Oh granny, what a big axe you have!

killgrannykill coverKill, Granny, Kill! is how you do an indie backwoods Bible-thumping killer granny movie! Don’t take it seriously, but don’t make it all-out comedy. Just make everything that happens so wrong it’s right…and kind of funny.

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Out at her old farmhouse, sweet Granny, played perfectly by actress Donna Swensen (who could be anyone’s darling grandmother), spends her time killing people and using their flesh for both crafting nice pocketbooks and for making a manwich a meal.

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Helping her out is her cute as hell grandson, played by T.J. Pack, who needs to make more horror films immediately (and appear shirtless in them as he does here).

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So anyway, granny runs an ad for a home aid, which is answered by Abby. Playing the part is actress Alicia M. Clark, who makes me want to see her film The Killbillies asap…as does the title. Alicia is a natural as a low-budget scream queen. She’s on her way, with movies like Past Due, and The Hospital 1 & 2 under her belt already.

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Granny hires Abby and is upfront with her from the start. She hates swearing, hates sex, hates the male anatomy…yet loves the taste of it, loves the Bible, and loves killing (okay, she’s not upfront about all of that).


It doesn’t take long for Abby to start feeling uncomfortable about her new job, especially when she’s confronted with granny’s creepy as hell doll collection and racist mammy figurines. But despite the possibility of scoring a really odd grandmother-in-law, Abby wants the grandson to plow her field almost as much as I do.

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The deaths in Kill, Granny, Kill! are bloody violent. The sex and nudity is old school delicious, with plenty of full frontal, both male and female. There’s a Golden Girls crack (in its hick Golden Gals pronunciation), there are some minor fart and shit gross outs, and granny knows no boundaries…she even kills and eats little kids. Wahoo!

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On top of that, the film gives heavy nods to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Psycho (the general structure of the plot especially mirrors that of Psycho). Not to mention, it being redneck central, there’s more than one hairy shirtless bear (one even dances while playing with his tits).

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Plus, there’s even a brief scene in which we learn granny hates the gays. A news report on television offers a brief, heartfelt cry from one gay victim’s boyfriend, a cameo by horror b-king Shawn C. Phillips!

Kill, Granny, Kill! is an instant fave for me. As soon as the streaming session came to a close, I ordered the DVD. This is a perfect party movie.

killgrannykill with grandson

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES. I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.
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