Sometimes, it’s all about the zombies

Zombie Night is directed by John Gulager, the man behind the Feast trilogy (and Piranha 3DD). It also stars 80s icons Anthony Michael Hall, Alan Ruck, and Daryl Hannah. And it brings fricking Shirley Jones into the zombie genre. Yes, Shirley Jones of The Partridge Family. And yet the zombies are still the best part of the movie.

Zombie Night is one of those awesome movies that simply throws us into the middle of the zombie outbreak with no real explanation except for a little mention of it on a TV and radio. Anthony Michael Hall and his daughter are driving home when they decide to take a shortcut…through a cemetery. This begins an hour and a half of Anthony Michael Hall standing around making stupid faces whenever he’s not busy making the dumbest decisions ever. I particularly love when he tells his daughter to run past the zombies in the cemetery to the light in the distance and then takes off, leaving her in the dust.

Meanwhile, Anthony’s wife Daryl Hannah is home with her blind mother, Shirley Jones, trying to keep zombies out of the house. Daryl also spends her time standing around making stupid faces when she’s not busy making the dumbest decisions ever, like putting her blind mother in the basement next to a lit lantern to keep her safe….

Meanwhile, the neighbors, headed by patriarch Alan Ruck, call and tell Daryl she and her family should get to their house asap since they have a safe room. At the same time, they’re dealing with a crazy nanny who thinks the world is getting what it deserves. So they lock the bitch in a room by herself.

Zombie Night is a story of two well-off white suburban families trying to survive a zombie outbreak. To add some diversity, a black chick breaks in to Daryl Hannah’s house. I’m not even kidding. Once Anthony Michael Hall and his daughter arrive home and he starts dragging his family around to keep them safe from the zombies with the black chick in tow, you know it’s just a matter of time before she’s going to be relieved of her obligatory diversity duties…by providing us with an obligatory gut munch scene.

Aside from the many stupid moves the characters make, there are some laughable situations. Everyone seems to be a perfect shot with a gun. For no explainable reason, a car blows up…and provides the only bad special effect in the whole movie. They enter a mortuary and find…a huge sword to use as a weapon! WTF?

Like I said, there is barely a smart decision in the movie (you have to see them to believe them), but it doesn’t even matter. The zombies look awesome, there’s gore, and it is nonstop zombie insanity from start to finish.