STREAM QUEEN: a boat, a band, and blood

Posted on November 19, 2020 by Daniel

Freaks that like flesh! It’s two very different kinds of horror films as I take on Blood Vessel and Uncle Peckerhead.

BLOOD VESSEL (2019)

This feels to me like a serious version of the horror comedy Subferatu. It takes place during World War II, when a group stranded on a life raft boards an abandoned German ship.

Aside from Subferatu, it quickly begins feeling like a cross between Ghost Ship and Death Ship. Things move along very slowly until they finally find a little girl stowed away about 30 minutes in. The setting and atmosphere satisfy, but the film returns to being very slow.

Finally, an ornate coffin is found. A dude breaks it open and unleashes monstrous vampires reminiscent of Salem’s Lot, Subspecies, and The Night Flier.

The vamps are creepy cool and there are plenty of hack n slash battles, but personally I didn’t find this one all that enthralling.

UNCLE PECKERHEAD (2020)

Rock band comedy horror movies have become trendy in the past few years, and while Uncle Peckerhead isn’t the cream of the crop, there’s plenty to like here, such as the very first super gory shot. Yay!

The film follows a punk trio—2 girls and a guy—that finally lands a tour gig. Problem is, their van gets repossessed. So out of sheer desperation, they agree to let an older guy with a van be their roadie. And that man is Uncle Peckerhead.

But Uncle Peckerhead has a problem—at night he turns into what looks like a cannibalistic version of Captain Spaulding from House of 1000 Corpses and chows down on anyone he can sink his teeth into.

Desperate to become successful, the band agrees to give him injections that control his monstrous side so that they can continue with their tour. That turns out to be a big mistake, even if Uncle Peckerhead does limit his meals to those that wrong the band.

The cast is quite likable, and there are plenty of funny moments, as well as oodles of blood and guts. Plus, the bearish guy in the band is cute, funny, and gay, scoring Uncle Peckerhead a spot on the does the gay guy die? list. With a title like this, it better.

However, the film does have pacing issues and also falls into a repetitive pattern—band shenanigans, Uncle Peckerhead eats someone, they drive to a new place to do it all again. Still, it’s worth a watch if you’re a fan of band focused horror flicks.

 

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For the love of 80s Euro trash horror

Posted on November 18, 2020 by Daniel

This was going to be a general blog about a handful of 1980s horror movies, until I realized all my selections are European films. So let’s get into them!

REST IN PIECES (1987)

This odd little Euro horror flick reminds me of a cross between Rosemary’s Baby and Suspiria.

After totally 80s muzak during the intro credits, we meet a young couple that is heading to a mansion…which the wife just inherited from her dead aunt, who committed suicide…and videotaped it!

 

Oddly, there are a whole bunch of people living in the aunt’s house, and they don’t leave.

Meanwhile, the wife keeps having terrifying visions of her aunt trying to kill her.

It begins to feel like a late 80s thriller as the husband becomes convinced the other housemates are trying to drive the wife mad.

Things shift back to horror with psycho killers, a cult, and some satanic rituals, plus a bit of a twist. Overall this is merely fun for the hokey 80s nostalgia, because it’s not a very good movie.

OASIS OF THE ZOMBIES (1982)

It’s low budget zombie horror from director Jess Franco, who scores two movies in this blog. However, he doesn’t quite score with this mess.

Putting it simply, there are approximately two substantial scenes of zombies, and the second one recycles some of the footage from the first one.

In between, there’s a lame plot about treasure hunters looking for lost goodies left behind by Nazis, plus some backstory about the Nazis.

It’s all quite boring, and there’s little in the way of character development.

As for those two zombie scenes, they’re pretty classic zombie stuff, with rotting flesh, icky bugs crawling on the living dead, and some gut munching. Plus, it all happens in daylight, which adds to the fun.

FACELESS (1987)

This 80s blog includes a double feature of movies starring scream queen Caroline Munro. In Faceless, she’s a slutty, druggy model who gets abducted by a mad scientist looking to give his sister a face transplant after hers is deformed in an attack.

The last thing you would expect in a grisly European horror movie is Telly Savalas, but the Kojak royalties must have started drying up, so here he is as Munro’s dad, who hires a detective to find her.

Meanwhile, the crazy doctor needs some help with the transplant plan, so he teams up with an old Nazi, and they begin their work…doing test runs that just keep going horrifically bad.

The face peeling gore in this film is about as gross as it gets for this time period.

There’s even a campy scene involving a flamboyant gay man siccing his muscle boy on the detective, which lands Faceless on the does the gay guy die? page.

And of course, because it’s the 80s and this is Euro horror directed by Jess Franco, there are some sleazy and unpleasant sexual situations. Having said all that, this is 80s exploitation for sure, but it’s not a scary movie.

HOWL OF THE DEVIL (1988)

This Spanish film has plenty of weird characters, oddball situations, and sleazy elements that make it feel like a European giallo, yet also goes for a straightforward American slasher formula at times, with basic kills using sharp weapons.

The film is about a womanizing misogynist who hates that his late brother had a career in horror movies. He’s not kind to the young nephew he cares for, who lives in a fantasy world in which his dead father visits him regularly while dressed in various monster costumes he wore in his movies. This happens to be the director Paul Naschy, basically reprising monster roles he played in some of his other films.

