Queer thrills, kills, ghosts, and gills

It’s four uniquely different queer titles, including a forced sex change abduction film, a gay Black murder mystery show, a gay ghost comedy, and a queer manfish movie!

VICTIM (2010)

Of course Sleepaway Camp is a classic that delves in the forced sex change subgenre, but the 2000-teens had its fair share of movies with that concept, including The Assignment with Sigourney Weaver and Michelle Rodriguez, The Skin I Live In with Antonio Banderas, and this one.

What’s interesting about Victim in current times is that it taps into phobia and paranoia about transgenderism and involuntary gender reassignment controversies created by right-wing nuts. While it could be seen as offensive to some for feeding into those phobia, it can also be an eye-opener for others if they just took the time to give it some deeper thought. On the surface, it’s obviously terrifying for a cisgender person to imagine having their physical body altered so it doesn’t match what they feel inside. Yet right there lies the key to what many cisgender people don’t want to even try to comprehend—the turmoil that transgender people experience because they don’t feel that their outside matches their inside.

Sex change angle aside, this is a traditional “abducted and experimented on” plot. After striking out with a pretty blonde woman, a young man leaves a bar, where he is attacked and abducted.

When he wakes up in a cell he is immediately abused and tortured by a mad doctor and his mute goon assistant. This eventually leads to the doctor doing a series of operations on the lead to turn him into a woman. The whole goal for viewers is to get to the end of the film to find out why exactly the doctor is doing this.

In the meantime, we get the usual abduction plot points: the young man tries to escape, he tries to call for help, a detective shows up to snoop around the doctor’s mansion, etc.

But what’s most compelling is the process of breaking the young man so he forgets his past and starts to accept his new gender identity. While a forced sex change might not be a reason to call this a queer film, there is a queer element—the mute goon seems lustful for the young man from the very start, to the point that he makes the young man feel uncomfortable and objectified—the way cis straight men are known to make women feel.

And since this is a horror/thriller, you can expect that the mute goon is eventually going to act out on his desires in a violent way.

Victim is short and simple in its general structure, but there is definitely some notable exploration into variations in gender identity, sexuality, male/female roles, and what physically constitutes being male or female. If I have one gripe, it’s that the final step in completing the young man’s transformation includes makeup, a dress, and a wig!

They had this guy imprisoned for quite some time, during which his real hair would have grown long and could have been styled and colored to get the look the doctor wanted. The wig takes the sex change into drag queen territory and kind of negates the whole trans operation narrative.

TRACE (2021)

This 5-episode series runs about 2-1/2 hours in total, so it’s easy to binge in one sitting.

Focusing primarily on Black characters, it has plenty of sexy bodies and sexy scenes, several drag performances, and murder.

The problem is that this low budget effort doesn’t give us enough killer thrills. Even a couple of mysterious delivery moments turn out to be bogus promises.

I would have more than welcomed a dick in a box.

The very first death scene has a classic slasher feel with horror-esque lighting, but that’s all we get beyond a bloody body reveal in a later episode.

The show does a lot of character development using flashbacks that tend to make the flow of the narrative a bit confusing (for instance, murdered people suddenly appearing on screen all alive again).

Exploring queer Black identity, white queer privilege, and how the two collide, the idea is that the murderers link a variety of different closeted, married white men and the men of color who sleep with them.

I’m psyched that this is a Black, erotic thriller mystery show, but I just wish they had ramped up the murderer and kill aspects to bring more tension and suspense.

It wouldn’t have been hard to add some intense chase scenes to the mix as well. Not to mention, the whole story revolves around the idea that closeted white gay men are being murdered, but there simply aren’t enough murders.

MARRY MY DEAD BODY (2022)

This gay Taiwanese ghost comedy is the perfect blend of romantic, sexy, funny, and heartwarming, and it even has a great car chase scene and fight scene.

A homophobic cop suddenly finds himself “married to a male ghost” thanks to some grandmotherly magic. Grandma supported her grandson in fighting for marriage equality, and promised to be there for his wedding. But then he tragically got hit by a car and died.

So when grandma has an encounter with the homophobic cop, she curses him and says his life will be hell unless he agrees to marry her grandson’s ghost.

What transpires is a charming comedy in which the living cop and dead grandson not only learn to live with each other, but also work together to determine who was in the car that killed the grandson.

It’s a sort of gay, supernatural buddy movie that at times brings to mind the relationship between Oda Mae and Sam in Ghost.

The 130-minute runtime is a little excessive, so the film does slow down in the middle.

However, once the “couple” gets closer to solving the case and gets tangled up with an organized crime gang, the action picks up and offers up a whole lot of fun.

And as cute as the guys are, and as sexy as some nude scenes are, this film doesn’t rely on any actual sex scenes to entice a gay audience.

MANFISH (2022)

This can easily be looked upon as a male-on-male version of The Shape of Water, but it’s a little more complicated than that…and it also leaves us with a lot of questions by the end.

In an opening scene that takes place in 1991, a man is dragged from the shore into the ocean. Is this supposed to imply that he becomes the manfish years later? I’m not sure.

Next we meet Terry, a dude with a bitter wife and a miserable brother.

With little fanfare, Terry discovers the manfish on the beach. His wife decides they’re going to take it home and then sell it to make money.

The film is sort of slow at first, yet the plot moves quickly with little time taken to develop the plot points. Before you know it, Terry and the manfish are sleeping together!

We also learn in passing that dogs have gone missing in the neighborhood, and it’s implied that the manfish ate them. He’s also capable of tearing humans to pieces when he feels threatened, but that also gets handled fleetingly.

Running only 80 minutes long, the film is charming, with some light humor and some dark undertones, but I really feel like more time was needed to expand on the storyline.

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There’s nothing to fear but 13 episodes of Fear Itself

This short-lived, 2008 series, considered by many to be an unofficial 3rd season of Masters of Horror, comes from some of the same creators, with each episode directed by a different director of the genre. Slightly toned down because it aired on a commercial station rather than on premium cable, the series still delivers a good number of satisfying episodes and features plenty of familiar faces. Here’s the breakdown of each episode with mention of which are my faves.

Episode 1 – The Sacrifice
Director: Breck Eisner (The Crazies remake)


Four criminals hide out at an isolated location in the snow, where three sisters care for them. However, the men soon discover there’s a freaky creature hungry for their blood. It’s a strong episode to start the series.

Episode 2 – Spooked
Director: Brad Anderson (Vanishing On 7th Street)
Eric Roberts plays a P.I. who gets hired by a woman to stake out her cheating husband from an abandoned house across the street. Turns out something sinister is messing with him and forcing him to face his past. The varying plot points are a mess and totally disjointed, making for a really weak narrative.

Episode 3 – Family Man
Director: Ronny Yu (Freddy vs. Jason, Bride of Chucky)


This is a familiar plot. After a car accident, a man ends up swapping minds with a serial killer! He has to figure out a way to save his family from the killer before he is executed in the serial killer’s body.

