Slashers: clits ‘n’ clowns?

Didn’t quite know what I was getting myself into with Bloody Drama and Clowntergeist. But here’s what I got out of them.

BLOODY DRAMA (2017)

The title Bloody Drama immediately took on a whole new meaning for me when one of the first scenes had two girls bickering while eating pussy. And yet…I kept on watching.

The face you make trying to commit to lesbianism in Trump’s America.

This low budget indie is essentially a lesbian slasher. The cast is predominantly female, they spend most of the movie around a pool bickering when they’re not off in the house being stabbed by a masked killer, and by the end of the film, they’re virtually all lesbians. I think it’s because this cutie didn’t make it to the pool party on time to set them straight.

The kills do their best to try to capture that old school 80s spirit, but there’s nothing particularly scary or gory here.

Most memorable part for me (other than that opening scene of…um…opening eating) is when one of the few guys in the film gets stabbed early on. Not because it’s a good kill scene, but because he spends the rest of the movie crawling around still dying and trying to scream for help. Funny little addition to what’s not actually even a horror comedy.

CLOWNTERGEIST (2017)

Two elements of the opening scare sequence of Clowntergeist had me ready to call it a day: it uses the “we don’t have a clown statue” gimmick made famous by the film Amusement, and it establishes a clown with a red balloon calling card. WTF? Come on. It’s bad enough you’re making yet another killer clown flick. You’re really going to lift exact staples from other clown flicks?

In the end, I had to just let it go, because this silly clown ghost horror flick is kind of a blast. While it has a surprisingly low body count and little in the way of logical plot, it is loaded with creepy atmosphere, eerie setup shots, and three main kids that are joyously likable—unheard of in horror these days (not to mention the boy is cute).

The main girl is plagued by “dreams” of the killer clown, who always leaves behind his calling card—gory red balloons with ominous messages written on them. The only one who believes her is a man who recently lost his daughter to the clown and is also being terrorized by the red balloon messages.

As the convoluted plot thickens, the clown eventually manifests (aka: second part of the film is better), and he’s not your usual big, bad, burly killer clown with a menacing sharp weapon. Perhaps because he’s a clowntergeist, this fellow is refreshingly freaky.

Instead of walking tall like your usual psycho killer, he sort of hunches over and slinks around as he chases the main characters through rooms filled with 80s neon lights and fog machines for a good part of the film.

There are plenty of cheap scares, especially whenever the main girl gets in a car. EEK!

But like I said, there’s little in the way of a body count, which means gore is minimal, but there is one oddly out of place grisly scene of the main girl being abducted by the clown.

I’m not going to deny it. This is one that gives me the cheesy horror feels and I’ll be picking it up on DVD.