Five from the early 1970s

They came from the same time period as The Exorcist and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but don’t expect them to live up to the two iconic films of the genre from that era.

THE DUNWICH HORROR (1970)

Based on a Lovecraft story before it became trendy in the 80s, this one stars Sandra Dee. I’ve been singing a song about her for over forty years, yet I think this is the first time I’ve actually seen one of her movies.

Sandra plays a college student given the fricking Necronomicon by her professor to return to the library. WTF?

Some dude with evil intentions picks her up, hypnotizes her into going home with him, and plans to use her for some sort of ritual to open a gate that allows a species from another dimension to enter earth because…why not?

It’s intangible and convoluted enough to make me dislike it as much as anything else by Lovecraft. Blech.

Worst of all, there’s a monster lurking around the dude’s house attacking people, but we never see it, just its POV, which is simply represented by the screen image flashing in solid blocks of color. It gave me flashbacks to colliding with death in every old Atari 2600 video game I ever played.

CARNIVAL OF BLOOD (1970)

As low budget as can be, this early entry in the slasher arena gets all its grit from the fact that it was filmed at the always decrepit and low-brow Coney Island, the perfect setting for a horror movie.

The almost non-existent plot leaves us with a repetitive series of events. Someone plays the dart game at the carnival, where they get into a verbal altercation with the two guys that run the booth. Then they go to a wacky fortune teller who, ironically, has a picture of Jesus in her den of the occult. After that, the person is killed. Rinse and repeat.

Stringing the kills together is a main character that convinces his girlfriend to hang around the carnival with him to investigate the murders.

Surprisingly, veteran actor Burt Young is one of the guys at the dart booth. As for the victims, it feels like they were people the filmmakers just approached at Coney Island while shooting and said, “Hey, wanna be in a movie?”

It’s that bad. However, there are a few gory kill scenes, like the killer pulling out one victim’s guts and digging out another’s eyeballs. Also, the death scenes are usually interspersed with clips of some freaky looking animatronic dummies in the fun house.

Notable is the oddly forced but very classic presentation of childhood trauma that apparently led to the psychotic killing spree.

TERROR AT RED WOLF INN (1972)

The director of Nightmare in Wax delivers a precursor to the many backwoods cannibal family movies that are still terrifying groups of kids heading into the woods to this day.

A college girl wins a trip to “Red Wolf Inn”. She’s picked up by a strange dude that she ends up falling for. He also happens to be the grandson of the quirky old couple that runs the inn.

At first there are several girls staying at the place, and they all feast on meaty meals each night. Uh-oh.

Not as gory as you might expect, this is a fairly tame take on cannibal crazies. Not a whole lot of gore or violence, and while the old couple is zany, it’s the grandson who is fricking insane a shark scene on the beach is particularly disturbing). But he may just be the main girl’s chance to escape being dinner.

Due to its trailblazing concept, I’m surprised it doesn’t get any recognition today, and it especially needs a Blu-ray release, because the crappy DVD releases look worse than a VHS tape and is also the edited version.

HOUSE OF THE LIVING DEAD (1974)

With all this one has going on, it should be a blast. There’s an African plantation, voodoo natives, and a deformed mad scientist performing experiments to keep the soul alive outside the body—first on animals, then on humans.

His brother brings his fiancée to live in the family home, where she is subjected to his crazy mother and bizarre occurrences.

Despite a Night of the Living Dead/House of the Dead mashup title, this isn’t a zombie film. There’s barely any horror at all as the fiancée’s fear simply spins out of control the more she learns about what’s really going on in the home.

Only the final act delivers a fast, psychotic amount of horror and some twists. It’s macabre, it’s gothic, and it’s an absolute raucous mess, but it’s better than anything else that happens during the movie.

CHOSEN SURVIVORS (1974)

This lost film of the 1970s is so unexpected in every way that I’m surprised it doesn’t get more recognition. Honestly, when I began playing the DVD, I was thinking it was going to suck, but it totally drew me in.

A small group of people is whisked away by a helicopter and brought to a minimalistic, desolate, futuristic looking underground facility. A woman on a large monitor tells them they have been chosen to continue the human race after a thermonuclear war has devastated the planet.

