And now for something completely different from Chip Gubera, director of the horror musical Song of the Dead. Actually, since that 2005 film, everything Gubera has made seems pretty unique. Unfortunately, he hasn’t done enough in terms of full-length films. There were two campy horror/wrestling movies that I kind of want to see now, because Chip just does whatever the frick he wants, playing by no horror rules or market expectations. Even Slasher.com, which seems like it’s going to be one of the most predictable backwoods torture porns ever, melts the mold.
The intro definitely sets a tone, with a black and white kill scene, reports of cyber dating murders, and raids on people having sex.
This establishes our concerns for the young main couple. They meet face to face for the first time after hooking up online. Their first date is…a weekend at a cabin in the woods! They pick up a key to the place from the couple that owns it, played by Texas Chainsaw II’s Leatherface R.A. Mihailoff (Pumpkinhead II, Revamped, Dark House, Krampus: The Devil Returns) and Jewel Shepard of Return of the Living Dead (the new waver that wasn’t Linnea Quigley).
The couple also has a pervy daughter.
You know a guy’s straight when doll parts and boobs
don’t send him running and screaming back to the city.
Things get very No Vacancy, with the couple having some fun sexy times and clearly being filmed.
Any you know where it’s leading when the weird owner brings them some goodies to eat and drink. It was the main guy shirtless that kept me watching, even after the couple fed him a spoonful of some other guy’s…well, let’s just say this is one kinky couple that is into everything.
If daddy would just dump his bitch, he and our main man could make Mapplethorpe magic together.
The shocker is, if you tune out the screams, the movie is not about the torture, but the main guy’s attempts to escape his captors and get help…in his undies. Delicious.
Unfortunately for the people the main guy runs into along the way, there’s some fun gore.
But at least the last thing they get to see is a cutie in his black boxer briefs.
Our main guy makes some pretty smart decisions and puts up a damn good fight under horrific circumstances.
Then suddenly, things get unexpectedly campy before a whole lot of totally fricking awesome surprises are tossed in during the final act.
A movie in which a hottie runs around in his undies and wrestles a murderous daddy bear, leading to a devilish climax? Now that’s my kind of backwoods horror.