Episode 4 – In Sickness and in Health
Director: John Landis (An American Werewolf In London)


Right before her wedding, a bride gets a note saying her groom is a serial killer. This is a fun one.

Episode 5 – Eater
Director: Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator)


With master of horror Gordon behind the wheel, it’s no surprise that this a horror rollercoaster ride right from the start. Along with two other cops, Elisabeth Moss is a rookie cop responsible for watching over a cannibal serial killer that is brought into the station. Pretty soon Moss becomes convinced he is inhabiting the bodies of her peers, leading to some great suspense.

Episode 6 – New Year’s Day
Director: Darren Lynn Bousman (numerous Saw movies)
This one is like the plot of Cloverfield with zombies. On New Year’s Day, scream queen Briana Evigan attempts to get across town to be with her boyfriend, played by the late Cory Monteith of Glee. This episode also has one of the best twists of the series.

Episode 7 – Community
Director: Mary Aharon (American Psycho)
A couple moves into a gated community that turns out to be a totally privileged dictatorship, where the neighbors mind everyone else’s private business, control how they live their lives, and punish people after exposing their dirty secrets. It’s a frighteningly timely story considering the rise in fascism in the U.S.

Episode 8 – Skin and Bones
Director: Larry Fessenden (Stake Land: Origins)


In the snowy plains, a missing man (played by horror legend Doug Jones) returns completely starving and thin. He is frighteningly possessed…and hungry. Doug Jones makes this one fantastically grisly and gruesome.

Episode 9 – Something With Bite
Director: Ernest R. Dickerson (Bones)
After being bit, a vet starts turning into a werewolf and discovers he’s not the only one out there. There’s some cool werewolf action and some light humor in this one.

Episode 10 – Chance
Director: John Dahl (Joy Ride)
After seeing his doppelgänger in an antique store mirror, a dude goes on a killing spree. The writing is an absolute mess on this episode—while it gives the illusion that the mirror is supernatural, I think this is just a story about a guy with a split-personality or schizophrenia.

Episode 11 – The Spirit Box
Director: Rob Schmidt (Wrong Turn)


Anna Kendrick and her friend use a spirit board on Halloween to contact a fellow student that died of suicide. The spirit board says she was murdered, so they try to solve the mystery of who killed her. What’s kind of trippy about this episode is that Kendrick’s friend is named Becca…the name of Kendrick’s character in the Pitch Perfect movies.

Episode 12 – Echoes
Director: Rupert Wainwright (The Fog remake)


A young man buys a new house and begins having visions of violent murders. He soon realizes he and his girlfriend had a history in the house in a past life—and it involves horror hottie Eric Balfour.

Episode 13 – The Circle
Director: Eduardo Rodriguez (Fright Night 2 remake)


On Halloween, a jilted woman puts a curse on her ex, played by Johnathon Schaech, who is spending the weekend at a cabin in the woods with his new woman and their friends. Soon, people are turning into blood thirsty demons. Naturally, Evil Dead will come to mind, so this is a good way to end the series on a high note.

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Killer alligators, a vengeful tick, and a horror anthology

It’s another random trio of movies I plucked from my streaming watchlists, so let’s get right to them.

THE FLOOD (2023)

Crawl meets Deep Blue Sea as a flood draws alligators into a prison facility in this cheesy fun creature feature.

Convicts are being transported to the facility by horror hottie Randy Wayne.

Among the criminals are Casper Van Dien, horror daddy Mike Ferguson, and Bear Williams, whose name says it all.

With just one main female character working in the facility, this is definitely a movie for the sausage fest scares page. Hell, the shot of the muscle bound convicts walking through the rain in their T-shirts tells you all you need to know.

As the convicts are brought in and the waters rise in the building, another group of baddies shows up to bust Casper out.

Sure the CGI alligators suffer the usual issue of never staying in the same size proportions from one moment to the next, but there are plenty of cool underwater shots, loads of victims getting torn apart, and enough unintentionally funny scenes to make this a popcorn movie treat if you’re itching for a new nature strikes back flick.

And best of all, the various groups with different motivations do not all come together peacefully to escape the situation, which means tensions rise as fast as the water, and there are a good number of fight scenes.

NOCEBO (2022)

This is a pretty unique take on the voodoo/black magic revenge genre. Think Drag Me To Hell with a sweatshop worker getting revenge with the help of a tick…

Let me explain. A fashion designer has a weird, delusional experience where a dirty dog comes into her boutique and shakes a bunch of ticks off its body—one of which penetrates the fashion designer’s neck. Ew.

As a result, she contracts something on par with Lyme disease. She doesn’t even remember having called for a caretaker when a Filipino woman shows up at her door. The creepy performance by actress Chai Fonacier in the role is what saves this film for me.

Using unorthodox practices, the caretaker starts healing the fashion designer, but the husband in particular begins to think she has darker ulterior motives.

If you like movies with mysterious voodoo practitioners ruining a family’s life, this one has that vibe. I found the whole tick aspect unique, not to mention quite odd. Especially when the wife sees a giant tick crawling over her body at night. And yet, as bizarre as that moment is, it’s my favorite part of the movie because it’s generally the most excitement the film has to offer.

DEAD BY MIDNIGHT: Y2KILL (2022)

This anthology is a curiosity, because there’s a 2018 title with the same name (although subtitled 11pm Central) that includes several of the same directors and actors, but is listed as a series with episodes—none of which is a story in this movie. I would love to see those tales as well, but I can’t find that show on the internet anywhere. Also confusing is that the title of this film makes it sound like a New Year’s movie, yet the description references Halloween (a holdover from the description of the other Dead By Midnight), and there’s only one or two references to Halloween in this film.

It begins with an internet reviewer covering the other Dead By Midnight! What a tease considering that one is nowhere to be found to watch as of this writing.

Hannah Fierman of V/H/S is the hostess introducing each story. There are also faux advertisements in between each tale, including Kane Hodder for a pill that prevents you from murdering people, a PSA about dangerous substances in Halloween candy, a satirical Republican vampire election campaign ad, a commercial for a cleaner that washes away all evidence of a crime, a commercial for an extreme version of Alexa, an ad for ordering a bag of dicks, and a clip of Satan calling into a conservative news program.

As for the stories, I didn’t find any of them incredibly compelling—the episodes in the episodic Dead by Midnight sound better to me. Here’s what you can expect from this movie:

1st story – a woman abducts a televangelist and makes sure he gives to other people like he claims he does. Clever concept.

2nd story – a lesbian cartoonist must save her wife when her creation becomes a real-life cartoon killer. As you would imagine, it’s campy and silly.

3rd story – a sloppy slacker is terrified by a monster made by his own mess. There’s bit of gross out bathroom “humor” here, but overall it’s a fun quickie.