I expected long scenes of excessive character development, but instead it’s not long before we are exposed to the real horror of the movie—bats are somehow sneaking their way into the sealed up facility.

That’s right. This is a killer fricking bat movie! It’s sort of like The Birds underground…with bats. There are plenty of bat attacks, freakish close-ups of actual bats, some gore, tensions between the characters, and a desperate escape attempt to up the action in the final act.

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Back to the 80s: Silent Madness vs. Don’t Panic

The 80s really will never end, as even someone like myself, who worked in a mom and pop video store for years and had cable throughout the 80s, is still treated to obscure movies I’ve never seen as they are being released on Blu-ray. This time it’s thanks to the latest releases from Vinegar Syndrome. So let’s see if blind buys Don’t Panic and Silent Madness were worth adding to my movie collection (of course they were, since they’re from the eighties).

DON’T PANIC (1988)

This totally 80s movie comes from the director of Cemetery of Terror and Grave Robbers, and is basically a Euro horror rip-off of Witchboard.

A teen gets a Ouija board from his friends on his birthday. They use it, and he immediately begins having nightmares and daymares of bloody murder.

Then there’s a segment of him having a romance with a girl he likes, which really slows down the pacing.

Then things become disjointed. We start to assume that he is actually possessed and doing the killing (his eyes glow red constantly), but it seems to him that a zombie/demon version of his friend is actually the one going around town killing the people that are important to him.

There’s also a face that comes out of the white snow on his TV screen every once in a while to warn him of impending doom.

Definitely not the best of the 80s, but Don’t Panic has some blood, some sex, a cheesy 80s music score, and plenty of awesome 80s fashions, including tight guy jeans.

SILENT MADNESS (1984)

You would think this lost slasher of 1984 would be a total no budget affair with completely unknown faces, but it was not only originally released in 3-D and now released that way on Blu-ray, it also features the older woman from Creepshow and The Exorcist III as a sorority housemother, the short guy with glasses from The Unseen and Carrie as the sheriff, and the muscle guido from Sleepaway Camp as the first victim.

The 3-D is as goofy good as it gets from back then, with nice depth and various weapons being thrust right at the camera, and there are plenty of unique kills. The plot is as common as it gets from back then, but unfortunately the unfolding of events is horribly paced.

A psycho is accidentally released from a mental institution because his first and last names are the reverse of the dude they were supposed to set free. One female staff member decides to find him while the hospital tries to cover up the mistake.

Way too much time is focused on the leading lady hunting him down, but eventually she tracks him to…wouldn’t you know it…a sorority house.

It’s not until 65 minutes in that the kills really start coming on strong. This isn’t a masked psycho, but he does seem oddly invulnerable. For instance, at one point the leading lady electrocutes his ass good and he just keeps coming. I guess years of taking the cattle prod at the hospital built up his immunity.

Anyway, she gets a super long chase scene with plenty of body reveals, and there are even two crazy paramedics from the mental hospital chasing after her. The killer motivation is rather predictable at this point, but it sure is fun to experience an old 80s slasher for the first time. Even the Dragon’s Lair video game plays a role in one of the kills.

 

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GAY HORROR FICTION: two novels and an anthology to keep you reading

Get ready to read as I take on three queer horror fiction titles: Plank Children, Seasons Bleedings, and Darker than Night.

PLANK CHILDREN by Michael Schutz

Author Michael Schutz manages to give us a gay protagonist whose sexual identity isn’t the focal point of the story, yet does play subtlety crucial parts in his horrific predicament.

After the end of a relationship and the loss of his beloved nephew in an accident, Miles visits his drunken sister and her husband…who tell him that their son’s body was misidentified and he’s still alive.

Miles tracks his nephew down to a reformatory for boys that is run by a skeleton crew. His hopes of gathering his nephew and getting out of there are dashed when a snowstorm makes it impossible to leave.

So begins Miles’s decent into a hellish existence with the creepy staff, ghostly apparitions, and devilish young boys. The horrific behaviors and treatment he must endure as he tries to figure out a way to escape only turn more and more brutal when the “headmaster” of the reformatory learns of his attraction to men. It’s truly a classic tale of a main character being held against his will and experiencing terrifying events as the true history of his prison starts to unfold.