There’s also a sinful priest, a weird hobo hanging around warning young women to stay away from the uncle and his house, and scream queen Caroline Munro as the maid who eventually becomes the final girl.

There are plenty of gory kills, witchcraft and the occult come into play, and yet the film is so off the rails that it really doesn’t go anywhere. Plus, it’s kind of obvious who the killer is from the start. That doesn’t mean that I don’t totally want this to come out on Blu-ray so I can add it to my collection.

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If you’re thirsting for some last minute gay horror in 2020

Posted on November 17, 2020 by Daniel

Icelandic film Thirst is a sleazy and gory dark horror comedy about a centuries old gay vampire that just loves to chomp the dick and balls off his victims.

If only he didn’t look like an old burnout version of Rob Halford from Judas Priest, it might be more convincing that he could score with all the men he meets.

However, his drab look does add to the underlying sadness he feels from being alone.

If you overlook that we don’t get the usual sexy vampire experience, this nasty little flick is quirky and weird, with distinctly flawed, tragic characters. It also has a perfectly nuanced 80s horror vibe that manages to make it feel right out of the decade rather than as if it’s trying desperately to capture that retro feel.

Adding to the oddball style, there’s even an animated scene flashback scene.

Our gay vampire befriends a young woman who is also not having the best time. She has been accused of killing her brother with an overdose. Her mother has disowned her, a detective is investigating her, and the detective’s wife is a crazy televangelist on the hunt for the “prince of darkness”.

It’s all a recipe for disaster when their worlds collide, but it sure is fun watching the devilish delight the vamp gets out of crotch noshing. This is a midnight movie splatterfest with nothing left to the imagination, and IMO, all the scenes involving wiener are the comic highlights. They also land this film on the homo horror movies page.

Thirst is due out on DVD on December 1st, and I will most definitely be adding it to my collection.

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Time to take on the Hammer/Christopher Lee Dracula films

Posted on November 16, 2020 by Daniel

I warned you my Peter Cushing/Hammer Films Frankenstein movie blog would soon be followed by this one, so let’s get right into them! A LOT of them…

HORROR OF DRACULA (1958)

Also known simply as Dracula, this first installment of the Christopher Lee/Hammer Films/Dracula series is a fairly typical and straightforward adaptation of the original novel. It’s Christopher Lee’s physical presence and movements that give Dracula—dare I say—life.

Jonathan Harker comes to Dracula’s castle to work as a librarian, is approached by a woman who says she’s being held captive and need his help, and is eventually attacked by her. That’s when Lee first swoops in, leaping majestically across a room to stop her! Awesome.

Back at Harker’s home, Peter Cushing arrives as Van Helsing. Harker’s lady has fallen ill, and of course it’s because she’s getting nightly visits from Drac. Her troubles become the focus of the film, and Van Helsing plans to use her to lead him to Drac.

The final battle between Lee and Cushing is most definitely the highlight of the film.

BRIDES OF DRACULA (1960)

What do you know? Christopher Lee isn’t even in this second installment, But Peter Cushing carries on the Van Helsing tradition.

Although Dracula is dead, his disciples live on. In a similar plot to the traditional story, a young teacher is left in a bind while traveling to her new job, so a baroness invites her to stay at her castle.

The baroness’s son is supposedly insane and locked away, so naturally the teacher goes and explores, finds him, and releases him.

Of course he’s a vampire, but I really couldn’t take him seriously, because every time his beaming face flashed its fangs, he looked as flamboyant as Liberace.

More creepy are the “brides” in the movie—the classic lady vamps in flowing white gowns.

It’s up to Van Helsing to once again chase down all the vamps, and this one scores major points for the way in which he creates a huge, makeshift crucifix at the end.

DRACULA: PRINCE OF DARKNESS (1966)

This is my favorite of the bunch so far, and begins with a flashback to the fight at the end of the first film.

This time two couples are traveling, and wouldn’t you know their means of transportation breaks down, and they unknowingly end up in Dracula’s castle.

In one of the most “gory” scenes of the series yet, Drac’s servant bleeds out one victim all over Dracula’s dusty remains to resurrect him. Slowly but surely, the servant keeps luring victims to Dracula, and Lee is even more sinister than in the first film.

Meanwhile,the survivors team up with the priest to combat the vamps. The ending is both cool and funny as the battle arena is thin ice. You can imagine what becomes of Dracula now. Lee’s reaction is not exactly his finest moment, and I laughed out loud.

DRACULA HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE (1968)

Things start strong, with a dead woman falling out of a bell in the church, rendering the altar boy mute, causing the priest to lose his faith, and keeping parishioners from stepping into the church for fear it is cursed by Dracula.

Soooo…the Monsignor comes to exorcise the place. In doing so, he unknowingly releases Drac from the ice.

Drac wants revenge on him (why? The dude set you free!) so he targets the monsignor’s niece with the help of one of her converted friends. But the niece’s boyfriend keeps getting in the way, and the friend is jealous that she’s not enough for Drac.

If there’s anything new and interesting here, it’s the symbolism concerning the niece losing her innocence, right down to a childhood doll she pushes away when Drac bites her. Other than that, it’s the same old shit, with Dracula ending up impaled on a crucifix.