4th story – a medieval video game is presented with real people as friends play a virtual reality game. This tale feels really out of place in a horror anthology.

5th story – two young guys step into a hellish gym class where they have to wrestle a demon.

This is another quirky, silly tale. In other words, there isn’t much in the way of scary horror here.

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Getting a holiday horror fix in August

It’s never too earlier for Halloween, so I’m covering two Halloween horrors, along with holidays that are less likely to get the horror focus: Easter and New Year’s Eve! It’s four new ones to add to the holiday horror page.

THE INVOKING 4: HALLOWEEN NIGHTS (2017)

I’ve seen this indie franchise floating around streaming services for a while, but it took a jack-o’-lantern incorporated into the art and the word Halloween in the title for me to cave and watch one. I was pleasantly surprised that it’s an anthology. I also didn’t expect it to be halfway decent, but it is. However, there’s one down side…the Halloween angle is all trick, no treat. The holiday is never mentioned, and there isn’t a pumpkin in sight. Title cards introduce each story, informing us where they take place on Halloween night. It’s clear this was not intended as a Halloween installment—they simply manufactured the idea to garner interest in the series. What a bummer.

I fell for it, so here are the five stories:

1st story – a young woman is dealing with a little sister who suffers from trauma after they got separated in the woods one day. The little sister claims she saw something in the woods and it followed her home. Eek! One of my favorite tales in the bunch. Of note is that the older sister is queer.

2nd story – a family gets a flat tire on a road at night. When a stranger climbs into the car and offers an ultimatum…one family member must agree to be a sacrifice for the devil to let the others live. The dark outcome of this tale may have had more of an impact with a larger budget.

3rd story – this is a sinister satanic cult tale complete with a pregnant woman giving birth as part of a ritual. The ending delivers on the horror.

4th story – not my thing at all, this is a tale of a grotesque, baby manufacturing facility, where women are kept in cages…until they break free and get revenge. Figures this disturbing story is the longest of the bunch.

5th story – intentionally cheeky and cheesy, this final tale is about two friends watching horror movies and then applying what they know to fight off an intruder. It’s quirky meta horror, but it’s too goofy for my tastes.

NATTY KNOCKS (2023)

Director Dwight H. Little calls upon his friends from Halloween 4 and Phantom of the Opera 1989 to appear in this witch themed, Halloween slasher. I love the overall tone—it has a more teen-centric vibe of 80s and 90s slashers, complete with kids getting into mischief while riding bicycles around town.

My big disappointment is how little it focuses on the holiday. Halloween is mentioned, there are some decorations, and one scene involves the kids going through a haunted attraction, but the film takes place on the days leading up to the holiday, not actually on October 31st.

There are other issues as well. Danielle Harris plays a single mom with a son and daughter. However, they have a “babysitter” who looks about the same age as the son, and who also looks like she could be Danielle Harris’s daughter.

It’s very confusing considering she’s barely referenced as a babysitter and seems to “babysit” around the clock, to the point that I thought she was living with the family.

Next is the fact that there are just too many plot elements. A witch is burned to death in the 1970s (huh?) and vows revenge. There’s now an urban legend about Natty Knocks coming back from the dead if you say her name nine times—or if you knock on a door nine times? Or if she knocks on your door nine times? The film seems to imply all three at different points. But Natty Knocks isn’t quite the threat. The problem is Bill Moseley as a dude who is motivated by horror movies to do bad things.

After the main kids try to Natty Knock on Moseley’s door as a prank, they suspect he’s a killer, so they start doing their own investigation.

Robert Englund shows up long enough to deliver a monologue about how Natty Knocks came to be.

The Natty Knocks vengeful witch ghost and Bill Moseley psycho killer aspects result in a messy narrative that does eventually tie together, so you just have to go with it and have fun.

There’s Moseley in a creepy mask, there’s a witch ghost, there’s a haunted attraction, and there’s Danielle Harris and Robert Englund. How could you not have fun?

FAMILY DINNER (2022)

It’s an Easter horror flick that combines M. Night’s The Visit with folk horror like Midsommar and The Wicker Man. Perfectly paced for this subgenre (aka: slow), the film is well-produced, well-acted, and delivers building tension. However, this easily could have been a shorter anthology story, and it’s also fairly predictable with few surprises.

An overweight girl comes to her aunt’s farm for the Easter holiday. The aunt is a professional nutritionist, and the main girl wants to ask her for help losing weight.

As is common in these types of films, the aunt runs hot and cold, leaving us wondering if she’s merely eccentric or if she has an evil side. Especially since she appears to be starving the main girl.

The main girl also has to contend with her male cousin, who taunts her and treats her poorly, as well as the aunt’s new man, who seems both more normal than the rest of the family yet also kind of creepy.

The film delves into the parallels between craving food and sexual desire, but gives up on that theme before the film is through.

Instead, the main girl begins to see signs that things aren’t what they seem at the farm. Unfortunately, we’re just dragged along through very little excitement until the pretty obvious shocker moment near the end. And since this is folk horror, there is the obligatory monument made of sticks…

In recognition of the holiday, there’s also a bunny…getting slaughtered and skinned. Happy Easter!

TIME’S UP (2022)

This little indie slasher has a lot of fringe benefits. We can always use more New Year’s Eve horror. There’s holiday spirit. There’s a good Father Time killer mask.

The gore is done with practical effects. There are plenty of familiar horror faces, including: Hannah Fierman of the very first V/H/S story; horror king Damian Maffei of Christmas With the Dead; Sleepaway Camp stars Jonathan Tiersten and Felissa Rose; and horror cutie Dave Sheridan.

 

Problem is the script is all over the place and causes some pretty good actors to under perform due to lack of substance. Most of all, it feels like it was written by someone who grew up watching Scream era slasher movies and decided they could make a movie just like that.

After a bullied student commits suicide, the faculty at a high school gathers together to celebrate New Year’s Eve.

Before long they are haunted by a disembodied voice a la Saw and pushed to admit the errors of their ways.

Despite some simple slasher death scenes, this film just tries too hard to be complex, with flashbacks, distracting branching plot points that aren’t fully developed, and an odd decision to almost immediately split the characters up, with some of them ending up at a library. Huh?

Just watch it for the kills, the killer, and the horror veterans.

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Did the Hammer House of Horror series nail it?

Shifting from period pieces and leaving Frankenstein and Dracula in the past, Hammer Films tried to start the 1980s with an anthology series. But with the Creepshow films and television shows like Tales from the Crypt and Tales from the Darkside on the horizon, did this short-lived show set the stage or nearly close the curtain on the resurgence of anthologies? I’d say horror anthology shows succeeded in the 80s despite this show. I found most of the episodes slow, boring, and predictable, yet there are some standouts. Let’s go through each episode briefly.

