Gnome Alone – the Mini-Me monster

Move aside Leprechaun. There’s a new little monster in town. It’s Verne Troyer! In Gnome Alone, Verne gets to pretend to act like he’s a pervy creep when he’s really just being the same guy he was on The Surreal Life.

But seriously, Verne is fantastic in Gnome Alone. I was really expecting bad, Full Moon quality campy crap, but Gnome Alone, despite its cheeky name, takes itself pretty seriously as a horror film yet still delivers some tasty exploitation.

The oddest thing about the movie is that they even bring a Leprechaun into the backstory. Sure, they’re acknowledging the similarity to the popular little green monster franchise, but Gnome Alone is a way better horror experience that does itself an injustice by lowering itself to Leprechaun standards for even a moment.

The intro combines live action with some great artwork to narrate the story of how the Gnome came to be. Let’s just say it involves revenge and a couple of hot naked witches rolling around in mud.

Then we’re off to modern times. A homeless lady passes her lucky charm/curse on to a convenience store worker who just can’t get a break—her mom’s a drunk, she’s not popular at school, and her dad is an abusive perv. That curse is having an evil little gnome as a sort of guardian angel. See where this is going?

Gnome Alone is surprisingly brutal and gory, with some S&M sex scenes thrown in for good measure. There’s plenty of bizarre shit going on, like a lipstick lesbian college professor who seduces/sexually harasses her female students, and a prick of a corrupt police officer played by Erik Aude, who is great in the part—not to mention wicked sexy. He was also in a segment of The ABCs of Death.

The entire cast is pretty damn good for a b-movie. Top-notch performances all around. Hot hot cast both male and female. Special effects that don’t look like low-budget garbage. The pace slows down in the middle, but the fact that Gnome Alone isn’t the throwaway little monster killer campfest you’d expect is a hugely satisfying surprise. This is a full-on horror flick.

And that’s due in large part to our killer. Although Verne has some one-liners, there’s nothing particularly funny about the film or his performance. Nothing cute here. He plays a truly nasty gnome with a really psychotic edge. He’s quite disturbing in the role. It’s actually uncomfortable to watch him seeming to be lost in thought, relishing the horrible stuff he’s doing…especially in the scene where he has his way with a blonde babe who is tied to a bed and blindfolded.

And keeping with the dark tone of the film, the final twist is fricking awesome. This is definitely not your usual tidy Leprechaun ending. Gnome Alone rules, but sadly, I’m pretty sure the dickishness that is the Internet (aka: everybody) won’t be kind to the film.