It was a smorgasbord of streaming services and subgenres with this trio of films I was looking forward to seeing, so let’s get right into them.
GRIMCUTTY (2022)
Throwback time! The retro early 2000s tween horror wave is growing, and Grimcutty goes in hard, with kids being terrorized by a supernatural entity after passing around a meme faster than you can get a friend to watch a video of a girl climbing from a well.
Grimcutty is a damn memorable name for this internet monster, and his look is unforgettable, too…because it’s as funny as it is freaky. His face is great, but his body when he’s running around chasing victims, well…my hubby, who was watching the movie with me, described it best: “He looks like Nightmare Before Christmas.”
Grimcutty has a big freaky head that kind of reminds me of Danny DeVito’s version of The Penguin, but his gawky body when he runs is this stick figure puppet looking thing reminiscent of the body of Jack Skellington. It’s just odd, which in a way works to make it weird and eerie.
The plot is typical of these films. One girl being terrorized by the meme is determined to break the chain, so she runs all over town trying to figure out the source of the horror and how she can stop it. I got a thrill out of the scenes in which he chases her through houses, especially since it’s one of those situations in which she can be at a party full of people who don’t see him, yet he’s still there and coming for her.
It might be just a cheesy, cheap joyride popcorn flick, but Grimcutty does manage to send us a little message about how easily influenced kids are by social media…and how addicted they are to their devices.
V/H/S/99 (2022)
When this retro 90s installment opened with some faux infomercials and an annoying stop motion toy soldier segment as a wraparound, I had a feeling this wasn’t exactly going to live up to previous entries in the series.
With the movie having a total running time nearing 110 minutes long, it’s disappointing to discover that in almost every case the setups take up the bulk of each tale, and all the exciting stuff is rushed in the last few minutes.
Here’s the breakdown of the stories:
1st story – a punk band sneaks into a building where another band was believed to have met a tragic end, and pretty soon that band makes a ghoulish appearance. If nothing else, at least the dead band rocks the rot.
2nd story – this one got under my skin because it involves sorority sisters burying their latest pledge alive in a coffin. Ugh. This shit gives me claustrophobia…especially when spiders, water, and fricking ghouls find their way into the coffin with her.
3rd story – I really hate sadistic game show stories, especially when they’re done in that flashy cartoonish style, and that’s how this one starts. It only gets worse from there when a family that was on the show decides to get revenge on the show’s host by subjecting him to some torture porn. And then it goes totally off the rails and I have no idea what the hell was going on…but it’s definitely monstrous.
4th story – this is the ultimate example of these stories being all build-up with brief payoff. It’s a whole lot of footage of teen boys spying on pretty girls and then a super quick conclusion of a hot girl next store showing up to really make them hard.
5th story – the only story that’s like one big money shot, this final tale also has a humorous edge to it as two guys attending a Y2K coven ritual get sucked into a hellish dimension and encounter numerous demonic creatures. Not much of a story but definitely the horror eye candy segment of the anthology.
Interestingly, as I was watching it I was having Deadstream flashbacks, particularly due to a nagging scream that was running through the action…little did I know until a friend called it to my attention that this was directed by the Deadstream guy and he’s in it. He really needs to start distancing himself from his own scream or he’s going to become a literal one note horror creator and character.
TORN HEARTS (2022)
Torn Hearts is a throwback to held against their will thrillers of the late 80s/early 90s like Dead of Winter, Misery, and Boxing Helena.
Naturally Katey Sagal is the highlight as a reclusive country singer who dropped out of the limelight after the death of her sister/partner.
Another duo of young women is trying to break into the business and one of them is Katey’s biggest fan. So they pay her a visit at her estate to convince her to come out of retirement and do a song with them.
It’s quite clear right away that Katey has issues, but the fangirl doesn’t see it…even as Katey starts pitting the two girls against each other using the tensions and jealousies that exist between them.
What makes this one frustrating is that the fangirl refuses to believe her idol can do any wrong. The legendary bitch is clearly a psycho and the other girl wants to get the fuck out of there, but no matter how extreme shit gets, the fangirl is like, “I wanna stay!” It’s one big commentary on the obsessions young people have with idolizing celebrity and wanting to be famous themselves.
If you’re familiar with these types of thrillers, there’s not much new here, so just watch it for the suspense and Katey’s performance…and an appearance by Josh from The Blair Witch Project if you’ve been missing him in horror.