SEASON’S BLEEDINGS by Bryan Michael Ellis

This slasher novel follows the most traditional template of the slasher movie genre. This is not a whodunit—the killer is immediately identified in the opening then returns to the scene of the crime years later just for the fun of killing again.

In this case, the scene is a house now inhabited by a family loaded with dysfunction, which we learn character by character as family members arrive to spend the holidays together.

The reason for this season’s bleedings is to get your Christmas slasher fix with the added treat of having a gay final boy. Not everyone in the family is welcoming of the gay son and his boyfriend, yet they are the healthiest couple in the bunch. All the straighties are a hot mess…and the gays are the only ones that have hot sex. Twice!

Of course exploitative sex is just one of the ingredients we expect from our slashers, and the rest is added to the mix as well. The killer wears a creepy nutcracker mask and uses jingle bells as a calling card, plus there are plenty of gory holiday-themed kills, chases, and body reveals.

DARKER THAN NIGHT

This collection doesn’t specify on the jacket or interior that it’s an LGBTQ horror anthology, yet almost every story contains queer characters and themes. The collection also features stories by two of my fellow author friends, Eric Andrew-Katz and H.L. Sudler. Yay!

Here is a breakdown of the tales:

“The Hunt” by Caleb Howell
A young man is coerced to go hunting in the woods with his dad. When they become separated, the real hunt begins.

“When Gods Wept” by Eric Andrews-Katz
A priest’s witch hunt targeting beautiful men he considers tempters of sin backfires.

“The Townhouse” by David Helms
A man finds himself drawn into tragedy that took place at an infamous location he is touring.

“Mother Comes to Visit” by Danny Baird
A gay man’s nightmarish mother-in-law isn’t exactly a welcome guest.

“The Dark of Bryan Awel” by Rhidian Brenig Jones
One gay man comes to an old building to verify it’s not haunted…while another gay man comes to contact ghosts.

“Sandman” by H.L. Sudler
A single father’s young son draws shocking pictures in school that prove to be catastrophically more disturbing than could be imagined.

“Wedlock” by John Adams
A brief tale of a man who is drawn into a marriage with a man he doesn’t love.

“Danny Granger Enters Infinity” by James R. Lynch
A night at a bar becomes a journey into repressed memories for a man when he hooks up with a familiar yet mysterious hottie….

“An Exercise in Empathy” by Michelle D. Ring
A student doing an invasive sharing exercise with their classmate experiences the other student’s darkest fears.

“The Sunflowers” by Ollister Wade
A surreal exploration of lesbian love.

“To Stitch a Heart” by Andrew Phoenix
A kindly vampire is determined to heal a zombie boy’s heartache.

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3 more holiday horrors for December 2020

I thought I’d seen it all for this season with my 2020 Christmas horror roundup blog, but SyFy and Shudder came through at the last minute with more Christmas horror to get us through the season and to add to the holiday horror page. Let’s get right to them.

TOYS OF TERROR (2020)

The director of the Halloween film Boys in the Trees goes for a much more mainstream film with this killer toy Christmas movie.

When a family comes to live at a big mansion, the kids find a box of contemporary toys in the attic–including a video game system. Pretty soon, these toys are coming to life and causing the young kids to act like the little devils from the Addams Family.

Meanwhile, the teenager daughter doesn’t seem to realize that the horror video game cartridge she starts playing features characters that look like her family…and that the ways in which characters die in the movie start becoming reality.

Sure it’s a silly, predictable killer toy movie, but it’s got plenty of Christmas spirit (the Christmas tree scene is the best), and when the toys break into a stop motion song and dance number that would make the Misfit Toys feel even more inadequate, the true campiness comes through…especially silly considering how detached the toys look from the scenery behind them.

A CREEPSHOW HOLIDAY SPECIAL (2020)

After that atrocious “animated” Halloween special comprised entirely of still artwork, it’s so good to get a live action Christmas special.