Episode 1

Shocking that the first scene of this TV series from 1980 has killer POV and heavy breathing as a naked woman gets dressed. Were the rules about nudity on TV different in England than the U.S. back then? Anyway, this episode stars Patricia Quinn of Rocky Horror as a witch from the 1600s who returns to her farmhouse to terrorize the couple that now lives there. Not particularly frightening, but fun thanks to Quinn’s presence.

Episode 2

A female reporter is sent to a weight loss center with cruel and abusive practices. Her investigation turns up something much more sinister. I found this episode to be rather bland after an initial intriguing setup.

Episode 3

A real estate agent wants to dump his wife for his secretary. He has fantasies about the wife being murdered in a house and the secretary, always with a completely different look, telling him to go find the house in waking life. As he gets stuck in the cyclical situation, he doesn’t know if any of it is real or if he’s trapped in a dream. For me, a wrecking ball chase scene is the highlight of the whole episode.

Episode 4

I noticed on IMDb that most of the reviews say this episode is the worst of the bunch and a totally forgettable rip-off of The Omen…the very reason I personally find it to be the only really good episode so far. A scientist and his wife lose their son, so they adopt a new one. This boy is quite evil and even has a dog companion…which the dad has to “take care of” after it does something vicious. Things only get worse when the couple’s dead child appears to come back from the dead…along with the dog.

Be warned—there is a lot of cruel rabbit slaughter in this episode. That alone makes it anything but forgettable to me. And not for nothing, but so does the twist.

Episode 5

Another juicy episode, this one is even bloodier than the previous one. A couple moves into a rundown house with their young daughter, and immediately blood starts flowing from pipes. There is a gruesome death of the family cat (this show hates animals), and there is a great, bloody kid’s birthday party scene in this macabre tale.

Episode 6

After inheriting a fetish doll, a man begins stabbing it every time he gets angry at someone, not realizing until too late that doing so actually kills them…and that the doll is set on getting him, too. Fun, familiar storyline and there are some violent kills, but why even do a fetish doll story if you’re not going to deliver fetish doll horror that exceeds the level of that in the classic anthology Trilogy of Terror?

Note that this episode features an interracial couple, which was a big deal on TV back in 1980…at least in the U.S.

Episode 7

Hammer alum Peter Cushing stars as the owner of a pet shop who keeps a secret zoo of exotic animals. He offers an ex-con a job feeding them, but then imprisons him to do experiments on him. This tale has a Nazi element to it, and that’s always terrifying. The story also has a classic horror anthology zinger ending.

However, this episode once again reminds us that this show hates animals. Ugh.

Episode 8

A couple’s car crashes, so they walk to a mansion where a woman welcomes them for the night. There are numerous children around the house that just happen to be werewolves, which threatens the couple’s future together, to say the least. Definitely one of my favorite episodes of the series.

Episode 9

This is a fun tale of a murderous seductress that steals the hearts of the men she beds. Most notable is that the detective on the case speaks with a suspect who is both an immigrant and a cross-dressing performer, is quite respectful of him, and even scolds his partner, who makes derogatory remarks about the performer.

Episode 10

Heavy occult situations permeate this episode about a glass mirror that devil worshippers want to get their hands on. Like most satanic cult themed shows, it’s no surprise this is a slow burn with little in the way of horror action. But the series does keep up its trend of animal cruelty with a rooster sacrifice.

Episode 11

After a former mental patient shoots a home invader, her man buries the body in the woods so she won’t get sent away again. But then the woman starts seeing the corpse of the man everywhere she looks. Is he back from the dead to get revenge, or is she really losing it? This is a classic and cliché horror anthology plot, so most horror veterans will see the ending coming from a mile away.

Episode 12

This take on the “body snatcher” theme is by far my favorite episode. It’s not only creepy, it’s fast-paced and suspenseful as well. A family picks up a hitchhiker in the rain. Cloaked in a raincoat, the hitcher immediately attacks the father and the car crashes. When the wife awakes in the hospital, she learns her husband is unresponsive…and she is asked to identify the attacker. To her horror, the man looks exactly like her husband! As a result, when she takes home her husband, who lost his voice in the accident, she begins to suspect that he is actually the hitcher. Eek! The tension just keeps building in this one.

Episode 13

A dude who works in a morgue begins to think his colleagues are out to get him and that the number 9 is being used as part of a cult to signify the devil. As he goes into a state of paranoia and becomes convinced the cult is trying to draw him in, this becomes very reminiscent in style to the original Rosemary’s Baby.

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PRIME TIME: aliens, exorcism, and a slasher

This trio of films from my Prime list for a movie marathon worked out for me, because there was satisfying horror to be had in all three flicks.

ALIEN INVASION (2023)

Running 73 minutes long, this little alien flick gets to the point and delivers some creature feature fun, with an alien that looks like Alien and moves with a very SyFy CGI style.

A group of friends sneaks into a neighbor’s house, finds a mysterious egg in a glass case, and opens it.

Before long, they’re being terrorized by a giant alien. It must have been cramped in that egg…

In a totally silly scene, the neighbor comes home, sees that the egg has hatched, and then starts speaking to the alien (which he doesn’t even see because it’s hiding), explaining to it in English how it came to be in his house, thereby giving us the backstory.

It becomes a cat and mouse game through the house as the alien kills friends left and right. Eventually the survivors run to a church, where one girl’s father is now a priest. Wait until you see him box with the alien.

There’s a cool scene with some of the girls trapped in a car by the alien right before the movie ends with a UFO arriving but no definitive conclusion. It just kind of cuts short.

THE POSSESSION EXPERIMENT (2016)

This is an earlier film from the director of Bad Candy. If you can’t get enough of possession films but would like something a little different, this fits the bill, even if it is a little hokey at times. Personally, I had a blast with it because it isn’t just another possessed girl tied to a bed movie.

However, it begins that way, with Bill Moseley as one of the priests, and the scene totally rocks. The exorcism is being documented on video, and the possessed girl wreaks havoc on those in attendance.

Years later, a cute college dude decides to do a project about the deaths at the exorcism for his world religions class. He’s considered a geek by his friends, who nag him to lighten up and score some pussy. He’s also (sort of) playfully called a fag by his hot, asshole roommate.

Anyway, he convinces a friend to sneak into the abandoned house where the exorcism occurred. They find a Ouija board, and he decides he wants to live stream himself welcoming the supposed demon into his body.

This is where the film gets a fresh twist. The possession attempt seems to be a failure at first, but then the action kicks in, and a possessed host goes rogue, even running through the streets jabbing people with…Freddy Krueger razor fingers! Awesome.

Of course it wouldn’t be a possession film without an exorcism climax, and this one definitely breaks the mold, with some fun surprises and plenty more deaths.

HOUSE OF INEQUITY (2023)

It’s not often that a film delivers so much on the horror aspects yet suffers from trying way too hard to offer character development and plot, but that is the case with House of Inequity. Excessive exposition through dialogue does nothing but make the premise of the movie get more and more murky.

