Well, it wasn’t as much of a risk as it might sound. One film is by a director whose every movie is a must-have for me, a second has hot guys on the cover, and the third is a sequel to a film I have, so I was pretty satisfied. Here’s how it panned out.
PARTY BUS TO HELL (2017)
He’s still blending sex, horror, and humor like he just made There’s Nothing Out There yesterday. And I’m still eating it up.
Tara Reid is totally in manic Sharknado slaughtering mode in the first few scenes in which she appears, which definitely set the tone for the film but are also extraneous and unnecessary. Feels just like an excuse to put a familiar name in the credits.
The main party bus is on its way to a Burning Man music festival, and it’s all tits and lesbianism until they are forced to stop temporarily in the middle of the desert.
And then a satanic cult attacks in an insane bloodbath!
Those who survive lock themselves in the bus…where they are trapped without the key.
The bus driver eventually reappears with the key and she fricking rules. Actress Sadie Katz (Wrong Turn 6, Blood Feast remake, The Night Shift) is hilarious and just completely goes for it.
Meanwhile, John Molinaro (Pool Party Massacre) is a delicious devil daddy as the cult leader.
And his cult is hilariously horny, eventually delving into a bloody orgy like none other.
Why are there so few directors like Kanefsky willing to push the limits and go wild like this?
Meanwhile, the group stuck on the bus gets into their own devilish trouble when they try to stop a satanic ritual from going into effect using sex as a weapon…and fail miserably, unleashing a demonic beast from hell.
If anything, I wish her arrival would have come sooner, and she had wreaked more havoc. She comes a little late in the game, and the part of the film involving the cult goes on a little long before getting to the good stuff.
ATTACK OF THE SOUTHERN FRIED ZOMBIES (2017)
Strictly for fun, Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies sticks with a simple plot—like most zombie films should.
A chemical is being sprayed on crops to kill an invasive vine. It infects people at a country fair. They turn into gnarly zombies. If they bite you, you turn.
The film kind of defies everything you’d expect from a “southern fried” movie. First of all, it’s a small hick town yet there are black people and interracial relationships EVERYWHERE.
I really think this pair should have had something going on. They’re so sexy together playing with their meat.
There’s also a completely open and out lesbian couple that kisses without any bashing beyond one dude making a comment that is quickly countered by another dude who likes what he’s seeing.
Look, I’ve never been to a hick town, but I know for a fact they sacrifice blacks and queers to their god and then hack them up and eat them for dinner…but only after all the men in town have an orgy with the corpses of all the male sacrifices.
I mean, this redneck daddy is so hot you just know he loves bashing fags…
Anyway, what I love about this film is that it dares to take place completely in daylight and totally pulls it off.
The zombies are cheesy awesome, some of them even grotesque, the gut munching and gore is a great blend of practical effects and fun CGI, and the humor is not dependent on comic lines but nuanced comic moments between the characters and the zombies.
The boys are cute, the lesbians kick ass, and even the mayor rox, smashing zombies with a guitar. He’s probably a repugnican, but I still like him. Hell, he even makes a Brokeback joke.
The only disappointment is the deceiving poster art…the cuties barely show off their guns in the movie! I’ve been duped!
ANOTHER WOLFCOP (2017)
It’s cameo heaven and they should have been the bad guys for the whole film.
Okay, my other favorite scene is when we get to see Wolfcop’s dick. Wolfcock…
This time around, a rich dude is opening a brewery, and Wolfcop and his friends discover that drinking the beer causes you to grow a monstrous talking dick.
There are some funny scenes when his best buddy suffers from the condition and can’t get his talking dick to shut up, but I actually think there’s a surprisingly missed opportunity to take these talking dicks to a totally different place.
Hell, I’d love to see a crossover movie in which the talking dicks get together with Bad Milo for a party in Wolfcop’s ass.
Kevin Smith has a brief cameo…
…there’s more wolf sex (only this time Wolfcop fucks a she wolf while he’s in human form)…
…and it’s sort of a Christmas flick that even opens with Twisted Sister’s rockin’ “O Come All Ye Faithful.”
There’s also a trip to the strip club (every exploitation flick has to have a strip trip) in which the ghoulish baddie of the film slaughters everyone.
The final showdown feels oddly like Michael J. Fox’s Teen Wolf basketball scene…on a hockey rink, especially with the faux 80s tune playing in the background.
There IS a talking penis breakout scene, but overall, I feel like Another Wolfcop was more subdued than the first film.
But sexy leading monster Leo Fafard will always keep me coming back for more hairy wolfcock.