When Girls Gone Dead showed up on cable, I had no expectations. I’d ignored numerous suggestions to add it to my cart while buying other slashers on Amazon. It looked like it would probably be a worse no-budget slasher than the worst of the no-budget slashers I love.
Turns out, I fricking added the DVD to my amazon shopping cart as soon as I finished watching it. Girls Gone Dead is a pretty polished piece of poo! It’s got Ron Jeremy. It’s got wrestling dude Jerry Lawler. It’s got Beetlejuice of the Howard Stern show. It’s got Linnea Quigley—who is making a career as any slasher character other than the hot young naked chick these days.
It also has two leading ladies who look like the poor man’s Tara Reid. Is there such thing as a poor man’s Tara Reid? Anyway, it makes for some confusing moments having TWO Tara Reid knockoffs running around. Especially since no one can live up to Tara’s amazing performance during her chase scene in Urban Legend.
So the plot. This Tara Reid knockoff with a religious mom is planning on her first slutty get away with all her trashy gal pals. They stay in a beach house owned by the parents of this other Tara Reid knockoff. They get naked. They’re sliced up by a masked, robed killer with a battle axe. Awesome. Oh yeah. There are also loads of misogynistic moments, most coming from a “Girls Gone Wild” Joe Francis type dude who has no respect for the female body (I hurled the popcorn I was eating right back into the bowl when he talked about “piss flaps.”).
One of the best things about Girls Gone Dead is the fricking gory kills. Very impressive. Another thing—the “Go Hammerheads” cheerleader theme song. Amazing. The movie also delivers an actual Scream-esque, “who-really-dunit?” ending. Meanwhile, the scariest part is definitely the uncountable number of woman parts bombarding the camera. While I didn’t expect ANY male anatomy to be on display going into this (and I got just what I didn’t expect), the leading man is very cute.
Girls Gone Dead is an absolute must for any frat boy party. Straight dudes will love it. And anyone who likes the Slumber Party/Sorority House Massacre movies I’ve blogged about in the past will be impressed that a movie finally skanked up the concept to the level it deserves.