The opening scene feels disjointed from the rest of the movie. A serial killer on the run sneaks into a house and commits murder for the purpose of an occult ritual apparently. Don’t expect to ever understand why he does so or how it causes what the main characters experience afterward.

We meet a teen being raised by his brother with the help of some hot friends. The teen is being bullied at school and is also fascinated by true crimes, so his sexy support system offers him a chance to sneak into the house where the serial killer murder took place.

Once inside, they are soon split up by supernatural forces and then get killed off one by one by some ghoulish and masked fiends who all look human to me.

But I’m not sure if they are or if the occult ritual at the beginning of the film had something to do with releasing otherworldly fiends into the house.

Either way, the kills are brutal and violent, and the fiends are nice and freaky. Problem is that in the final act the leader of this creepy clan has to explain that everyone’s deaths were based on their fears. Not a new concept, but those fears are never clearly expressed despite all the dialogue and insight into the characters.

Some fears are obvious (a guy thinks his dad hated him), but others are pretty out there (fearing someone is going to chisel out your teeth then stick a needle in your eye?). I guess it could be argued, however, that exploring really deep, dark, twisted fears (like being set on fire when you are paralyzed) is a cool idea, but not knowing that’s what we’re witnessing until after all the kills have happened kind of takes away from our opportunity to truly feel the terror the characters are.

Despite the flawed execution and a runtime that needed to be trimmed for pacing, this flick really does deliver some great horror sequences.

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Do doggie companions make survival horror more fun?

As I continue my endeavor to replay all my horror games I haven’t covered on Boys, Bears & Scares yet, I take on Haunting Ground and Rule of Rose, two games in which the protagonist is joined on her horror journey by a doggy friend.

HAUNTING GROUND

Following on the heels of my replay of Clock Tower 3, it’s another run and scream experience with Haunting Ground. You play a young woman trapped in a castle and pursued by a variety of baddies. You can run, you can hide, you can slow them down with some defensive items that hurt them momentarily, and you can even sic your dog friend on them, but you can’t fight them until boss battles. Sigh. You also have to manage your health, your panic meter, and the health of your dog Hewie. Double sigh.

If you examine things like gory messes around the castle, you panic a little. When it escalates, you become disoriented, your visibility is hindered, you trip, fall, and crash into things, and eventually the screen goes wonky. Provided you can get away from the threat in that state (you can’t), panic restores slowly over time, or you can take healing items to fix it. There are also health items for when you take damage, and health for Hewie as well. As you progress in the game, you’ll find different choker necklaces you can wear that help lessen the effects of dangerous stimuli on your health and panic levels as well.

Of course for me there’s a crucial element of the game: saves. You save at grandfather clocks, but you can’t save while you’re being chased by an enemy. There are also sinks and fountains where you can fully restore your health…as long as you’re not being chased.

Just like Clock Tower 3, there are hiding spots, and they only help so much. If you hide in the same spot too many times, the enemies find you. I did notice in this game however that if you really run around enough and create significant distant between yourself and the stalker, the stalker eventually disappears for a while. As if run and scream games aren’t already annoying enough, this one tosses in essentially harmless enemies that serve mostly to just draw attention to your location so the stalker can find you. Argh.

Next comes the item collecting. There are a variety of ways to get items. Some are just sparkling in the open for you to find. Others are in red vases you can kick to break. And still other items can be made at machines you insert plates into and then type words on. As usual, you’d have no idea what words to type to make crucial items you need to move ahead in the game if you don’t use a walkthrough.

As for Hewie, you find him tied to a tree early on in the game. He becomes your friend, but you do have to train him with commands mapped to the right thumbstick such as, “good boy”, “stay”, “go”, and the mean one, “No!” I tried to use that as little as possible, because I can’t be mean to dogs. Unfortunately, while you can kick vases and even enemies, if you accidentally kick Hewie (he tends to circle and get in the way a lot), he will lose a little trust in you. Do it too much and he will attack you! I’m proud to say Hewie never attacked me. He does seem to learn commands quickly, and you can also feed him jerky you find as health and as treats, but as much as he listens, he seems to flip you the finger when you really need him to listen to commands during puzzle solving. For instance, there’s segment that requires you to step on a series of discs on the floor to light them up in a certain order. You get Hewie to go to them, tell him to stay, and then as you’re running to the next lit disc, Hewie decides he just doesn’t want to stay anymore and you have to start the whole puzzle over again. NUMEROUS TIMES. I swear the game programmers do this shit just to fuck with us.

Also of note is that you can accidentally “lose” Hewie. If he falls behind and you forget to keep calling him to stick with you, he might end up on the other side of a reconfigured path you’ve taken, and you have to circle back to find him. Sometimes it can take an infuriating amount of time to actually find him considering walls and doors have shifted from their original positions, which heightens the chances that the stalker will come after you again because you’re taking too long to get anything done. Infuriating.

As for the enemies, there’s a new one in each chapter (which eventually ends in a boss battle). And just as you can’t heal or save while being chased, you can’t do anything involving your mission objective. So you end up running in circles, forgetting where you left off, try to shake the stalker, and then try to find your way back to where you were.

The first stalker is a big bald goon. The next stalker is a relentless bitch that slashes at you viciously. The third stalker has a damn gun and shoots at you and Hewie. It’s like trying to go out in public in the United States. The fourth stalker begins as a decrepit old man that crawls along the ground really fast. In the second part of his chapter he becomes young and studly with the ability to teleport.

There are a variety of frustrating elements in between trying to stay away from stalkers:

  • There’s a nightmarish hall with a perspective from in front of you and two dark areas on the floor. You have to tell Hewie to go and then follow him as closely as possible along the blackness on a path apparently only he can see. There’s a save before, but this leads to a boss battle, and then you have to cross back over it after the boss battle! WTF?

  • You’ll never know it if you don’t fallow a walkthrough, but after the first chapter there are powerful steel boots you can find for kicking enemies. However, they are in a bathroom you must visit before you move on to the next section and before the new stalker starts coming for you, because there’s no going back after that.

  • There’s a part where you have to use a giant golem figure (sort of like Bigfoot) to walk around and put out fires through a maze of tunnels so you can pass through them to new doorways. The catch is you have to type left-right commands on plates…and you’ll need enough of them to do it all. And every time you insert a plate in the golem, you have to watch the video of him walking down the tunnels all over again. The only upside is you can press a run button to get him to do it faster. Do video game programmers not realize there are ways to just make him do it fast without you having to press a button?

 

  • One of the boss battles has you getting Hewie to attack the enemy while you push blocks through tracks in the floor—but the camera angles suck, and Hewie and the boss will fight right in your way as you try to get to the blocks.