TASTE THE BLOOD OF DRACULA (1970)

You can tell Dracula has moved into the 1970s because things are much more lewd and sexual. A young lord draws three guys, whose “charitable cause” is actually to buy themselves a party at a brothel, into his black mass.

When the ritual goes bad, the three men leave the lord for dead…and he transforms into Christopher Lee’s Dracula. Say what? This is like some Friday the 13th: A New Beginning shit, with Dracula not actually being the real Dracula.

From there it’s the same old story. Dracula wants revenge on the three men, so he uses those women they love to go after them.

The highlight of this installment is the lady vamps turning the tables and staking a mortal for a change.

SCARS OF DRACULA (1970)

This one feels like a reboot or reset, with no continuity between how Drac died last time and where his remains are now.

Plus, now he can finally control animals—or more specifically a really bad bat that looks like a cheesy Gilligan’s Island special effect. This is the kind of thing where you can sense the strings even when you can’t see them. And this bat gets a lot of screen time.

Anyway, the story starts as a rehash. Guy ends up in Drac’s castle, a woman there says she’s being held prisoner, she tries to bite the guy, vlah, vlah, vlah.

Drac’s faithful servant helps him lure new victims to the castle, including the brother of the guy he already had staying with him. It’s a rinse and repeat gothic vampire story with helpless damsels saved only by the crucifixes dangling between their ample breasts…until the bat comes along and pulls it off them so Dracula can drink their milk…I mean…blood.

I can’t believe I’m going to watch four more of these movies, or that Christoper Lee kept agreeing to make more well into the 1970s.

DRACULA A.D. 1972 (1972)

As if the title wasn’t enough to tell you, the series goes off the rails this time. It begins in the old days with Peter Cushing back as Van Helsing and killing Dracula before dying himself. Unfortunately, a Dracula fanboy shows up and saves his remains.

Flash forward to a horrible hippy party in modern day 1972. One guy in the group, who looks just like the fanboy from a century before, gathers a group to perform a black mass…and sacrifices a young Caroline Munro in the process. Aaaaaand…

Dracula is back in action, with his new fanboy luring all the victims to him. Cushing is a Van Helsing descendant that looks exactly like the old Van Helsing. Throw in horrible, 70s jazzy action muzak, and this is as bad as the series gets so far. Even Cushing is rolling his eyes…

On the bright side, the film is totally post-civil rights movement, with a black female character and plenty of interracial intimacy, even with Dracula.

THE SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA (1973)

A direct sequel to the previous film, this one continues in modern day, and focuses on government agents investigating prominent men that are part of a vampire cult run by an Asian woman.

There are plenty of boobs, including an emaciated pair and a big pair that overshadows the stake being struck through the heart in the same vicinity.

There’s also a pretty freaky scene of a woman being swarmed by vamps in a basement, and that woman is none other than Patsy of Ab Fab.

The agency hires Van Helsing to help them out, and eventually he tracks down Drac. The final act is the best part of the film because Lee and Cushing battle it out once again. The prickle bush trap is so bad it’s awesome.

However, I must admit, as much as I hate period pieces, these two men are forever tied to the old days, so when they come face to face in an modern office it ends up looking like the characters simply time warped into the future and are just not admitting to it.

THE LEGEND OF THE SEVEN GOLDEN VAMPIRES (1974)

Lee is out as Dracula (replaced briefly by another actor), Cushing is still Van Helsing, and Hammer films has teamed with an Asian production company, so this is predominantly a Kung fu movie.

Van Helsing travels to Asia to help a small village with a vamp problem—part of the problem for me being that the vamps wear masks. WTF?

The fighters in this village seem much better equipped than Van Helsing to beat down anything; he just stands around coaching them to strike the vamps in the hearts. Talk about phoning it in.

Notably, this doesn’t continue from the last film, instead taking place in the early 1900s, so continuity is once again out the window. But you have to love Hammer’s attempt to delve completely into 1970s cult cinema. If only they had gotten the rights to Carl Douglas’s “Kung fu Fighting”.

Probably thanks to this being partially an Asian production, it’s also much more contemporary than a standard Hammer film in that there is a blood sucking orgy with plenty of boobs on display.

And finally, this is the last time Cushing will defeat Dracula. And yet, Lee comes back for more…

COUNT DRACULA (1970)

He doesn’t actually come back for more, because this film was released in 1970, the same year as two of his Hammer Dracula films. See, this is not a Hammer release, it’s yet another adaptation of the original novel. Lee sure didn’t seem to care about type casting.

To make it clear he’s not Hammer’s Dracula, Lee has a mustache this time. And Klaus Kinski plays his crazy servant Rendfield. For the first time, Lee visits his victim by flying to her window as a bat before transforming into himself.

It’s all about as generic as a Hammer movie, with perhaps a little more blood. There is also a weird scene of taxidermy coming to life…however, it’s the only memorable scene in the film.

 

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SEASON’S EATINGS: a host of horrors for Christmas and Thanksgiving

Posted on November 13, 2020 by Daniel

Is it eat or be eaten this holiday season? I take a look at one for Thanksgiving and two for Christmas 2020 that all land on the holiday horror page.

THE LAST THANKSGIVING (2020)

Other than iffy acting (the main girl is smartly an exception), The Last Thanksgiving gives us a crazy cannibal family slasher for Thanksgiving that runs a nice, tight 72 minutes long.