Adam Pally of the popular, prematurely canceled sitcom Happy Endings comes to a support group for shapeshifters, because he’s convinced he is turning into something, he just doesn’t know what.

Support group leader Anna Camp and the other members help him out…just in time for them to discover that Santa knows that they’ve been naughty.

It’s campy, there are plenty of winks to classic horror, the cast is fun, and although it takes a while, the episode finally delivers a blast of Christmas and a bunch of monsters. But perhaps the greatest gift of all is this hunk.

LETTERS TO SATAN CLAUS (2020)

This is possibly the holiday horror winner of the year for me. Although it premiered as a SyFy original, hopefully it will come to DVD so I can add it to my collection.

A spoof on Hallmark and Lifetime Christmas movies, it stars actress Karen Knox, who rox in the leading lady role. I found her very reminiscent of Jessic Rothe of Happy Death Day fame.

She’s a Grinchy news reporter sent to her hometown to cover a family holiday festival even though she hates Christmas, hates religion, and hates the thought of being a mother.

Unfortunately, when she was a child she accidentally misspelled the most important word in a letter to Santa and summoned Satan. Now, she mockingly writes to Satan again…and does the same thing.

This time Satan, who looks like Krampus and laughs like Phyllis Diller, comes to kill off all her friends in festive ways. This film totally delivers on the holiday spirit and the campy kills.

It also delivers on a revolving door of gorgeous guys that are hot for our leading lady. Not to mention, she has a cute gay BFF, and most importantly, he gets the guy and they make it to the end of the movie, landing this funny festive fearfest on the holiday horror page and the does the gay guy die? page.

 

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Backwoods horrorthon!

It’s time for one full-length feature just released on Blu-ray, and two short films from an indie directors that are supposedly connected but didn’t really seem to be to me.

PLAGUE TOWN (2008)

Overall, this film is a disjointed and sloppy, but damn if it isn’t fantastically atmospheric and vicious when it gets to its main plot point: killer kids.

The opener gives us all we really need to know about what’s to come; a priest is about to shoot a newborn he calls an abomination, but the family has other plans for its future.

We then meet a family just meandering through the Irish countryside exploring their heritage. There’s a husband, wife, daughter with emotional problems, and daughter who hooks up with a guy she meets along the way, who then joins them on their journey.

The family fails to get back to the tour bus in time and ends up trapped in the woods overnight. That’s when the ghastly children, some in masks, some looking like zombies, most looking more like teenagers, come out of the shadows and start absolutely mutilating cast members. For me, they were really much more frightening than most of the famous hordes of freak children of horror cinema.

It’s the lack of clarity that adds to their ominous presence. They seem to be void of any purpose beyond being horribly cruel. And all the sadistic and gruesome torture is presented with muted sound that makes the scenes all the more unnerving.

On top of that, when the two sisters come together to battle the little devils, they actually become a fun pair of tough bitches.

THE PIG WITCH: REDEMPTION (2009)

This short film runs just over 40 minutes long, and for me it shows the major potential of director and star William Sikora…who also happens to look quite delectable without a shirt on for a good portion of the film.

His character is receiving backlash after a video he shot of him and some friends being terrorized by a robed, pig-faced being in the woods goes viral. Many consider it a hoax, while others believe he captured the elusive pig witch legend on film.

A year later, he finds himself back in the same spot, being terrorized by the pig witch once again.

As simple and basic of a backwoods horror as this is, I found the execution highly effective, including the look, movements, and sounds of the pig witch, the fact that most of the suspense takes place during the day, a fantastic moment when the pig witch lurks outside a car in the rain at night, and the main character’s highly motivated attempt to capture the pig witch. I would love to see this one turned into a full-length feature.

SPIRITS OF THE PINES (2006)

It was while looking up William Sikora’s filmography on IMDb that I saw he had made this film before The Pig Witch, which is described as the continuation of this story. However, other than a main character meeting a supernatural force in the woods, these seem to have no connection whatsoever.

In this 51-minute movie, a pediatrician and her sizzling hot man go on a road trip. When their car breaks down in a deserted area, she begins to see a young girl in the woods and instinctively attempts to help her. There are also flashbacks to a dude being killed in a house they stumble upon, but it never became clear to me what it all meant.

