Vampires, serial killers, deadly fantasies, and even some gay guys, which lands them on my does the gay guy die? page. Let’s get into what you can expect from these four films.
FANTASY ISLAND (2020)
Much like the original series from the 1970s, Fantasy Island is essentially an anthology film with a wraparound about a handful of people that comes to the island to live out some wild or unthinkable fantasy. And just like the show, a majority of these stories are flat, and only one truly feels like horror.
Mr. Roarke welcomes them after they meet…a Black female Tattoo? Okay, she’s not named Tattoo, which will irk purists, but stick around until the end and you’ll get your Tattoo fix.
The stories include:
- two brothers, one straight and white the other gay and Asian, who want to just “live the life”, partying in style with sexy women/hunky men, respectively
- a woman who wants to go back and live the life she was meant to live with the man that got away
- a dude who wants to play army
- a young woman who wants to torture the girl that tormented her in high school
Most of the stories end up having a whole lot of gun shootouts, and only the bullied girl story turns into a scary psycho killer chase. The good news for the rest of the stories is that eventually they all overlap and everyone is chased by the psycho killer. There’s a sort of silly turn of events that ties all the tales together, but the merging of the stories definitely saves the whole viewing experience.
Kind of weird to make a story about a pedophile/killer into a dark horror comedy, but that’s exactly what you get here, set to an awesome part 1960s psychedelic rock/part 1980s new wave soundtrack.
This big slovenly dude abducts teenage girls, chains them up in a bedroom, and then uses a webcam system to live out sexual fantasies with them from another room.
When he abducts a teen played by Ashley Johnson, who to me will always be DJ’s overbearing little girlfriend on an episode of Roseanne, she amuses him by acting out his fantasies, like the football player and cheerleader scenario and the high school prom date scenario.
Meanwhile, her parents and brother don’t feel like the police are doing enough to find her, so they take matters into their own hands…they plan to find him and get closure using any torture necessary.
It’s entertaining, with lots of gore and torture, plenty of quirky and edgy humor, and a great cast. Whether you’ll like it just depends on your feelings about the subject matter.
FANGED UP (2017)
This prison vampire comedy comes from Christian James, the director of Stalled and Freak Out, both of which I have in my collection, so apparently I’m a fan. And with this midnight movie I’d say he just keeps getting better.
A bad boy is transported to a prison, is befriended by a big Russian inmate, also befriends a sweet Black inmate, and discovers that his ex-girlfriend is the in-house doctor!
They learn pretty soon that the prison is being overrun by vampires. It’s time to make a serious prison break…if they can survive the night.
This is pure campy fun, with plenty of humor, buckets of blood, a lovable gay character, and goofy cool vampires that are as wacky as Evil Ed from Fright Night—especially the big boss bitch in the final battle.
A SERIAL KILLER’S GUIDE TO LIFE (2019)
These “portrait of a serial killer” dark comedy movies just never work out for me, and I should really just stop watching them and blogging about them, because I’m obviously not the right audience.
Therefore, I’ll make this one short. A doormat woman goes to a life coach for help. They become close, they go on a nature therapy retreat, and eventually the doormat discovers the life coach is a serial killer.
So she starts helping with the murders…50 minutes into this 80-minute movie! Ugh. And if you don’t assume the killer eventually turns on her apprentice, then you need to watch more movies. I really did not find this one funny or entertaining at all.