This was quite an enjoyable triple feature for me, and—BONUS!—each film pulled off the fun in 85 minutes or less.
THE LAST VIDEO STORE (2023)
This 78-minute horror comedy is a love letter to the bygone era of video stores and those that still lament the loss. More specifically, those of us who used to work at a video store. It is a total 80s nostalgia trip in style, substance, script, and score, with a touch of heart and a totally quirky, 80s sci-fi/horror vibe.
We meet the owner of one of the last video stores. In comes a lone customer returning old video tapes. Her facial expressions throughout the movie are one of its humor highlights.
The owner tries to get her to appreciate the joy of videos by popping in one of the movies she returned. Turns out it’s a cursed video tape, and it begins unleashing the horrors contained on the tape into the store, beginning with an alien creature.
The owner and customer discover they are trapped in the store—first with the alien creature and then with a backwoods killer—and must take these threats on to stay alive.
The horrors are presented with practical effects, and eventually our main characters extract a hunky b-movie hero from the video to help them survive. He’s delicious. Delic-ass, even.
There’s also a cool final boss situation, and I actually wish the movie had been a little longer and featured at least one more throwback horror monster.
Even so, it’s straight up retro fun from start to finish, and the conclusion is a nod to those who just can’t let go of the past and their longing for the video rental days.
MARK OF THE WEREWOLF (2024)
Quirky, self-aware acting and editing give this one the perfect B-movie feel, and the practical effects, colorful horror lighting, and hokey hairy werewolf costume make it 80s throwback bliss. Add an array of subplots, and it’s messy, camptastic fun from beginning to end.
Our main girl is a model who travels with a team to a cabin in the woods for a photo shoot. Turns out this cabin is built on ground that is sacred to a cult. So, the leader of the cult enlists a witch to conjure a werewolf to take care of the intruders.
No time is wasted in introducing the werewolf, which looks great drenched in red and blue light and haloed by mist. He mutilates people indiscriminately, with plenty of satisfying blood, gore, and fake body parts.
There’s also sex and nudity as the group at the cabin parties and hooks up before getting slaughtered. Awesome.
More characters are introduced to up the body count, which is where the movie begins to falter. A large group suddenly appears after a scene change, and there’s absolutely no clarification of who they are or why they are there.
The final fight between the main girl, her new man (who has a nice axe), and the werewolf and witch is funny, but instead of tying up the plot, the movie goes off the rails a bit, leading to a confusing conclusion that seemed to be trying too hard to be different Or perhaps we’ll get a sequel?
WITNESS INFECTION (2020)
It’s a mobzomcom, and it has an adorable leading man, some playful humor, and nasty, skin-stretching carnage created with practical effects.
The opening is rather bizarre. Two totally different types of guys are hunting together when a lone zombie situation occurs.
We then meet our main cutie. His dad is a mobster, and to keep the peace, he demands his son marry the daughter of another mob family.
Zombies get in the way of that. It can be deduced that eating a certain food is causing people to turn into zombies…after they suffer from a lot of gas. The reason for the infection is definitely underdeveloped, for even when it’s explained how the infection originated near the end of the film, it’s not really explained how the infection was born or why it turned people into zombies, so you just have to go with it.
This isn’t a movie with nonstop laughs, but the cast is totally charismatic, and the actors know their comic timing and delivery, which makes all the difference. The zombie scenes are fantastic, but there’s a lull in the middle of the movie before the infected action really kicks in, which does slow down the pace for a while, but it’s worth the wait.
The plot is basic. Members of each family begin turning into zombies with nasty pustules on their faces, and it’s up to the uninfected to stay alive. Our main trio of survivors eventually joins forces with a Cleopatra Jones type who drops plenty of meta lines.
Like I said, the events that unfold are nothing new. They battle zombies at the home of one mob family before doing the same at the home of the other mob family. Despite the blood, guts, and some toilet humor, this one really doesn’t push boundaries, so it’s an easy watch that feels more like horror comedy lite.
