STREAM QUEEN: gettin’ witchy with it

I’m always up for a good witch bitch in a horror movie, so let’s find out if the witches in these three films cast a spell over me.

GHOST IN THE GRAVEYARD (2019)

This one immediately caught my eye because we used to play Ghost in the Graveyard on my block during the summer. It’s an awesome game in which the person who is “it” has to hide, then everyone must look for them. The person that finds them has to scream out “ghost in the graveyard!”, which is the signal for everyone else to run to home base before the ghost can get them.

It’s such a great game when played in the dark utilizing an entire street, but it really sux when you’re at one corner and someone finds the ghost at the far corner, because you then have to race to the home base steps in the middle of the block before the ghost can intercept you.

While failing to really explain the game, the movie still starts strong. Children are playing the game in an actual graveyard when something awful happens…something that will haunt them a decade later. It kind of made me wish something awful had happened when we played on my street so we could be haunted by something during a block reunion today.

Anyway, that seems to be the premise, but this movie quickly veers completely away from the game having any relevance whatsoever. Instead we get a witchy woman hunting down the main girl and her family, led by Jake Busey. When he gives a speech to his son about a battle between good and evil they must fight to save his sister, I really lost interest, although there is one awesome visual moment in the graveyard where the battle takes place. Plus, actress Maria Olsen who has a substantial horror resume, plays a witch like nobody’s business.

A RESURRECTION (2013)

Pumpkinhead meets Pet Sematary meets Sometimes They Come Back in a supernatural horror film that starts as a slow burn then amps up to a frenzied suspense flick. There are plenty of familiar faces on hand, including Devon Sawa of Final Destination fame, Mischa Barton, and Michael Clarke Duncan.

A bullied boy believes that a witch has cast a spell to bring back his brother, who was killed in a hit and run. So when the boy gets trapped in the school with his bullies, it is the golden opportunity for his brother’s spirit to come do some soul searching!

Despite the obvious concept, the film manages to keep us guessing—are there really supernatural forces at play, or is someone killing off the small group of people trapped in the school?

There are some good scares, tense atmosphere, and surprisingly gory moments. However, there is one aspect of the film that isn’t quite clarified enough, and the hubba hubba and I had to talk it out for five minutes after the film ended to make sense of it.

THE HAG OF BLACK HOWE MOOR (2008)

I won’t deny that because it’s so rare to see it, blatant use of a witch that looks like she could start cackling and stirring her cauldron at any second always scores extra points with me.

The setup is simple. Some guys get stuck on the side of the road and a group of girls picks them up. They make a pit (and piss) stop in the wrong place, and once they’re back on the road some seriously freaky shit starts happening, including one of the best scenes, involving a girl and a dead sheep.


Haggy likes the heinies!

The meat of the movie has the group trapped in a derelict cottage being terrorized by the awesome hag. The problem is, they’re basically stuck in a single space experiencing one terror attack after another, and it just feels like watching kids reactions in a goofy haunted house attraction.

That part I could have lived with in all its low budget glory, but…ugh. There’s also a flashback period piece segment showing the hag being tried back for witchcraft in the old days. It feels even cheesier than the rest of the film, however it most definitely ups the witch theme cred of the film.

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES. I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.
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