When mainstream horror gets you down, video nasty Sculpture can get you back up

If you’re a fan of sick and sexy schlock with a dose of dark humor–and you also love men–then Sculpture will definitely satisfy. It takes me back to the days of direct-to-VHS low-budget horror that was gratuitously gross yet bizarrely erotic. But there’s a difference here. The nudity in Sculpture is predominantly ALL MALE hotness.

It’s everything David DeCoteau’s CW-esque horror films aren’t: violent and vile at times, loaded with blood, and dripping with machismo and testosterone. See, Sculpture was co-written by Marv Blauvelt, the hunky founder of Muscle Wolf Productions.

Marv also appears in the film briefly and made sure to cast a line-up of fricking studs. Plus, Alex Pucci, the director of “manly” movies like Frat House Massacre, is an executive producer. And Pete Jacelone, Alex’s partner at the homoerotic Scream Kings movie production company, is the director! This is one team that knows how to do sexy guys good….

Sculpture delivers campy comic moments along with whacked blood and bods. I’ve seen message board assumptions about the movie being more porn than horror. It is far from porn. While there is plenty of flesh, all you really see is the kind of straight sex you’d see in your standard slasher film.

Leading lady Raine Brown has quite the scream queen resume; I actually have her films Plasterhead and 100 Tears in my own collection. Here she plays a young female artist commissioned to create a male sculpture. So she turns to the local gym for inspiration. As she begins to lose her mind, the men begin to lose their pants (wahoo!), and then their limbs (oh the humanity!). Sculpture is a gay guy’s nightmare the way Pieces was probably a straight adolescent male nightmare in the 80s. But the conclusion of Sculpture is a much nastier delight.

The male beauties are a perfect assortment, including juiceheads, lean-muscled smoothies, and even more average cuties with fuzz on their chests and butts. Some of the most humorous moments in the film come from the banter between the differing body types at the gym. Even more show up in the deleted scenes on the DVD, along with a bloodier extended kill and more clips of hunky bodies. I say keep that good stuff in if you don’t have to answer to big producers! Misty Mundae appears in the film, and it’s also great to see indie horror moviemaker and thespian Alan Rowe Kelly in a more glamorous role for a change instead of covered in gore!

That’s all saved for the horror hunks of Sculpture. It’s campy, icky, and loaded with naked guys. I can’t help but have a soft spot (actually a hard spot) for movies like this, because I myself write novels filled with sex, horror, and humor. It’s definitely a refreshing break from mainstream sequels and remakes if, like me, you occasionally dabble in films that are a bit sleazy and gritty; the kinds of movies that make you feel so wrong afterwards.