STREAM QUEEN: summer is here, so it’s cabin in the woods time

Everyone is heading to that house in the middle of nowhere, all for different reasons. So let’s take a look at The Ranger, Come to Daddy, Captured, and The 6th Friend.

THE RANGER (2018)

In the tradition of The Stepfather and The Dentist, it’s The Ranger!

Teens at a punk rock concert flee when the place is raided, and then head to a cabin in the woods that belonged to main girl’s dead uncle.

The problem with a good chunk of this movie is that the five main kids are such pieces of shit you don’t care about any of them. Even the gay couple spooning together adorably isn’t enough to make you root for the pair to survive.

Not to mention, they’re an interracial gay couple in a slasher. How long do you really think they will survive? Either way, it lands this movie on my does the gay guy die? page.

The ranger’s kills are the most fun here, because they’re nice and gory.

The ranger’s lines aren’t quite as campy as they could be, but he is one creepy looking dude, and he sings Charlie Rich’s 1970s hit “The Most Beautiful a Girl” between kills. And by the end of the film, he is fricking craaaaaazy.

Shockingly, Larry Fessenden has a minor role in the film.

COME TO DADDY (2019)

Eh. This one got a lot of hype, but it goes from serious and boring as hell for exactly the first half, completely shifts tone to darkly comic with a great twist, and then becomes an absolute mess. And honestly, it’s not much of a horror movie, IMO.

Elijah Wood comes to the home of his estranged father after getting a letter from him. They have a lot of conversation to catch up, and then things go really wrong between them once again.

The surprise turn of events promises a much more intriguing film.

It sets Elijah on an unexpected, dangerous journey that had so many places to go, but instead it just goes to a sleazy hotel and feels more like a movie about falling in with the wrong crowd . What a disappointment.

CAPTURED (2020)

It’s a rock band documentary found footage slasher movie. I was expecting the usual rocker horror comedy, especially after the cool, animated intro set to an instrumental rock track. I always welcome the campy rock n’ roll slasher, but I was pleasantly surprised that this was instead a serious film with dark and grainy footage.

After interviews with some groupies/fans, the band heads to the female lead singer’s childhood farmhouse to make a music video.

Damn, the guys are sexy in this band…

Once they get to the farmhouse, the main girl begins acting uncomfortable, especially when objects and memories of her past start surfacing—particularly a mysterious mask.

Cue the killings! Once they start, it’s a thrill ride that is presented pretty dang effectively for a found footage slasher. The killer motivation is a little unexpected and off the wall, but at least it’s a bit different than the usual.

THE 6TH FRIEND (2016)

It’s rather refreshing to see a cabin in the woods slasher that consists entirely of females, but it is rather odd how flippantly and crassly this group of friends deals with female PTSD.

Once the girls gather at the cabin, we learn that the main girl is still struggling to get past something they all experienced five years before. She has nightmares and flashbacks about a masked man she believes is coming for them.

There’s a bit too much chatter, including a scene in which the girls have a shouting conversation through bedroom walls. I can’t comprehend how anyone would think a scene like this works.

Anyway, the film does finally become a somewhat exciting slasher, with the girls being chased and killed. It’s cool that this bunch of girls fights back, and there’s even a funny scene in which one girl gets heat for choosing a frying pan as a weapon.

Plenty of female drama and even a bizarre take on the pseudo celebrity of reality TV play into the plot as the girls fight to the death to survive. It’s definitely a good girl power ending, but I have a feeling most viewers will figure this one out before the big reveal.

 

 

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES. I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.
This entry was posted in Johnny You ARE Queer - Gay Thoughts, Movie Times & Television Schedules - Staying Entertained, Scared Silly - Horror Comedy, Sound Check - The Songs Stuck in My Head, The Evil of the Thriller - Everything Horror and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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