While there are throwback nods to 80s slashers and meta references to numerous horror films, this movie manages to rise above the overplayed novelty, bringing some fresh ideas and unique approaches to the retro slasher craze.

The plot focuses on a young woman who has to work on Thanksgiving Day. The diner where she is employed has plenty of characters, including two older women, a gay dude who has a crush on a cute Black employee (landing this one on the does the gay guy die? page), an older boss, and even Linnea Quigley as a customer.

GAY

BLACK

A dance montage to a faux 80s freestyle song paints them in a very positive light, so this is a likable cast of characters.

Meanwhile, a cannibal family is on the prowl looking for their Thanksgiving dinner!

The death scenes are fantastically gory with practical effects, the 80s horror lighting is incorporated into scenes naturally (the change to red at a movie theater is my fave), there’s some understated yet accurate 80s style musical cues, and the characters aren’t picked off in the stereotypical order, which is quite satisfying.

The chase scenes and the ways in which the family gathers everyone for “dinner” is incredibly entertaining, and the “Leatherface” of the family wears a creepy pilgrim mask.

And most importantly, the main girl, the gay guy, and the black guy all rock when push comes to shove.

HOSTS (2020)

This is a movie that definitely keeps you on your toes as it seems to vacillate between subgenres.

It all begins when two men, one dressed as Santa, meet in a field and exchange pleasantries. The younger man is invited along with his wife to the home of the Santa man for Christmas. He even does a sexy dance by the Christmas tree.

We learn there’s some sort of odd body snatching invasion going around, so by the time everyone gathers at the dinner table, some of them are really not feeling like themselves.

Dinner turns into a gory, violent disaster!

Sort of like a home invasion film and either an alien invasion or supernatural film rolled into one, Hosts goes beyond the obvious plot of people being terrorized by “possessed” neighbors at Christmas dinner. It delves into some emotional and metaphorical situations involving familial roles.

This is one of those movies during which you totally understand what’s going on as far as the surface story goes, yet you sort of have no idea what’s really going on, which gives your brain a workout. I found it to be intriguing, engrossing, quite atmospheric, and effectively eerie.

THE WOLF OF SNOW HOLLOW (2020)

This werewolf horror comedy is directed by, written by, and stars Jim Cummings. That being said, Jim Cummings makes this movie all about Jim Cummings. Which is a bummer when you have a muscle guy like this at your disposal…

Jim Cummings is funny and cute at first as the alcoholic deputy on the case when mutilated bodies start turning up dead in his small town.

But soon you’ll begin to notice that the job of everyone else in the movie is to fade into the background so Jim Cummings retains the spotlight. No one other than Jim Cummings gets a funny line. Jim Cummings gets to be a vibrant personality while everyone else could just as well be a cardboard cutout. Jim Cummings’s shtick becomes distracting as the movie progresses.

The werewolf and the occasional kills are pretty cool, but they do not stand a chance of upstaging Jim Cummings. We needed more werewolf.

While the movie takes place at Christmas, not enough TLC is given to the holiday to make this a genuine Christmas horror movie. All that attention is reserved for Jim Cummings. And the surprise revelation as to the origin of the werewolf is perhaps not the one you would imagine, but what’s no surprise is that the surprise isn’t as big a deal as is how it affects Jim Cummings’s character.

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An American remake and an Asian sequel

Posted on November 9, 2020 by Daniel

It’s all about the infected and the possessed in my latest double feature viewing. Oh…and Tyler Posey’s bod.

ALONE (2020)

The recent Asian zombie film #Alive gets an American remake starring Tyler Posey of Teen Wolf fame, who isn’t only excellent in his role, he’s also shirtless a lot and shows his ass several times. As does my blog…

The plot is predominantly the same, with Posey trapped in his apartment when smart, fast moving, talking zombies ravage the earth. As he fights to stay alive, he befriends a young woman trapped in an apartment across the way.

Posey’s character is much less geek and more of a little stud nerd than the character in the original, and his relationship with the girl across from him is super American, with immediate flirting turning into a relationship, whereas the girl in the original was standoffish and slow to warm up.

Most of the action scenes are the same, but there are a handful of fresh zombie suspense scenes that make this worth a watch even if you’ve seen the original. However, the zombies were way cooler and freaky looking in the original. Here they look more like infected crazies than mutated zombies.

And finally, just as in the original, there’s an encounter with an older man trapped by himself, played by Donald Sutherland here.

MAY THE DEVIL TAKE YOU TOO (2020)

The sequel takes place several years after the original. No one seems to believe the main girl’s story about the demon attacks in the first movie.

That all changes when she’s abducted by a group of kids with a story of an orphanage and a ritual that will free them from a demonic curse.

Catch is, they need her help..

Wouldn’t you know a whole new possession scenario kicks in. Before long, the movie turns into a nonstop bombardment of the group being chased by deadites, Asian horror girls, and Linda Blair bitches that crawl, spit up black bile, and pop up in all the rooms and halls of a decrepit building.

Nothing in the way of depth here. This is purely a funhouse of horror filled with action-packed, demonic insanity.

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A gay horror comedy short and 4 full-length films with gay guys

Posted on November 3, 2020 by Daniel

It’s gays vs. the supernatural, gays vs. a masked killer, and gays vs. zombies in my latest marathon, which lands some new films on both the homo horror movies page and the does the gay guy die? page.