The hot man just vanishes from the film without us even seeing how, and the main girl ends up in a mental institution because no one believes her about the encounter. So she escapes and returns to the scene, where she is plagued by visions of Native Americans…and the same ghost girl.

Attempting to create a Native American legend, this film simply doesn’t come together in a clear and concise way…or deliver any scares for that matter. I much prefer The Pig Witch, and I’m glad I saw that first, because I wouldn’t have bothered to check it out had I seen this film first.

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THE HORRORS OF HOLIDAY MUSIC

Do you have more of a jaded, dark, mean-spirited, cynical, or downright scary attitude even during this joyous season? If so, here are a handful of tunes that may be perfect for getting you through the most wonderful time of the year. If you have some favorites of your own, let me know in the comments.

Alien Sex Fiend – Stuff the Turkey

 

All Time Low – Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass

 

Erasure – Blood on the Snow

Even this bouncy synthpop band has a dark side.

Hanoi Rocks – Dead by Xmas

The Killers – Don’t Shoot Me Santa/Joel the Lump of Coal

With a name like The Killers, it’s no surprise a couple of their annual holiday songs aren’t exactly uplifting. On the bright side, Brandon Flowers is hot in an ugly Christmas sweater…and when he’s tied up by Santa Claus.

 

The Kinks – Father Christmas

 

The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack – Kidnap the Sandy Claws

Leave it to Tim Burton to be cruel to Santa!

 

Bobby “Boris” Pickett – Monster’s Holiday

And you thought Bobby was just for Halloween

Wall of Voodoo – Shouldn’t Have Given Him a Gun for Christmas

Weird Al Yankovic – Christmas at Ground Zero

 

Tales from the Crypt – Have Yourself A Scary Little Christmas

If you listen to only one Christmas album each December, make it the ultimate horror holiday album from the Cryptkeeper, which includes loads of nasty little ditties, including highlights such as:

Deck The Halls With Parts Of Charlie

We Wish You’d Bury The Missus

‘Twas The Fright Before Christmas

Twelve Days Of Cryptmas

Revenge Of The Cryptkeeper

Should Old Cadavers Be Forgot

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Back to the 40s and 50s with vampires, zombies, and grave robbers

This may be the best movie marathon I’ve done yet of horror oldies from my late brother’s DVD collection, so let’s get right into them.

I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE (1943)

This 69-minute movie seriously delivers on the creepy voodoo vibe. It could be heralded for having a significant number of Black actors, but considering they all use voodoo rituals to fuck with the privileged white people in the film, it could also be interpreted as presenting Black people as evil. However, they are actually just getting revenge for the way they’ve been wronged.

A nurse is hired to help the wife of a plantation owner in the Caribbean. The wife roams the creepy house at night as if in a permanent sleepwalking state.

The nurse learns the backstory of the couple from the locals, and she decides to help heal the wife…by taking her through a frightening forest to a fricking voodoo ritual. Unfortunately, in doing so, she puts a target on her own back…and discovers that everyone around her has dark secrets.

THE BODY SNATCHER (1945)

Based on a Robert Louis Stevenson short story, The Body Snatcher deals with a popular horror theme from back then: scientists robbing graves to use the corpses for experiments. In this case the doctor means well; he’s trying to make a wheelchair-bound girl walk again.

Unfortunately, he selects Bela Lugosi as his assistant and Boris Karloff as his body snatcher! What keeps this movie’s plot moving forward is that everyone starts blackmailing each other for robbing graves when essentially they are all accomplices!

Two moments really stand out here. First, the one scene in which Karloff and Lugosi come face to face is worth the price of admission. Second, the final scene really steps up the horror, with the scientist being terrorized by a corpse he’s transporting in his coach. Awesome.

THE RETURN OF DRACULA (1958)

This little 77-minute movie is how I would have wanted my Drac flix back in the 50s, instead of all that boring period piece Hammer stuff I blogged about recently.

It’s modern day, and Drac is being hunted in Transylvania. So he boards a train, kills a dude, and assumes his identity.

