Dusting off some of my multi-movie DVD sets so I can say I watched them and blogged about them, so here are quick thoughts on 3 each from two different boxed sets.
RED BLOODED AMERICAN GIRL (1990)
David Blythe, the director of Death Warmed Over and My Grandpa is a Vampire, gives us this silly sensual vampire flick that is the epitome of 1990 VHS “horror” for various reasons, such as:
- It features 2 stars 80s kids consider famous but who were virtually washed up from the day their careers started (Andrew Stevens and Heather Thomas).
- It features a star the parents of 80s kids knew before they were has-beens (Christopher Plummer).
- There are more boobs than blood because the vampire plot is just an excuse to get people naked. Like horror veteran Kim Coates, who shows off his ass.
- A classic horror legend is turned into a hokey underground science experiment, this time a concoction that causes vampirism.
- It includes at least one dance montage set to cheesy late 80s music, and at least one scene at a gym.
- If you look like a trashy hair band groupie, you’re a sexy vampiress
Heather Thomas pretty much steals the show as the trashy hair band gr—I mean, sexy vampiress. Her campy delivery is great, but she simply doesn’t get enough of it.
The movie takes itself too seriously for too long before finally giving in to its 1990 curse and just having fun.
NIGHT JUNKIES (2007)
It makes sense to include this on the same multi-film set as Red Blooded American Girl because they’re the perfect double feature, with similar erotic vampire romance themes.
Hot as hell Giles Alderson (Stalled, The Possession of David O’Reilly) is a vamp eating his way through the whores in town until he meets new girl Ruby. He falls in love with her and turns her just as her abusive pimp catches on to who is killing all his girls.
Things get silly and melodramatic as the vamp couple clashes over her being involuntarily dragged into the lifestyle, and they also garner a couple of vicious enemies.
I was just in it for the sexy scenes…including the one of the dude who likes getting pegged.
EVIL BEHIND YOU (2006)
This is how you ruin a perfectly bad multi-movie boxed set. I watch some pretty damn low budget indies, but it’s rare that my biggest problem with them is the acting. In this case, it’s really nails on a chalkboard all around and I couldn’t get past it.
Making matters worse, the film has us stuck in a room with the four nails…um…actors. They are 2 guys and 2 girls who don’t know how they got there. As outside forces fuck with them, watching them on monitors, they each remember flashbacks of their sins, one guy spends the movie screaming that he sees something coming for him, the other guy calmly says he can see them, too, and the girls scream that they don’t see anything.
Eventually, transparent demons come into play to reveal that we’ve been bamboozled and this is a fricking religious thriller.
If the theme of your religious film is about immoral people paying for their sins, perhaps you shouldn’t sell it out to a DVD set with two films about horny, druggy vampires.
Of course, being all holier than thou, Evil Behind You is naturally homoerotic…with some evil behind…you…and on top of you…
One guy’s nightmare is another guy’s wet dream…
Brian Krause, our lovable Leo from Charmed, plays a doctor feverishly working on a cure for AIDS, but not always in the most ethical way, which causes him to lose one of his child patients…after the child bites him in a fit of rage.
Soon after, Brian begins to experience strange occurrences and hallucinations. He also takes a shower.
The film is rather slow moving as it deals with him unraveling as he desperately tries to figure out where his experiment went wrong…while he starts to show signs of being sick.
Then…all of a sudden…the film turns zombie! I’m not even kidding.
The last half hour or so is full-on zombie action as Brian and those he infects go around town chomping on people!
It’s a kind of interesting change of pace for a zombie flick, even if it isn’t the most exciting film for the majority of its running time.
GREY SKIES (2010)
What sets this one apart from most indie cabin in the woods alien abduction flicks is that there’s a gay couple, and they’re so part of the gang that no one flinches when they kiss.
Other than that, it’s the usual character development and drama as they hang out, party, and have sex.
Then they see something streak across the sky at night and go to check it out. One of them goes missing, then shows up again…then another one goes missing…then shows up again…and then the alien fun starts!
Unfortunately, this is like 55 minutes into the movie.
Why don’t I ever stumble upon man butt in the woods?
Oh, right. Because i won’t go in the woods.
Even so, the last half hour is alientastic as the gang is chased around the woods, and those who are abducted come back sort of as the aliens’ zombie minions.
There’s also a rather nasty probe scene…and it’s not anal. Or should I say…because it’s not anal…
ALL GOD’S CREATURES (2011)
In the tradition of serial killer movies like American Psycho, this quirky indie follows a psycho barista with sexy pits who lures girls to his apartment at night, brutally murders them, then keeps their body parts in jars.
Erotic, bloody kills abound as he narrates his inner thoughts.
But his lifestyle of emulating his hero, Ted Bundy, is derailed when a feisty young woman walks into his coffee shop one day and asserts herself on him, not taking no for an answer.
As he becomes enthralled with her, little does he know she has some secrets of her own.
While the plot doesn’t take us very far and you could practically guess where it’s going to lead, there’s something oddly endearing about this strange little movie, in large part because of the charisma of the two leads…and some really enticing setup shots.