WrestleMassacre: he’s big and he’s hairy and he’ll tear your head off

The director of MILFs vs. Zombies goes full-on toxic masculinity with this pseudo slasher/exploitation flick. Sure there are plenty of muscle guys involved, but when a movie opens with a woman running naked through the woods, complete with a landing strip on display, you know the film is targeting the straight boys.

For a much tighter and better produced wrestler slasher, definitely check out Wrestlemaniac. Or make it a wrestling killer double feature, since WrestleMassacre delivers on the over-the-top gore and does include some silly, funny situations.

I would think that when your production is rockin’ the practical gore effects but has mostly non-actors, it would be best to focus on the strengths (the gore).

Unfortunately, WrestleMassacre runs way too long at 100 minutes and is filled with pointless, weak dialogue—and the poorly paced delivery is flat and awkward. At least twenty minutes of that nonsense could have been left out and still told the basic story: a wrestling fan treated like shit by everyone in his life snaps and begins killing them all.

That’s it in a nutshell. There are some other unnecessary sequences, including mock TV shows and commercials the killer watches, and there’s a bizarrely out of place appearance by a demon, but I guess they do establish the trashy indie vibe this film is going for.

It takes a long time to get past all that to the kills. The killer is inspired to go psycho after watching a televangelist on TV…who isn’t a big fan of abortion, gay marriage, or weed.

However you basically get just two massive montages of gory kills with no horror thrills in between, which is an odd way to present all the death scenes.

But like I said, there are some muscle boys, including horror hottie Jason John Beebe…

And this muscle man who sure knows how to arch that back…

Other highlights include one dude singing “Somebody’s Watching Me” as the killer approaches him from behind (awesome), a funny fight with the killer on a ladder…

…and some good 80s style horror music when the killer shows off his wrestling belt, a moment that feels like it could have been lifted from this film and placed in a more serious, darker horror film.

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES. I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.
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