POLTERGAYS (2020)

Running a little over 15 minutes long, this silly little short film is a good warm up for this gay horror marathon. Not to be confused with the French film Poltergay, this is…sort of a brief take on the same plot.

A straight, religious couple moves into a new home and quickly discovers there are a couple of gay ghosts in the house.

Initially the humor felt dated, cliché, and corny to me.

However, it finds its rhythm when Halloween hits and the couple tries to exorcise the ghosts.

The comic timing of all four actors is perfect, thanks in part to the fact that the writing suddenly gets much quicker and smarter.

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD: REBIRTH (2020)

Night of the Living Dead gets slightly reimagined, with scream queen Roger Conners, who directs and stars, playing the Judith O’Dea character as a gay man.

Understand that Roger plays the role just as she did, with the character basically being helpless, useless, and in a daze for most of the film, so if you’re looking for a gay horror hero character, this ain’t it.

There are minor changes in the details, but if you’ve seen the original (who hasn’t?), you know what to expect.

Most notably different is that the zombies’ eyes glow.

It’s never quite explained why this happens, but I found that it added a little something different to the worn out zombie genre, and the effect reminded me of the ghostly pirates in The Fog.

There’s also some updating to provide social commentary in a queer context. For instance, the self-centered asshole is an anti-gay religious nut this time, something not surprising in bringing the character into the new millennium.

The little girl with the garden tool scene is intact, but there’s just no topping the way it’s presented in the original film. For me, the final act is the most exciting part, with a disorienting slow strobing light effect as the zombies infiltrate the dark house. It’s also where we get the most gore.

And just for fun, there’s some zombutt.

If you’re like me, the only question you’ll have the entire time is, who’s going to be the last man standing, the gay guy or the gorgeous Black guy?

TEACHER SHORTAGE (2020)

With his third slasher, director Troy Escamilla (Party Night, Mrs. Claus) goes for the gay. Teacher Shortage lands an honorary spot on the homo horror movies page because the final boy is gay. Having said that, I still feel Party Night, his first film, is his strongest slasher yet.

The plot focuses on a gay teacher having an affair with the high school principal, played by none other than Roger Conners.

Personally, I much prefer his gay character and performance here because his Rebirth character is as annoying as Judith O’Dea was in Night of the Living Dead. That’s right, I said it. I’ve never liked her character.

The gay teacher joins a group of English teachers for a dinner party, and they begin getting picked off one by one by a masked killer.

There’s a whole lot of talk in between kills, most of it awkward dialogue that slows down the pacing while adding nothing to the plot. The acting is also a mixed bag.

For instance, beary actor David McMahon shines, effortlessly creating a character with loads of character, while others around him basically just recite their lines or overact, causing inconsistency within scenes.

There are some gory kills and the killer’s mask is a goodie, but there are also some odd choices, like every setting abruptly and illogically turning Argento red when the killer takes care of business. It is reminiscent of a technique used in Creepshow, where it works perfectly with the horror comic book structure, while here it feels like a forced 80s nostalgia gimmick. The lighting choice works best in this kind of film when it’s somehow logically incorporated into the setting, such as the scene at a bar, which would most likely have dim lighting drenched with color light coming from neon beer brand signs on the walls.

Also, the 80s inspired score isn’t used sparingly to highlight or enhance kill scenes. Instead, there’s almost always some sort of ominous music playing in the background regardless of context, like in the very first scene when yearbooks are being distributed in class.

The final gay gets a chase scene that doesn’t quite have the oomph longtime slasher fans look for. Rather than scary or suspenseful, it comes across as campy, which I don’t think was the intention. However, I do think the film would have benefited by going with that tone instead, especially since the main character is a gay teacher banging the principal! Awesome. I will totally be adding this one to my collection of gay horror flix.

NOBODY SLEEPS IN THE WOODS TONIGHT (2020)

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight is a pretty damn good backwoods slasher to check out if you need a fix.

At a summer camp designed to get kids off their devices and off the grid, a counselor takes a small group out on a hike. All the tropes are in place and get the job done.

  • someone is feeding something in a basement
  • the hikers find a mutilated animal

  • the guys have a fight, including anti-gay sentiments

  • one of the guys is actually gay

  • a couple has sex in woods
  • one kid knows all the rules of horror
  • the group finds a creepy house in the woods

  • victims end up imprisoned in a basement lair
  • flashbacks reveal the killer’s back story

Along with all that, the killer is gnarly looking, the kills are gory, and there are plenty of suspense scenes, making this a satisfying yet familiar experience.

A STRANGER AMONG THE LIVING (2019)

While not as gay as his film Triggered, this film features director Chris Moore playing as a gay character with a husband, plus a few lines seem to suggest that our cute, bald, leading man is gay.

This eerie little indie is a cross between It Follows and The Sixth Sense. The main guy is a teacher who manages to survive a school shooting when Fate intervenes.

He spends the rest of the film seeing and being followed by creepy apparitions.

There are some excellent suspense scenes, but the film does get a bit repetitive, and despite an effectively timed score, it is guilty of too many stinger scares. There are plenty used during genuine horror scares, so the faux scare moments are entirely unnecessary.

