Don’t Go to the Reunion: a retro throwback to retro throwbacks

With the 20-year anniversary of Scream coming up, It was inevitable that a generation of filmmakers would start making movies celebrating the late-90s slasher reboot era just like Kevin Williamson was celebrating the 80s generation of slashers when he wrote Scream.

Don’t Go to the Reunion is not trying to break new ground; it’s paying homage to slashers that paid homage to slashers. It’s all fun and familiar, right down to the 80s-inpired synth score. Sticking to tradition, a group of kids does something cruel to a fellow student in high school. Flash-forward 10 years and they’re all sent invitations to a reunion at a questionable location….

Don’t Go to the Reunion takes self-referential slashers to a new level, featuring a Randy-esque horror geek who endlessly name-drops—and not just the obvious horror films. This is for hardcore horror lovers. The film even admits it is not only celebrating the 80s slashers, but the 90s resurgence.

Director Steve Goltz has slasher techniques down, from lighting and camera angles to killer POV and pacing. In fact, it’s so tight it only runs an hour and 10 minutes! But there are two crucial slasher staples missing: an iconic killer mask and a chase scene. An effective, suspenseful chase scene with the final girl could have greatly enhanced this already fun slasher and given it at least an hour and fifteen minute runtime.

Now for the body count…the MAN body count! We get hot guys and the magnificent bare buns of beefy delicious Mike Goltz, who I assume is related to director Steve Goltz. There’s also plenty of gay innuendo. One homophobic hottie has a funny exchange with two of his friends who think he actually loves dick (we never do find out for sure). And Mike Goltz has an “I like your finger in my butt but I’m not gay” moment. Unfortunately, what he thinks is a finger is actually a fireplace poker.

To see another male victim getting it in the butt, as well as Mike showing off his meaty pecs, check out director Steve Goltz’s stylish slasher short called “Teddy.” He also has another slasher short called “Popularity Killer.” This one does have an eerie masked killer, and my man Mike is back and looking grizzly brawny good in facial scruff and flannel.

And finally, in Steve’s short film “Blood Brothers,” Mike sports a goatee. The great news is, all three shorts are included on the Don’t Go to the Reunion DVD that you can order directly from Slasher Studios.