  • The final stalker–the crawling old man who turns into a supernatural hunk? His chapter is a multiple “final boss” fight. The first time is pretty easy—you just have to lure the old man onto a conveyor belt, get Hewie to attack him so he stays on it, then quickly run across the room and kick a machine two times to get it to turn on. After you do some more exploring and collecting, which thankfully involves quite a few save clocks in the area, the second fight with the young version of the stalker is annoying. However, there are multiple ways to kill him, including turning on a fan to blow him into a lava pit, getting him to run over fire spots on the floor, having Hewie repeatedly attack him from behind, and also using your own throwing weapons if you’ve saved them up and not used them on other enemies throughout the course of the game.

  • finally, the third time you encounter the last boss is a hot mess. Literally. It’s the dude totally on fire and chasing you with a one-hit kill situation. At the same time, you have to listen to sound cues to know when to crouch to avoid being rocked by an earthquake tremor, which will both eat way at your health and slow you down. During this chase you also have to get Hewie to open a door to move on and then button mash to push away a statue that’s falling on you. This is where you’re most likely to get killed, because the hot lava dude is right on your tail at this point. Sigh. Good news is it only took me three tries to get it.

RULE OF ROSE

The plot of this game goes so deep that the clumsy game mechanics get in the way of appreciating the story that is unfolding. The combat in particular is so bad I would highly recommend using a Codebreaker if you want to smoothly experience the tale that unfolds without having to struggle through and replay endless battles without enough health items to stand a chance of surviving.

This is a horror metaphor for the darkest avenues of childhood—loneliness, sadness, bullying, mental and emotional trauma that causes violent behavior before a sense of morals has a chance to develop, childhood terrors and coping mechanisms, and most disturbing of all, child abuse of all sorts. Appropriately, you play a young, frightened girl dumped at a bus station at night on a deserted road. Before long, you arrive at an ominous orphanage.

This isn’t tank control horror survival. You move the character by pushing in the direction you want to go, and as usual, this controller schematic can lead you into spinning in circles because you keep changing course accidentally during screen changes. Passing through doors is slow going, but the name of the room you are entering is presented as a title card while you wait for the load. So it would be nice if the map actually featured the names of the locations, but it’s just a big, blank, useless drawing.

The game definitely captures a sense of isolation, for there is virtually no audible dialogue. The ambience is created through irritating old time melodies and textual subtitles, sort of like watching a silent film. This makes it feel very lonely, but also kills the creep factor because everything talks to you…including inanimate objects. Not so spooky when they’re not actually speaking. There are also lots of pauses as the game title cards describe to you what’s going on, sort of like reading a storybook, which plays a big role in the fairy tale freakishness of the game.

Both tragic and terrifying, the highlight here is the creepy laughs that follow you as you travel and chase after fleeing children in shadowy corridors. You’ll also just run into children playing in areas where you can talk to them to get a little more fluff from the story (all as subtitles). While plenty of the children are harmless, there are also evil children that practically stepped right out of the corn. They sometimes wear bags on their heads, and they torture animals. Serious warning. There’s a lot of gruesome animal torture.

The most frightening “children” are the deformed ones that attack you, as well as ones that have rat, pig, and goat heads. Eek! You find sharp weapons to attack them, but the aiming is really wonky. You have to constantly readjust your body position. The goal is to score the steel pipe, which has the longest range and can take down multiple enemies with one swing. They will totally swarm you, at which point it’s just better to run by them. Good luck getting around them in narrow spaces as they leap on you and you have to shake them off by jiggling the thumbstick.

A bucket on sticks serves as the save point, and there are enough of them around to be comforting. You can also talk to the bucket on sticks to get clues on how to proceed. Weird thing is there are certain points in the game where you’ll just be asked if you want to save, and it’s always right before you wake up in a save room with a bucket on sticks.

Also in the save rooms are rubbish bins that serve as item boxes. The cool thing about this game is that you can simply “drop” an item anywhere and it will go into the bin. It’s a feature you need, because juggling inventory and knowing what you can drop into the rubbish bin is hard to figure out. You quickly fill up inventory and then can’t pick up other items. The game doesn’t even tell you what you’re trying to pick up…it just tells you to drop something first, so you won’t find out what the object is until you deal with the conundrum of relinquishing your hold on an item you might need. Important to note is that you will pick up storybooks along the way, but you don’t actually have to keep them in inventory—one slot is taken up by “files”…and all the storybooks are in there, too. Kind of ridiculous—they should all just go into a separate files tab like most games so you don’t have to manually store them.

Of course, the most important feature of the game is your dog companion Brown—who, despite his name, looks like a golden retriever (he knows I’m talking about him). You find him all tied and bound and hanging upside down. Fucked up, especially because you can’t save him immediately. You have to leave him there and go find scissors to cut him down.

Unlike Hewie in Haunting Ground, the good news is: a) there’s no friendly fire, so you can’t accidentally hurt Brown while fighting enemies, and b) you don’t have to train Brown, and the interactions are streamlined. “Go”, “stay”, and “come” are the basics, and you can love on him a little if he’s close. The most crucial role he plays is in finding items, which is a little weird but essential to playing the game. You have to select “find” on an object in inventory then tell Brown to “go”. You have to then follow him as he sniffs out a different object. You must do this constantly to progress. Be warned. If you’re in a battle with those little devil’s spawn while in the midst of tracking an item and you want Brown to attack them (which is actually just barking to temporarily distract them), you have to go into inventory and turn off the find request temporarily. Ugh.

You will occasionally encounter bosses. The horrible, clunky combat control, which often has you swinging and completely missing even though you’re right next to the enemy, makes them a chore that could leave you wanting to quit.

The first boss is kind of lame. He’s an old geek in a sort of catcher’s mask. But it’s very easy to get caught up in a loop of him hitting you. You must wait for his long swing and hit him from behind. In this and every boss battle, make sure to keep Brown out of the fight or you might have to heal him too—call him off to the side and tell him to stay. What’s the purpose of having a dog that can go vicious for you if you can’t have him tear into enemies?

Another section has no dedicate boss, but there are these weird cone shaped creatures with duck bills that just peck the fuck out of you. There are two ways to encounter them. First there’s a section of hallways and rooms, and there’s one particular room you need to find. The map is useless, and this is one instance when there’s nothing to let Brown find to get you there. If you go into any room other than that specific room, you get locked in and encounter a duck bill you have to fight in a cramped space, and there is nowhere to have Brown stay to be safe, so chances are he is going to die. The next time you meet duck bills, there are a swarm of them! You need to run past them with Brown in order to get an item you need on the other side of them…then run back through them again. Ugh.

The next boss is a damn mermaid that dangles from a rope and drops repeatedly from the ceiling, screaming her head off and spitting acid at you that you’re supposed to avoid. It also leaves puddles on the floor that you get stuck in temporarily. Fighting her takes forever, but you can leave Brown in one corner where he mostly stays safe.