This lands him in the home of long-distance relatives in the U.S. who think he’s their cousin. But they soon notice he acts kind of weird and comes and goes at odd hours.

There are some classic Dracula elements here. He avoids mirrors, he visits a victim in her room and turns her into one of his minions, he hates crucifixes, and he sleeps in a coffin. Yet we never actually see him deliver a bite or flash his teeth.

However, the final act rox because it revolves around a Halloween party! And when one of the vamp minions is staked, the film does something shocking for its time…it suddenly turns full color for an instant in a close-up of blood gushing out from around the stake. Awesome.

THE VAMPIRE (1957)

This is another delicious vampire flick from the 1950s. In this one, a doctor acquires an experimental brain pill from a deceased scientist and accidentally takes it.

The pill was made with bat blood.

EEK!

Our doctor begins having blackouts, and soon realizes that every time he does, someone dies, and puncture wounds are apparent on the necks of the deceased.

There are a satisfying number of kills, however, we once again never actually see the vampire bite anyone. Guess it was taboo back then. Even so, we eventually get to see the doc transforming into the vamp a few times and he is pretty dang creepy looking. There’s also a freaky casket opening scene that reveals a gnarly corpse inside.

This probably would have been another fave of mine if I’d been around back then.

 

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SHUDDER AND SHRIEK: a castle freak and a couple of freaks

Since I’m running out of movies to stream on every single service, two new ones that just hit Shudder were a welcome chance to blog about something. So let’s get right into the Castle Freak remake and Anything for Jackson.

CASTLE FREAK (2020)

I’ll give this remake credit…it definitely updates the vibe while touching upon basic elements of the original concept. The only real problem I had with Castle Freak 2020 is that it’s quite boring for a majority of its running time.

It opens mostly the same as the original, with a woman feeding then beating the castle freak in its lair. This woman, however, gets a welcome backstory that is revealed slowly throughout the movie–as is a more complex backstory for the Castle Freak.

Next, a blind woman and her husband come to the castle, which belonged to her deceased mother. The blind woman has dreams she believes are connecting her to her mother. She’s also convinced someone is in the castle with them.

Of course there’s someone in the castle with them! It’s the sexually repressed castle freak, who just loves watching them screw.

Those aspects take up the bulk of the movie. So what about the prostitute tit munching scene? Doesn’t happen. Instead, the castle freak meets up with a druggy in the underground tunnels and messes him up gory good.

Finally, a group of friends visits the couple. And yet…still nothing happens as we wait impatiently for the body count to start.

I’d say the last twenty minutes or so is where all the horror fun happens. It’s nasty, it has a whole new realm of plot compared to the original movie, and there are some really icky situations. If only the fun had been spread out over the span of the run time.

Note—stick around through the closing credits for a tag scene.

ANYTHING FOR JACKSON (2020)

Dare I say I didn’t expect anything from Anything for Jackson? That’s a good thing, because my lack of expectations sometimes leads to happy surprises, as is the case with this pretty damn creepy and original film.

Like a mashup of Misery and Rosemary’s Baby with the feel of dread the Overlook Hotel instilled in us in The Shining, this is the tale of an older couple that abducts a young pregnant woman.

The pair has special plans for her baby, which involves doing a ritual and reading incantations from an occult book.

Their magic goes horribly wrong, unleashing frightening entities that haunt their home.

I don’t often like when the bad guy is the protagonist because I never feel concern for them, but there is something so gullible and misguided about this couple that the terror of what they begin experiencing really comes through.

Nightmarish specters and frightening situations abound (a Halloween segment is one of my faves), but like most excellent films, this one is not without its flaws. The pacing is moving along fantastically, but suddenly things come to a screeching halt for a while when a minor character is brought to the forefront, which I personally felt disrupts the flow.

Thankfully, the final act gets back on track, drawing us in once again with the tone and atmosphere it delivered earlier on.

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Two from the 1930s, and two from the 1940s

So exactly how horrifying are these four oldies…and how much influence have they had on everything that came after them? Let’s find out.

REVOLT OF THE ZOMBIES (1936)

Amazing that this movie from almost 100 years ago features a plot that has been mimicked even in recent years during the zombie craze overkill.

