Sodomite serial killer vs. the fierce and fabulous blood sucker

I look at two completely different movies with one thing in common. Beware the blood hungry monsters who also crave man ass in Someone’s Knocking at the Door and Vamperifica!

SOMEONE’S KNOCKING AT THE DOOR (2009)

Sex, sodomy, drug trips, and crass comedy. It’s exploitation time with Someone’s Knocking at the Door. When the friend of a bunch of drug-loving medical students is anally raped to death by a huge penis, well, they don’t really care because they’re too busy doing drugs and having sex.

Turns out they’re actually being hunted down one by one by a dead male/female serial killer team that has somehow returned from the 1970s…and still looks dead. This is one swinging serial killer couple. The zombie/demon man kills his male victims by ass fucking them with his huge appendage, while the zombie/demon female has a taste for the girls. Actually, they have a taste for her considering she kills them by shoving their entire heads up her va-jay-jay.

Aside from the inexplicable black face at a funeral, the majority of the offensive stuff is aimed at masculinity. The cops do shaming penis checks to make sure none of the friends could be the killer. And the most homophobic friend of the bunch makes endless derogatory gay remarks about their friend who was ass-fucked to death…and then throws his legs in the air to get pegged by a hot chick.

Are you man enough to have someone knocking at your door?

VAMPERIFICA (2012)

This is one odd little vampire comedy. A gay bald college kid who can’t land an acting job is being pursued by a male and female vampire team…that tries to convince him there’s the soul of a vampire king living within him. So basically, there’s a king in a queen?

It doesn’t take long for the power to get to the gay guy’s head, which leads to tensions with his two best friends—a cute straight guy and the chick from Don’t Trust the B— in Apartment 23 (not the B, the other one). He does his best not to feast on either of them, but everyone else is up for grabs.

There are some parallels drawn between being gay and being a vampire—hiding it, fearing the loss of friends when they know you’re truth, rejecting hetero relations, accepting who you are…you know the drill.

While Vamperifica is quirky and has its moments of humor, horror (the finale slaughter scene is bloody good), and even a musical number (the gay vampire sings), it’s not as endearing as it could be because our gay leading man is so fricking obnoxious and unlikable. He only won me over momentarily when he brought a straight male victim home and listed all the gay things he would not be doing to him.

Oh…and his male vampire buddy is HOT.