There’s then a horrible section that requires you to go fight two of each kind of animal child to open the next door…so you have to run around the house looking for them while dodging regular deformed children enemies. One of the animal kids you have to kill is in a room with a bunch of other animal kids, so you have to fight all of them just to clear the room so you can actually figure out which one is the one you need to kill.

The final boss is an enslaved hulk of a man in his undies who crawls around and jumps you. You basically have to get behind him and hit him in the ass.

You won’t realize it, but when you fight him again immediately after, you’re given a gun. But to get the good ending, you’re not supposed to shoot him…you’re supposed to use the gun from your inventory when he kneels, which he does pretty soon…something you’d never know without using a walkthru.

There are plenty of instances when you will be left clueless. For instance, at one point you have to check a wardrobe closet three times to make the teddy bear on top fall off. You would never know to do this without a walkthrough, and it’s crucial because it triggers a scene that gets you out of a locked room. After doing that, you actually have to wait for someone to arrive to let you out! It takes so long you would think the game glitched without a walkthru to warn you that the wait is not short. During another mission that has you locating a power room to turn the lights back on while dodging pig men left and right, the find command suddenly isn’t totally accurate and there are times you should ignore where Brown wants to go and go another way! How would you ever know this without a walktrhu?

Just as the game is nearing the end, the programmers found an obnoxious way to extend the play time. It’s a tedious segment with annoying, whimsical music playing on an old record while you go from room to room trying to talk to children that ignore you and then throw notes at you.

Also important to point out is that the game is quite glitchy. For example, you walk through the dog, you get stuck on baddies while trying to run around them when they attack you, and if they fall to the ground and you run into them, you push them across the floor!

And finally, as melancholy and depressing as the themes are in this game, for me the most emotional aspect is how the dog is used and what he represents. For dog lovers, this game will have a much bigger impact than Haunting Ground.

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There’s more to horror than just white people…

My latest movie marathon included movies that feature Black main characters and racial themes.

DON’T LOOK BACK (2020)

Jeffrey Reddick, the openly gay writer of the original Final Destination, writes and directs this throwback to the supernatural slashers from the same early 2000s era.

Reminiscent of the classic Ray Bradbury story “The Crowd”, this is a modern look at the obsession with spectating as horrible situations take place in public rather than intervening to perhaps save a life.

In this case, a young Black woman is one of several people that watch as a man is beaten to death in a park.

She suffers from macabre hallucinations as guilt eats away at her for not helping the victim of the park crime.

Soon, she starts seeing a raven right before others who were at the park that day die. I think this is where the film is lacking. There aren’t many death scenes, and they aren’t particularly inventive or memorable—surprising when you consider the creator is responsible for a franchise that’s all about its wild death scenes. There is, however, a scene in which the main girl goes searching for someone crying for help that I’m convinced is a nod to Tina’s opening scene in the original Elm Street, right down to lattice fencing in the background.

As with other films of this sort, the plot points don’t stray far from the template—the main girl is the only one who believes something supernatural is going on, and as she tries to intervene before each murder the investigation inevitably points to her being a prime suspect. It’s definitely familiar territory, making this a retro comfort food horror flick.

For me, the absolute highlight is the ending, which brings to mind the zinger conclusions of classic horror anthology shows.

TRINKET BOX (2023)

You know things aren’t going well when a movie has a dream scare scene and a dream scare scene within a dream scare scene. Or when a movie called Trinket Box is instead entirely based around a necklace, not the trinket box it came in.

A long opening sequence tells the tale of older days, when a young Black man is chased down by a white family for sleeping with their daughter. This is after the daughter talks to him about witches…a topic that is flirted with but never fully explored.

In the present day, an interracial couple moves into a new home. The absolute best part of this film is when an old white neighbor comes knocking to check on the wife because she saw “a dark man” leaving the premises. When the husband comes home, he warns the wife not to trust the old lady because she’s most likely racist…and the wife tells him he’s being paranoid! It’s an ideal example of how even white people married to Black people can look right through racism as if it’s not there.

Meanwhile, the old neighbor, who gives the wife the trinket box with the necklace in it, seems very witchy, but that idea simply isn’t expanded on enough to deliver much in the way of thrills. Other than the dream sequences, this turns almost exclusively into a drama about the tensions between the couple. She eventually gets pregnant, and I can’t believe how much time in this already too long movie is spent on their round of pregnancy announcements.

There’s only one other brief encounter with the neighbor, a nudity-free sex scene that is literally set to bow-chicka-wow-wow music, a lot of walking around in way too dark settings, and faux scares thanks to excessive orchestral stingers.

The husband does begin to suspect the wife acts differently whenever she’s wearing the necklace. With about fifteen minutes to go, she basically goes Linda Blair very briefly. The never-ending finale (which continues after the credits) does connect the main plot to the opening scene, but the connection makes this some sort of ridiculous plot to systematically wipe out interracial couples…partially through the occult.

GOATMAN (2023)

The film and sound quality fluctuate constantly in this goofy, low budget backwoods flick, making it clear what you’re in for. As corny and bad as it is, there’s a slight sense of humor here that made me laugh several times. The big flaw is that there’s not enough of the hokey goatman.

A white reporter, her Black cameraman, and a small crew head into the woods with a tour guide to investigate a bunch of disappearances near a bridge with an infamous past—in the early 1900s a Black goat herder was killed there by a clan of whites.

The local rednecks that are interviewed tell tales of The Goatman, which is believed to roam the forest and kill people, and some of the locals gave me a giggle.

Disconnected flashbacks show three teens doing a séance with a Ouija board on the bridge and then being killed by Goatman. We needed so much more of this action.

Instead, after a whole lot of talk between main characters, they are abducted by a bunch of hillbillies!

The bulk of the “horror” ends up being the hillbillies tormenting them while they are tied up, and then killing them one by one.

I kept wishing Goatman would show up to save the news crew from the hillbillies. That doesn’t happen until 70 minutes in, and it’s once again way too little Goatman action.

The tongue-in-cheek tone of the film is highlighted by a funny faux commercial, as well as a trailer promoting the director’s other film Amityville Cult.

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It came from a 90s camcorder

I don’t know why I put myself through this, but I simply had to watch these 3 low budget films from the 90s that all look like they were shot on a handheld VHS camera.

L.A. AIDS JABBER (1994)

This movie was released over a decade after the AIDS epidemic first gained prominence around the world, yet it is totally based on a major AIDS panic urban legend that everyone heard about back then…a crazy guy running around jabbing people with a syringe full of AIDS-tainted blood. It has also been retitled to sound more exploitative and offensive; the original title was simply Jabber.

Amazingly, there are absolutely no derogatory references to gay men or attacks aimed at the queer community in this film, so kudos to the creators for that. Our main guy Jeff is a straight dude who finds out from his doctor that he is HIV positive. This is where the film shows its ignorance, mostly going directly to “I have AIDS and I’m going to die” to serve the urgency of the killer’s motivation rather than exploring the idea of being HIV positive.