Even so, this is predominantly a smartly produced supernatural indie that keeps you engrossed and on edge. Plus, Chris is a hoot in his role.

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Six Hammer flicks that don’t star Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing

Posted on October 29, 2020 by Daniel

With a Christopher Lee/Hammer Films Dracula marathon still in my near future, I figured I’d first get through the other Hammer Films I inherited from my late brother, which comes down to six flicks, more than half of which feature classic movie monsters.

THE HORROR OF FRANKENSTEIN (1970)

This break from the Peter Cushing Frankenstein movies is as rebellious as the villainous young Doctor Frankenstein in the film is. It’s also as bland as the Peter Cushing films.

Frankenstein is an arrogant, womanizing prick. He gets the daughter of his school’s dean pregnant and flees. He kills his father to inherit all his money. He convinces his friend to help him with his experiment then kills him for parts.

It’s not until 65 minutes in that he finally awakens possibly the hunkiest monster ever.

Just like Dr. Frankenstein, his monster does what he wants, which means killing anyone he comes across and seeming to have a subtle smirk of joy on his face as he does it. His 30 minutes of screen time save the film.

THE CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF (1961)

Hammer attempts a werewolf movie, and manages to just drag the story on and on and on for 82 minutes before our werewolf, a young Oliver Reed, transforms…by turning away from the camera. Sigh.

The plot is even worse. After some commentary on class distinctions, a beggar rapes a woman. She has a baby…on Christmas Day. Bet you didn’t know that a baby born on Christmas Day is automatically a werewolf. Oh, for Christ’s sake.

The kid eats little animals, grows up to be Oliver Reed, gets urges for blood again, and begins killing. He’s locked up, does that back to the camera transformation, escapes, and hey, as bad as the movie is, it’s cool that he looks like a more gnarly version of the Wolfman.

The most impressive part of the film is his climb up, down, and all around rooftops during unoriginal conclusion when villagers with torches chase after him. Wolfman is like the original parkour master.

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (1962)

The classic Gaston Leroux novel has been adapted at least once a decade for virtually 100 years. While anything is just going to feel like treading the same ground over and over, I’d say this is a pretty tight way to bring the Phantom into the 1960s.

The plot doesn’t stray far from the source material. The lead singer of an opera quits after a real dead body steals the spotlight during a performance.

A background singer is made the new lead, and the phantom soon speaks to her in a disembodied voice in her dressing room, pretty much warning her that he’s coming for her to teach her how to sing.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to her when she’s abducted (by a little sidekick man) and brought to the phantom’s lair in the sewers where he teaches her to sing better for her big opening night. But damn, this violent Phantom slaps her around a bit!

The final scene features a long opera performance (there are several in the movie), the falling chandelier shtick, and the phantom finally ripping off his mask to reveal his face.

THE KISS OF THE VAMPIRE (1963)

Shocker. It’s a non-Dracula, non-Christopher Lee vampire flick from Hammer Films.

A man and woman stay at an inn after their car runs out of gas and are soon invited to a masquerade party at a nearby castle.

The family that befriends them proves to be weird, and they eventually kidnap the wife and try to convince the husband that she never existed. That’s because they are vampires and plan to make her one of them!

There are a couple of satisfying horror scenes here, most notably the opener of a funeral that turns bloody, and the final scene in which bats are conjured from hell to wipe out the vampire cult. The story is okay and the general tone of the film delivers on the classic horror vibe, but it’s slow paced and there only very minor vampire biting scenes.

PARANOIAC (1963)

Paranoiac presents a plot that has been recycled numerous times over the decades; a dead family member suddenly shows up alive.

This time it’s a brother who committed suicide. His siblings were raised by their aunt…and still live with her as adults. When the suicide brother returns, the crazy sister is thrilled, and the alcoholic brother, played by Oliver Reed, thinks the family is out to get him for his inheritance. The aunt thinks the suicide brother is a fake.

As the suicide brother and sister get closer, Oliver Reed proves to be totally insane, there’s a masked creep with a hook roaming around the house (awesome), and someone really wants the suicide brother dead. It’s an atmospheric thriller, and it goes a place you wouldn’t think a movie would dare back in 1962…incest!

Of course the truth of what happened to the suicide brother comes out in the end as family members are at each other’s throats.

NIGHTMARE (1964)

These days, Nightmare is quite a generic title, and in retrospect, the general plot of this film is still replicated to this day. It’s the old let’s scare a woman to insanity type of film…sort of like Paranoiac.

I would say Nightmare is Hammer Film’s answer to the William Castle movies. It reminds me of House On Haunted Hill, down to the exterior shots of the blocky, cold looking house in which the film is set. Unlike most Hammer films, it even takes place in the present day (1964). Those two factors make it my favorite of all the Hammer films I’ve been watching.

The opening scene alone is good stuff, with a young woman following the sound of a voice calling for help and getting trapped in a room with a freaky female mental patient.

Turns out the young woman is away at school and having nightmares that are driving her mad. She returns to her home…where she saw her mother stab her father to death. Good plan. The awesome flashback scene depicting the murder has echoed through numerous childhood trauma scenes since, particularly in slasher movies of the 80s.

The family servants are there to great her, along with a new nurse. And wouldn’t you know the young woman is terrorized by visions of a woman roaming the halls and lying dead in bed with a knife in her chest.

