It’s a variety of horror subgenres in this trio of films I knocked off my Shudder watchlist.
GLORIOUS (2022)
Turning True Blood pretty boy Jason Stackhouse and a glory hole plot into a talkfest is a waste of a concept. If you want a glory hole movie that delivers on being as nasty as the title promises, just watch Hole in the Wall.
I guess the goal of Glorious is to go for the Lovecraft setup—one lone man enters an unthinkable predicament that both terrifies him and challenges everything he knows about life as he confronts something otherworldly that threatens all of humanity.
Jason Stackhouse is having an emotional breakdown after a breakup and ends up in a bathroom at an isolated rest stop, which leads me to say right up front that the movie Rest Stop does a way better job of being a whole movie featuring someone stuck in a bathroom that actually keeps you engaged and on the edge of your seat.
So Jason Stackhouse pukes in a bathroom stall and then begins having a conversation with a man in the stall next to his through a glory hole that is surrounded by a painting that looks like The Deadly Spawn.
As we are bombarded by nonstop talk, the “being” in the next stall inevitably tells Jason Stackhouse he’s an unearthly life form that needs Jason Stackhouse’s help to save the world from destruction.
Jason Stackhouse can’t escape the restroom, and so the being has to coerce him into giving him what he wants through the glory hole. If only it were as pervy as it sounds. In fact, the absolute funniest and most entertaining moment comes when Jason Stackhouse tries to give the being exactly what he thinks it’s hungry for through the glory hole. But I’m pretty sure any gay guy who watches this is going to feel as I did—appropriation with no pay-off!
On the bright side, we do eventually see a very Lovecraftian, tentacled monster.
HELLBENDER (2021)
This is a moody, melancholy flick about a family of witchcraft addicts…that doesn’t have much of a plot.
It’s beautifully shot and notable for having been created by an actual family that stars and even plays their own original songs during some rocker girl band scenes, however it simply doesn’t go much of anywhere.
The focus is entirely on a mother who practices witchcraft in and around her house in the woods while trying to raise her teen daughter to be a good witch…yet seems to have fallen off the black magic wagon herself.
They eat weird things, sacrifice animals, revel in blood, and even kill men now and then.
Not much else happens beyond them bonding and her daughter losing her grip on her powers while they frolic in the woods together.
But like I said, it’s visually compelling and atmospheric, so if you’re into the dark witchcraft thing, you might really appreciate it.
ALLEGORIA (2022)
A cool concept for an anthology, this film is summed up in its title if you’re into art and literature.
Running only 70 minutes long, Allegoria jumps right into its tales with no wraparound. Every story is fun and spooky, but the bones of each story are essentially the same; a creative person unleashes evil through their craft.
–a drama teacher pushes his acting students to be as terrifying as possible
–a handsome artist unleashes the darkness in his paintings
–a writer’s killer character is manifested in reality
–featuring two familiar horror faces—Scout Taylor-Compton and the geek Warren from Buffy—this is a tale of a photographer looking for a new subject to shoot
–a rocker’s music is a gateway to evil
It’s short, to the point, and a bit repetitive, but taking each tale on its own, this one features some quality production and is one of the more entertaining anthologies I’ve seen in a while.