It’s all very basic…turning men into zombies that can be used to do your bidding, like being your servant or fighting your battle in war! Although, in this film, the evil men just tend to make their servants into…servants.

An archaeological team is sent to Cambodia to find and destroy the secret to making zombies. What transpires is…a love triangle? Yes, the majority of this film focuses on two men competing for the love of one woman.

There are a couple of scenes in an eerie ancient structure and a trek through a dark swamp, but nothing scary goes on here. And wouldn’t you know, the zombie hocus pocus is used in an attempt to win over the girl! Oddly, Bela Lugosi’s eyes get credit for being in this film as archival footage.

INVISIBLE GHOST (1941)

Bela Lugosi can’t catch a break. Even when he’s not the ominous villain making scary faces…he’s the ominous villain making scary faces.

Here he plays a man whose wife ran away to be with another man. Little does he know she had a car accident and is being kept in hiding in the house by the gardener.

When Lugosi does finally catch sight of her, she fricking hypnotizes him into being a killer. He sneaks into bedrooms choking people out with his coat. There’s nothing scary here since there are no surprises. We know he’s the killer, we know why.

As a result, all we get is a bunch of talking and investigating by detectives until the truth is finally revealed at the end—and the conclusion just doesn’t seem fair!

THE VAMPIRE BAT (1933)

There could be nothing more satisfying than a movie from the early days of cinema that is riddled with talk about, demons, vampires, bats, blood, and more.

When dead bodies begin turning up drained of all blood, talk turns to the possibility that vampires are running rampant. But the detective on the case is skeptical.

However, there’s a loony tunes dude running around scaring people and talking about his love of bats. He is even hunted down by men with torches and hunting dogs. It’s sooooo classic horror. Not to mention, Fay Wray has a small role in the film.

The only disappointment is a conclusion that debunks the whole damn point of the plot!

THE DEVIL BAT (1940)

Many of these old horror movies seem to have two commonalities: a) the films are mostly mysteries with underlying horror themes, and b) we the viewers know all along who the bad guy is and his motivation. In other words, there are no surprises when watching the damn things.

But, hey, at least we get Bela Lugosi again, and he’s in familiar territory, playing with bats.

He is a scientist who goes through a hell of a lot of trouble to kill people from a company that made huge profits off his work. He a) creates giant bats in his lab b) creates an aftershave that makes the bats attack c) gets the aftershave into the hands and onto the bodies of his enemies, and d) unleashes his bats to go attack them.

Lugosi and the puppet bat attacks are all this silly film has going for it.

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CHRISTMAS HORROR ROUNDUP 2020

They are few and far between this year, but I did manage to hunt down a trio of new Christmas horror movies available through Prime and for rent on Amazon to add to the complete Christmas horror movie list, so let’s get right to them.

HAPPY HORROR DAYS (2020)

Much like the film Holidays, this anthology covers a full calendar year as it ticks off the holiday of each month. If I have one complaint about this one, it’s that many of the stories feel rushed, incomplete, inconclusive, or too disconnected from the holidays they represent. Here’s the breakdown of stories:

New Year’s Eve – a cool concept about the legend of Father Time needing to be reborn by inhabiting a baby born on January 1st.

St. Patrick’s Day – shot in first person POV, this short, odd little tale is…I think…about an Irish family’s ritual to anoint one of their own as “Patrick”.

Easter – this one is a stretch. It mostly plays out as a possession film, and the nod to the holiday is a family dog that wears bunny ears. WARNING/SPOILER: dog lovers won’t be happy with what takes place by the end of this one.

Fourth of July – this brutal home invasion tale is a political story that will have conservative horror fans screaming liberal propaganda, but damn if it isn’t a timely statement on race in the U.S.

Labor Day – artistic liberties are taken on the meaning of the holiday name in this tale that plays out like a mini version of the French film Inside. Unfortunately, it uses a dream loop to deliver scares, which quickly dilutes its potency.

Halloween – a couple moves into a new house…but the previous owners left something behind. It’s a really good, scary story, my fave in the bunch, and even features a fun, flamboyant weirdo. The down side? The lack of Halloween. One plastic pumpkin and one Halloween mask are all you get. Not to mention, there’s snow on the ground during outdoor scenes!