Having scene this plot played out in plenty of movies, I immediately figured someone’s probably trying to drive her mad so she’ll commit a murder and be locked away, leaving them to collect an inheritance.

Was I right? Watch the film and find out.

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The titles scream Halloween, but will the movies make you scream on Halloween?

Posted on October 28, 2020 by Daniel

Just under the wire, I scrounged up three more Halloween themed horror movies to get me in the mood this October. Are they worthy of the season? Let’s find out.

DARK OCTOBER (2020)

I could tell from the trailer for Dark October that I was basically walking into a home movie look , so I didn’t even dare subject my hubby to it. Of course I was obligated to watch it so I could add it to the holiday horror page.

Although it’s not found footage, it feels like watching 69 minutes of a group of girls documenting their trip to a concert in Salem on Halloween. They hang out, they plan the trip, one girl shops for books on Salem and steals a book the clerk refuses to sell her, they stop for a reading from a fake medium, they walk, they take selfies, and they go to a diner and make us literally sit through them perusing the menus, making decisions, and giving the waitress their orders.

This could have been an entertaining horror short had it just started when the girls finally explore an old school.

The book comes into play, there’s possession, murder with some satisfying gore, a jump scare, and some pretty effective setup shots.

There’s even an overly long shower scene, but they didn’t hire an actress willing to get nude on camera (kudos to the actress who did take the shower for obviously refusing to bare all).

ON HALLOWEEN (2020)

Right off the bat, things start “on Halloween” with opening footage of trick or treaters and outdoor holiday decor.

When children at a park share urban legends and one devilish little girl is like “I’ve got a real scary story to tell”, I was definitely pulled in.

Kidnappings and a few gory death scenes warm us up as we learn about a supernatural killer clown believed to come back every year to use the blood of victims for an elixir that keeps him alive to kill another Halloween. I must say it’s a pretty good concept for an indie slasher.

The guy playing the clown is absolutely fantastic.

His comments are darkly, smartly snarky as opposed to the cheesy one-liners delivered by most slasher killers, and he’s also incredibly sinister, not to mention a vicious and brutal psycho. Plus, he seems to teleport and multiply at will. Awesome.

Even though he resorts at times to using guns (I hate when killers in slashers use guns), he is super ominous while stalking in the dark shadows and never loses his potency.

Even some of the cast members deliver some good and subtly humorous lines, but despite nonstop clown action, where this film loses some ground is in its narrative approach. There are three different groups delving into the truth behind the killer clown’s story—a bunch of thrill-seeking kids visiting the location where he’s supposed to resurrect each year, a journalist team researching the clown story, and some detectives investigating a series of murders.

The bouncing around messes with the flow of the film, however, the reason it’s crafted this way is revealed at the end. It’s pretty clever, but that obviously doesn’t amend the sluggishness getting there. It’s just a noticeable issue you have to accept as you watch, because On Halloween really is an entertaining slasher overall, from the clown to some gruesome kills, as well as that stark, colorless look that gives it an effectively eerie visual tone and suspenseful atmosphere.

MR. HALLOWEEN (2007)

I have waited years for this film to show up somewhere, anywhere, so I could watch it. Imagine my surprise when it popped up on Amazon Prime at last.

Mr. Halloween is my kind of low budget indie. The attention to detail despite budget limitations makes me disappointed to see that director Andrew Wolf has very little else on his IMDb page, because he clearly paid attention to the horror movies he grew up on. He nails the cheap, gritty feel of early 80s direct-to-video horror films, and I would have loved to see him progress from here. If this had been a horror movie in the video stores and in rotation on cable when I was a kid, today it would probably be one of those films that has a special place on my movie shelves. And it will, because I totally ordered the DVD after watching it.

Are there issues? Sure. Most of the acting is quite amateur, but the one person who really matters is our killer Mr. Halloween, and this dude delivers. He’s perfectly weird, cold, and distant when interacting with people, and his overall presence reminded me very much of Joe Spinell of the original Maniac.

Next there’s the quality of the production. For instance, the initial night scene is flooded with unnaturally bright light due to either lack of lighting experience, lack of the right equipment, or both. However, these limitations work to the film’s benefit in daytime scenes and eerily dim indoor scenes. The locations used are rustic and real, with uncommon Halloween decor that looks like it was genuinely stuck in front yards for the holiday.

Most glaringly, the film needed some editing to improve the pacing. It’s nearly two hours long, and there’s a notable lull in the middle after darkly effective staging scenes. Once the bulk of the plot is established, the film regains its footing for a final act with a perfect throwback feel.

So on to the plot. In a small town, a teen has gone missing and everyone is on edge. The local kids become fixated on tales of a weird man they call Mr. Halloween, who creates a haunted attraction tour through his house each year. Needless to say, these dumb kids go to his house to take the tour. They soon learn the horrors of the house look real because they are.

Mr. Halloween seems to be more than just your everyday killer freak. He does odd things when he’s alone…and I’m not just talking about hacking up bodies to use for his displays, all presented with icky practical effects. The hypnotic retro horror score amplifies the weirdness of it all, as do the dark, shadowy rooms in Mr. Halloween’s house.

