You’re usually either a longtime fan of Full Moon Features because they make you nostalgic for the 90s, or you think they’re total trash because you weren’t around when they dominated the horror section at the local video store. Personally, I needed a fix of Charles Band cheese, so I checked out four flicks he directed himself that I hadn’t seen.
DECADENT EVIL (2005)
Would you believe Band resurrected the Subspecies series to make a new movie that hasn’t the slightest hint of the same style as that popular vampire franchise? Well, not exactly true. The first 10 minutes of this 67-minute movie are a recap of the 1997 Subspecies spin-off Vampire Journals. After that, this is in no way a gothic/romance horror like the franchise that spawned it. It’s a pure 90s Full Moon throwback.
The setup is supposed to be that a minion of the main vampire from Vampire Journals escaped Europe and has set up home in a strip club/whorehouse in the U.S. and is now the queen of a vampire brothel.
A Full Moon money shot
She also has a little humanoid critter in a cage. One of her girls is having an affair with a mortal man. Horror icon Phil Fondacaro is a vampire hunter looking to take down the queen.
With only 57 minutes to spare after the first 10 minutes of “flashbacks”, there’s not much here beyond some vamp biting, sex, and the little critter slobbering all over a vampire whore like something out of a Full Moon Puppet Master movie.
The simple plot culminates in a revelation about Phil’s character, a second, female critter being created, and the two critters having sex. Seriously. The final scene is two critters fucking.
DECADENT EVIL II (2007)
Running 80 minutes long, this sequel has a slightly more intricate story than the first film, but it’s still one of those Full Moon movies you watch while wondering the whole time why you are watching it…and why you can’t stop.
Phil’s character returns, but Phil has been replaced by a different actor, which is a bummer.
The inter-mortal couple from the previous film is back (same actors), and this time they’re teaming up with the critter to help him find vampire blood to resurrect his dead son. So, they go undercover at a strip club where there are signs of vampirism.
Typical Full Moon shenanigans unfold, with vamp attacks, stripping, and nudity. However, this time the vampire is a vampire king, and he’s ghoulish looking instead of sexy and seductive. Also, his minion vampires get an upgrade—they have glowing eyes.
Eventually, the main characters are apprehended by the vamps for a low budget battle, and Phil’s character comes to save the day. I really wish it had been Phil playing the part.
Oh. And the critter finishes the film with sex again. Only this time he’s fucking a woman, not another critter. Why is Charles Band so obsessed with grotesque puppets sexually assaulting women?
DEATH STREAMER (2024)
At least Band knows he shouldn’t make his throwaway flicks longer than 80 minutes long. This one has a 73-minute runtime.
A vampire has embraced the modern age, using special camera glasses to live-stream his bloodsucking to his secret circle of viewers. In every case, his footage consists of his minions (including a big old gimp) taking a woman to a room with just a bed in it then tearing off her blouse so he can bite her.
In between his vamp attacks, a trio of influencers that focus on true gothic horror stories catches wind of one of his videos and delves into his past to figure out what he’s larger motives are, which compels them to give his videos a much wider reach…
The vampire doesn’t like the free exposure and eventually comes for them…in the church from which they broadcast. Don’t ask me how a vampire can enter a church, but he does for the brief, final battle.
That’s about it. This is mostly just a boobs and blood vampire flick.
QUADRANT (2024)
Yay! It’s another one that runs only 73 minutes long! Depending on where you stream it, Quadrant is available in color with black and white scenes during the virtual reality clips in Jack the Ripper’s heyday, or a “noire” version that is entirely in black and white. Personally, I think the old Wizard of Oz switcheroo works better here.
A team has created an AI helmet that allows users to face their fears and empower themselves by conquering those fears. Problem is, one young woman is not actually afraid of Jack the Ripper…she’s obsessed with him. Once she travels back in VR time to face him, she opts to help him out instead of defeating him!
However, her killing isn’t contained to virtual reality. Her dark side seeps into real life, and the killing continues. An entertaining approach to a simple slasher, it’s as hokey as most Full Moon movies, but there are boobs, blood, and melodrama.
While the Ripper scenes aren’t scary, there are actually some cool sequences involving another guy’s VR visits to a forest full of freaky demons. That kind of became the movie I’d rather see.
The Ripper story is at its most fun when the main girl starts to basically morph into him, giving off a half-man, half-woman vibe. Awesome.
