Wahoo! This is one of the most satisfying triple features I’ve watched in a while, delivering cheap horror thrills with no annoying elevation to get in the way. Let’s take a look at this trio.
PHANTOM FUN-WORLD (2023)
I’m a fan of director Tory Jones’s Halloween slasher The Wicked One in part due to its unpolished, indie look and feel, but I wasn’t loving the sequel or the follow-up film They See You.
He’s now back with a simple, sleek slasher that is tightly executed and perfect for anyone who just needs a basic slasher fix.
Years ago there was a major massacre at Phantom Fun-World, a sort of indoor amusement park.
It was closed down but is now reopening. Our main girl gets a job there, and then the killing starts.
We get a masked killer, loads of horror lighting, plenty of violent and gory kills using practical effects, a backstory about the first massacre, a brief appearance by Ari Lehman (the original young Jason Voorhees), a sex scene with a cute shirtless guy, a juicy chase sequence, and a big final battle.
This one has me looking forward to the next Tory Jones horror flick.
THE TANK (2023)
This is as straightforward as a creature feature gets. A man inherits a home in an isolated location from his deceased mother. He brings his wife and daughter to check it out, and they discover it’s a dump.
They also discover a trapdoor to an old water tank. So for no logical reason at all, the husband climbs into it.
And then he keeps going back to explore the depths of it…for no reason at all. See? Despite what conservatives will have you believe about the emasculation of men, they’re still pig-headed buffoons controlled by their toxic masculinity.
Eventually, something comes up from the tank. The first monster appearance isn’t until 40 minutes into the movie, and the body count is wicked low. Like two bodies low. More bodies and kills would have salvaged the first half of the film.
Is this what they didn’t show us in the movie Teeth?
Having said that, it is fun to watch the wife turn into the protector of the family, taking on the cool creatures in the final act, a sequence that really delivers and saves the movie.
THE CONFERENCE (2023)
It’s a campground slasher with adults instead of teens! Awesome.
Is there a storyline? Sure, it’s all about a company’s employee retreat and the building of a controversial shopping center. Sounds like a reason for someone to want to don a mask and kill off the company’s employees. Right?
None of that really matters, because this is all about the slasher elements from start to finish.
As the coworkers on the retreat delve into office politics (in their cabins), there are occasional, kick ass kills sprinkled throughout.
The death scenes are a blast. There are several chases, death by huge hammer, a hot tub kill, a unique zip line scene, a scalp peel, an awesome final fight, and even some man booty, landing this one on the stud stalking page.
The Conference is the perfect way to just shut off your mind and have fun.