However, while this film is considered a horror movie with a slasher template, it’s really not, because the dude targets those he feels have wronged him by just jabbing them with his needle and then leaving. It’s not as if they’re going to die on the spot.

In an effort to capture the sleazy feel of indie movies from the early 80s, we get plenty of shots of seedy city streets lined with porn businesses, and our jabber goes after the likes of a prostitute and a psychic, but there’s no nudity, no gore, and no suspense.

In fact, the majority of the film focuses on the detectives on the case, and it’s quite boring. When they finally track down the jabber, the “shocker” twist makes this feel like it should have been a short episode of The Hitcher or Tales from the Crypt rather than a full-length feature.

THE NECRO FILES (1997)

This one makes up for all the exploitation Jabber lacked, beginning with hairy pussy, tits, and ass in the shower.

A masked psycho breaks in, rapes, stabs, and kills the woman showering and then cuts off her nipple and eats it.

Then shit gets crazy…

The cops shoot the psycho, he’s buried, a satanic cult resurrects home by sacrificing a baby (an obvious doll) and pissing on his grave. Like, we actually get a shot of urine streaming from a wiener.

The psycho rises from the grave as a corpse and starts hunting down, raping, and killing people as they’re involved in skanky sex, from a BDSM couple to a woman fucking a blowup doll with a dildo.

Meanwhile, the dead baby is also somehow resurrected and flies around talking like a chipmunk from outer space. The best part is when it hunts down to funny rednecks that regret having participated in the satanic cult.

It’s pure nasty absurdity made for a very particular audience. You know who you are.

I’m not saying that’s who I am, but with the other options in this trio, The Necro Files was definitely the most satisfying selection in this triple feature.

THE HIDDEN (1993)

This Australian film runs 77 minutes long, but it can’t come up with any horror energy to keep it going.

After a dude doing a drug deal in a sewer tunnel is attacked and killed by infrared monster POV, his brother becomes determined to find out who killed him.

His hunt to uncover the truth consists mostly of talk and bad dreams. That’s all you get until the last few minutes, when the brother and his friends set a booby trap to lure the monster out of the tunnel…with cocaine.

There are shirtless guys, a lot more infrared POV, and fleeting shots of what basically looks like a guy in a gorilla or Bigfoot costume, and that’s all the horror this snoozer has to offer due to the non-existent budget. Fun concept though.

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I saw it on cable during the summer of 2023

I decided to tap into movies floating around Showtime and Starz that I hadn’t seen yet, which led me to this trio.

V FOR VENGEANCE (2022)

This is the kind of humorous action vampire movie that would have found a home on SyFy back in the day, and it’s the perfect type of popcorn movie to watch with my horror-lite husband.

After a cute, sexy vampire girl shows her true colors by hitching rides with a couple of redneck bears to feed on, she reconnects with her estranged vampire sister. Despite bickering, they decide they must take down the clan of bad vamps that killed their parents and rescue their missing sister.

Along the way, they become allies with a few vampire hunters, including a sexy one they can’t resist.

There are some playful twists and turns leading up to the sisters infiltrating the lair of the vampire clan to destroy its leader.

The cast is pretty and charming, the humor is cute and funny, and the fight scenes are a load of fun. This is a low budget indie I could easily watch over and over.

HUMAN RESOURCES (2022)

Why, why, why did the creators of this film opt to make it 110 minutes long? Just look at reviews on IMDb and you’ll see most of them saying they couldn’t get through half the movie.

Well, I stuck it out, and this movie did start to bore me to tears…until the last 25 minutes, when it at last delivers on the horror and throws in an unexpected, tonal shift that is fun but definitely jarring.

A dude desperate for work takes a job at a very creepy hardware store with dark and isolate aisles, militant managers that watch workers like hawks, and zones that are off limits. There’s even a zombie-like, regular customer. Eek!

Our main guy notices almost immediately that things are off, learns the previous employee disappeared mysteriously, and becomes obsessed with finding out what happened to him and what’s behind a locked door in back.

Unfortunately, that plot simply can’t sustain itself for nearly an hour and a half. The main dude always looks terrified and is constantly almost getting caught snooping around, yet nothing ever comes of any of the building suspense moments. The repetition just causes the film to start dying a slow death.

And then comes that final act. It’s like this movie did that Tantric cum control trick and finally let it all explode at once. We find out what’s behind that door, there’s suddenly inhuman madness, and the main guy finds his balls and breaks out his fighting moves to a rockin’ track (the out of place tonal shift moment).

I would love to recommend this movie for the finale, but you just have to understand that it will try your patience before you get there.

THE LONELIEST BOY IN THE WORLD (2022)

The director of L.A. Slasher offers up a zombie message movie that brings to mind the film Fido…with less zombie action. Don’t let the cartoonish, surreal sets and campy tone fool you…this film labeled a zomcom fantasy on imdb isn’t funny. It’s actually sad.

The lead is Max Hardwood, who played the lead in the queer film Everybody’s Talking About Jamie. And while this film is a metaphor for family, friends, and loneliness, his performance as a young man who was in a psychiatric  institution, who was abandoned by his father, and whose mother recently died in a freak accident, leaving him alone to live in her pink-lit house, can just as easily be read as a metaphor for the isolation some young queer people feel when they have no social and familial support.

Max is told by his social workers that in order to live alone, he needs to make friends to prove he’s a normal member of society. Problem is that everyone bullies him.

Soooooo…he digs up the body of a young man who recently died and brings him home to be his friend. There’s definitely a queer edge to this short-lived relationship (so to speak), because Max decides to go back to the cemetery and dig up a whole family worth of corpses. He even brings home a dog he runs over while leaving the cemetery. As a result, I felt like Max doesn’t get enough time to bond with any of them individually.

Every one of them comes back as a zombie and they all live a happy life together. We can assume they’re not really alive and that Max just needs companionship, because there’s no explanation for the zombie transformations—Max just wakes up and there they are. However, that begs the question, why doesn’t he imagine them coming back to life as whole people and not rotting corpses?

There’s not much of a story arc to keep any momentum going beyond Max living with corpses and occasionally making sure they’re not discovered by outsiders. The whole film feels like a colorfully tragic peek at a really lonely kid who can’t come to terms with reality. Even a sequence on Halloween didn’t draw me into this world. And the ending, while seeming to suggest that Max finds a positive escape from the psychological prison he’s created, is just as sad and depressing to me as the whole movie.

There is, at least, a good soundtrack, including “We Close Our Eyes” by Go West, Max Hardwood covering the Go West hit “King of Wishful Thinking”, an instrumental of “Can’t Smile Without You” used as a theme song, Peaches & Herb’s “Shake Your Groove Thing” during a montage of Max making his family comfy, and “Ghostbusters” for the Halloween sequence.

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