Note that if you are going to watch Dude Bro Party Massacre III on Blu-ray and would rather not have that 80s shot-on-video grindhouse look (the movie is presented as having been a lost film), go to the special features for the full HD version (playfully listed as “restored in HD”). But note that both versions are presented in classic tube TV full screen, not widescreen.
And if you are wondering what happened to Dude Bro Party Massacre 1&2, well, you kind of missed the joke.
Even so, the first five minutes of the film could be considered a recap of either or both parts. A guy is telling his psychiatrist about the time all his frat buddies were massacred by their housemother (along with fricking Larry King in a cameo).
This is essentially an abbreviated slasher consisting strictly of uber-gory and funny kills by the hideous “Mother Face” killer (who kind of looks like the drag zombie from the 1988 crap classic The Newlydeads).
The twin of one victim arrives at the frat house to investigate what actually happened to his brother. He immediately meets the various eccentric frat boys, amongst them a weirdo with homosexual tendencies, a dude who likes to paddle his lone pledge’s bare ass…
and a hunk who looks eerily like Bruce Jenner, circa 1979.
There’s even a hairy cub/pretty boy couple sunbathing on campus, and I kid not, the pretty boy is fricking Sweets from the TV show Bones! Unfortunately, these two gaybies are not in the frat, so their appearance is brief (and Speedo).
Due to some bad behavior, the frat boys are suspended, and forced by their Dean—iconic adult film star Nina Hartley, who looks great and totally rules in her brief performance—to go stay in an old house by a lake.
The police chief—Patton Oswalt of The King of Queens—sends a male/female cop duo to trail them, offering a side story focusing on their shenanigans.
A good stretch of the movie plays out more like a series of campy skits than an actual narrative. There are even brief “commercial” interruptions throughout, which add nothing to the film—although the goal appears to be comic value. These should have been the first thing cut to help trim the running time (a horror comedy like this is better off running an hour and twenty minutes instead of an hour and forty minutes).
Highlights of the bulk of the movie include the obvious 80s setting (the clothes, the boom box, a commercial for a collection of hair band hits), a “Clean It Up” song montage, the hot Jenner dude shirtless, the main twin guy doing naked Tai Chi (he’s not alone)…
and the lone pledge of the group wearing a box with a glory hole. While there are flirtations with gay undertones (I’m sure the straight guys watching hurled a few times), this sausage fest horror flick ends up being a lot less gay than actual frat life, something that should have been exploited in a film like this. I know it looks like it is, but…hey, that’s my job.
The final act makes up for the disappointing lack of faggotry because…it’s Mother Face gone wild! The ghoulish bitch is back, spouting one-liners as she finds very inventive, bloody, and often just plain weird ways to kill off all the boys. Meanwhile, some seriously trippy side situations take the film from slapstick to absurd, including dead bodies sinking into underwater scenes in the lake, and the two cops getting ejected into the air and flying through the universe. Thankfully, a musical number they sing during this moment was left on the cutting room floor (it’s included in the deleted scenes on the disc if you must see it).
Things play out like a good old slasher for a while (yay!) before landing once again in the bizarr-o zone when the main twin guy confronts Mother Face. Okay, it’s kind of funny when all the frat brothers “enter” the twin, but other than that and a hulking, shirtless muscle hunk suddenly, supernaturally appearing on the scene (okay, this film is pretty damn gay), I can’t say that I was particularly feeling the conclusion.
It was totally out there and didn’t answer any nagging questions I shouldn’t even be asking when watching a slasher called Dude Bro Party Massacre III…. Best bet now would be for the filmmakers to go back to the drawing board—to make parts 1 & 2!