There are some unexpected plot twists in the final act, and plenty of effectively executed scares and suspense situations. Most importantly, when the two main kids are plunged into a chase and final battle with Mr. Halloween in claustrophobic quarters, the actors make up for their lack of acting experience by really delivering with their reactions and the physical combat.

 

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Killer hair, a vampire clan, masked psychos, and a miniature Frankenstein

Posted on October 26, 2020 by Daniel

As the horror movie choices continue to dwindle due to COVID, I rounded up this foursome of very different subgenres. Let’s get right into them.

BAD HAIR (2020)

Bad Hair weaves the Asian girl hair horror of the early 2000s into a story of the trials and tribulations of being a Black girl in the new jack swing era of the late 80s. Although it takes a little too long establishing the main girl’s everyday life predicaments before getting to her horror woes, once it does, it’s a fricking blast and definitely one I’ll be adding to my collection if it’s released on disc.

While so many horror indies these days try desperately to capture the look and feel of the early 80s and fail miserably, this movie absolutely nails the transition from the 80s to the 90s. I felt like I was on the set of In Living Color or House Party.

A woman working at a music video station wants so badly to be up in front of the camera as a VJ. When the channel is sold, her new boss, played deliciously by Vanessa Williams, tells her she needs to get her hair done.

She goes for a weave, and none other than a very bewitching Laverne Cox does the job.

Although the first half hour or so of the film is slow, the use of camerawork to convey feelings, actions, and sense of space is fantastic. As Laverne goes to work on her head, you can virtually feel her pain as it is gruesomely threaded in.

And then her troubles begin. It starts with her scalp hurting. Then she has horrific dreams. And then…her hair gets a mind of its own and the killing commences!

Despite being about long black hair going for the jugular, the concept here is quite fresh and perfectly executed with both freaky horror and laugh-out-loud humor.

Vanessa Williams rules, and the cast also includes James Van Der Beek, Blair Underwood still looking gorgeous with silver hair, Usher, and Kelly Rowland as a famous singer.

And I’ll just say that her videos and songs look and sound right out of 1989 and I totally want them on CD.

 

NOCTURNA (2015)

Nocturna feels like a vampire TV show that wouldn’t have made it more than two episodes before being canceled. It’s also a reminder that I have no use for movies about monster clans feuding with each other.

It’s Christmas time, which is irrelevant to anything in this film, so I don’t know why that choice was made. A hot detective team becomes embroiled with a vampire clan that promises to protect them if they help hunt down the enemy vampire clan.

Johnathon Schaech is one of the vampires, and he stands around looking smug like, I’m getting paid for this shit because I’m the most well-known actor in it.

Then the movie drags and drags and drags.

Of course the two hot detectives get sucked deeper into the lives of the vampires before the big final battle, which once again feels like a really cheesy vampire show—most likely on SyFy—that wouldn’t last more than a season.

WICKED ONES (2020)

I’m a big fan of The Wicked One and it’s gritty, low budget, retro vibe, so when I heard the sequel was coming, I had mixed feelings. Yay because the Wicked One is back for more, but uh-oh because sequels to indie movies tend to be a bit less inspired than the original.

I’ll say right up front what disappointed me here. Two kids murder their family after being inspired by the Wicked One serial killer.

They get locked away for ten years, then break out and return to the same town…serving as the Wicked One’s crazy accomplices! Say what? Too many killers sure do spoil the effect of a lone, mysterious, masked killer.

The other disappointment for me is that the film doesn’t take place on Halloween. Copycat killers and the real killer would most likely kill on the anniversary of the original murders, and the first film was a Halloween horror film! This is just some random day.

The surviving couple from the first movie now has a son and daughter. The son is in a band and is playing a gig, so the whole family attends. We’re subjected to way too much raw footage of the band playing while everyone in the audience dances to the beat of entirely different songs. That really drives me nuts in movies.

For a while we get a serviceable slasher—kids at the gig go off to have sex, the killers hack them up with practical gore effects. Yay!

Things shift gears when the main characters are abducted, tied up, and terrorized by the brother and sister killers, the brother played by indie horror king Jason Crowe.

At the same time, the mother sees a ghost that warns her of the killer’s return, so a rescue party is formed to go save the kids. There are also flashbacks to fill in the Wicked One’s backstory. There is too much going on and it loses that special something the first film delivered. And don’t even ask me what’s going on here.

BABY FRANKENSTEIN (2018)

This is virtually a family movie, and it’s quite fun for a simple indie with the most basic plot and a charming cast of characters. And this is a Halloween movie, so it gets a slot on my holiday horror page.

The comparisons to E.T. are warranted. A young man and his mom move into a new house and he finds a little green guy up in the attic.

He and his girlfriend spend the film trying to keep “Baby Frankenstein” hidden from the mother’s jerk boyfriend, who wants to capture him for a handsome reward.

They show Baby Frankenstein the town: taking him bowling, playing ball, shopping with him for a Halloween costume, and of course trick or treating on Halloween night as the mom’s boyfriend and his sidekick give chase.

It’s goofy, it’s funny, it’s cute, and the actors look like they’re having a good time not trying too hard or overacting, which makes them all feel very natural.

Adding to the laid-back vibe is the soundtrack, comprised entirely of songs by awesome new wave band Death Valley Dreams. They will definitely be getting played on my Future Flashbacks show.

 

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