Thanksgiving – if you’ve seen Absentia, this will feel very familiar. A young woman is nagged by her mother to a) stop smoking, and b) go get a can of cranberries. This requires traveling through one of those creepy pedestrian tunnels under a road…

Hanukkah – yay to including a Hanukkah story, but a big what the hell were they thinking? to the fact that it’s a tale of two women fighting over a Jewish man for his money?

Christmas – a young girl is terrorized by a Santa that comes knocking when she’s home alone. Nothing new here, but it does what a simple killer Santa story needs to do. Plus, there’s an appearance by gay horror film creator Michael Varrati!

THE NIGHTS BEFORE CHRISTMAS (2020)

This is a sequel to Once Upon a Time at Christmas, one of my faves from a previous December Christmas horror roundup. At the time I watched the first film, the sequel had been announced as Twice Upon a Time at Christmas. I would have preferred that title for this direct sequel, because the title The Nights Before Christmas makes it feel very detached from the first movie.

The crazy Claus couple from the first film is back, and once again deliver the goods with fantastic performances, although this time Mrs. Claus doesn’t get as much screen time.

While the first film was more of an authentic slasher, the sequel focuses heavily on two FBI agents hunting down the killers.

I just can’t get drawn in as much when too much time is spent on those hunting the psycho…unless it’s Donald Pleasance tracking Michael Myers. Too much investigative focus takes me out of the terror of the stalker/slasher/killer aspects.

Having said that, the hack n slash kills are savory here, there’s plenty of Christmas atmosphere, there are good old fashioned gratuitous boobs, and like I said, psycho Santa rox.

Even though the character he was stalking in the original is back (played by a different actress), the plot and motivation are much more complex and seem way too elaborate for two freshly escaped mental patients to pull off, to the point of distraction. But it makes more sense by the end of the film, even though it still relies too heavily on the viewer’s suspension of disbelief.

That’s not to say I can’t wait for the announced third film, currently announced as One Christmas Night in a Toy Store. Awesome.

DEATHCEMBER (2020)

This anthology opens with sweeping visuals in a cemetery and music reminiscent of the Tales from the Crypt theme. There is no wraparound, so it jumps right into the stories, all of which are brief.

The good and bad news is that the film is 131 minutes long. Good news: 26 stories, so you’re sure to find a bunch you like. Bad news: 26 stories, so you’re sure to find a bunch you don’t like. There are a variety of styles from numerous countries and in varying languages. Personally, I enjoyed the quickies that keep the month at the forefront while delivering on camp, creepiness, dark humor, gore, or the good old Creepshow zinger style ending. Some stories try too hard to make you think, causing you to think too hard and still not get what they were going for. Others seem to totally overlook the fact that this is a movie focused on December.

Here are some of the highlights for me:

  • a gluttonous kid that eats all the advent calendar candy in one sitting gets taught a very hard lesson.
  • yay! This dark comedy clip is from gay horror creator Michael Varrati, and features Final Destination creator Jeffrey Reddick and horror queen Tiffany Shepis. She’s as “Karen” as it gets in a store, and her reaction to not getting her way rules.

  • a young man is welcomed into the home of his girlfriend for Christmas dinner, and things get slithery and icky.
  • an eco-conscious tale of a man who takes his son deer hunting.

  • indie horror king Peter Stickles in a slasher about a greedy upper class family gathering for Christmas.
  • a dad makes the mistake of using the legend of Krampus to scare his kids into behaving on Christmas.
  • horror king A.J. Bowen is a Grinch of a dad, so his son asks for Santa’s help…
  • a gruesome girl power tale of females that target a perv at a dance club.

  • a very twisted, gory, old school Euro horror style clip of 2 women that go ice skating.
  • a tale from horror queen Pollyanna McIntosh about a group of crazy carolers.
  • it’s horror queen Barbara Crampton vs. a psycho Santa.

  • things go horribly wrong when a stripper Santa drops in for Christmas.

Note that the closing credits begin rolling with 19 minutes remaining, but there’s another tale midway through them, and another at the end of them.

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