When the alien is more than an Endangered Species

Actually, the alien on the front of the DVD case for the film Endangered Species is more like extinct, because it isn’t even the alien in the film. This sci-fi action flick from 2003 was written and directed by Kevin S. Tenney, who already had the franchises like Night of the Demons and Witchboard behind him.

Endangered Species feels more like a pilot movie for a campy TV show for the SyFy Network. It also feels like a direct-to-VHS movie from the 1986-89 period, because it patterns itself after movies like Terminator and The Hidden. Mysterious alien comes to earth in search of something, killing anything in its path.

It’s definitely not what you’d expect from the guy who brought us Night of the Demons. Some of it looks like it was shot on video. The effects are cheesy bad. The dialogue is sitcom stupid—conversations about plants, dogs, breast implants, Superman vs. Mighty Mouse—yet actually kind of funny. Definitely television show material, almost reminding me of the boys’ banter on Supernatural.

What isn’t made for TV is the nudity. In the first five minutes, there are huge bazongas and two good old-fashioned bushy va-jay-jays! It really feels like the 1980s again! Plus, Eric Roberts, who plays the main detective in the film, has a couple of gratuitous sex scenes with his wife (his kids even walking in on a BJ).

MUMMY BADDY LOOKING GOODY

It’s the performances, especially those of Eric, John Rhys-Davies, and The Mummy baddy Arnold Vosloo, that make this ridiculous movie entertaining. There’s a massacre at a strip club and a slaughter at a gym, a battle in a police station, a car chase scene, and a chase on foot. Yet the most exciting part of all of this is the goofy interactions between the characters. There are also absurd dreams about a ridiculous looking T-Rex. WTF?

It’s bad. It’s really bad. It’s laugh-out-loud funny. Wait until you see what happens to John Rhys-Davies. Eric Roberts taking cover behind an alien. The unmasking of the monster. The invisible truck. The special alien glasses. And even a puppy for the perfect happy ending!

I really wish this had become a series….