It’s never too early to start preparing for the holiday horror season, and I’ll be adding most of these to the holiday horror page, but should they be added to your must-see list? Let’s find out.
SANTASTEIN (2023)
Much like Lisa Frankenstein, Santastein is a really well-made, light teen horror flick that somehow felt to me like it was lacking something.
I love the plot. As a young boy, our main kid set up a booby trap to catch Santa to prove he was real. Unfortunately, things went horribly wrong and he killed Santa instead.
As a teenager, he’s a science geek and manages to bring a rat back to life while doing a school project, so he decides to right his wrong by resurrecting Santa.
He plants Santa’s brain into another man’s corpse and uses the classic streak of lightning technique to bring him to life. Of course Santa isn’t exactly the jolly old man he used to be and sets off on a killing spree.
The movie attempts to be quirky and humorous, but the tone doesn’t quite hit the mark. Plus, despite much of the movie revolving around a teen party, which just begs for a major massacre of teens by Santastein, he instead sort of goes off and kills a whole bunch of other people instead. Huh?
There also happens to be a closeted gay character, and when he is caught in bed with another guy, not only is the moment cloaked in darkness like something dirty that dare not be seen, but the character that catches them has a rather homophobic reaction, laughing mockingly and relishing the chance to run and tell everyone what she’s seen. Even though her reaction is in part because the closeted dude was a douche to her previously, the idea that she has the power to ruin his life by revealing he’s gay seems quite dated. Even so, the gay dude’s sexuality is never addressed again, and he does become part of the final group of survivors that must stop Santastein once and for all, therefore, I’m adding this one to the does the gay guy die? page.
There are some meta moments as well. For instance, Santastein says “naughty!” before killing his victims, as Santa does in Silent Night, Deadly Night. Plus, the best kill in an otherwise lackluster series of death scenes is a nod to the tongue to the pole scene from A Christmas Story. Awesome.
CHRISTMAS CRAFT FAIR MASSACRE (2022)
It’s not often I say this, but I would advise avoiding this one. It’s just not worth the time. The acting and dialogue together are a recipe for low budget disaster, because the whole story is told through the characters in a cult discussing their plans to sacrifice a pure soul at a Christmas craft fair at a local high school.
The movie runs 71 minutes, yet there isn’t a sign of Christmas until 40 minutes in.
There are kills by a masked goon that works for the cult leader, but there’s no gore, just blood splashes and cheap plastic and rubber body parts you’d find in a Halloween shop.
I will give the creators props for somehow managing to insert a few flashes of genuinely effective horror visuals that, when used as screen grabs, make it look like you might actually be getting something worthwhile here. Don’t be fooled. Just skip it.
GRANNY KRAMPUS (2024)
Another one to add to the list of indie Krampus movies that have followed in the wake of the main Krampus movie from 2015. It’s been nearly a decade, and I think Krampus’s day has come and gone, but we’re still getting Krampus films. This time around it’s Granny Krampus!
Granny Krampus looks pretty cool despite clearly being a mask, which might explain why we rarely ever get to see her in this film. Personally, I’d rather have had more low budget Granny Krampus face than barely any face at all, because with barely any Granny Krampus face, there’s barely any horror action.
She even gets a great characteristic…she walks with a cane, so her boots and cane clunk on the floor as she stalks victims. If only that highlight hadn’t been presented just one damn time in the whole movie.
Instead of oodles of horror, we become entrenched in the melodrama of a family that has been estranged and is coming together for the holidays at granny’s house (real granny, not Granny Krampus).
The heavy focus on family relations drags on too much, but the whole point of it all is to amaze us with the twist at the end. I feel we still could have been shocked by the twist with more Granny Krampus and less gabbing.
Strangely enough, while this isn’t in any way connected to any of the other low budget Krampus movies, it actually uses some footage from Mother Krampus (2017) as part of its Granny Krampus lore. What the hell?
FINAL GIRL: HALLOWEEN (2024)
I have a feeling this movie added two minor references to Halloween into the final edit so the holiday could be included in the title to drum up more interest. It really is not a holiday horror movie, and therefore I won’t be adding it to the holiday horror page.
The opener is a goodie, with a masked, hooded killer taking out a bunch of kids at a cabin in the woods at a rapid pace. It’s like a whole slasher jammed into ten minutes.
The final girl survives, there’s talk of Johnny Baxter, a guy who went on a rampage in the 70s when his girlfriend cheated on him, and everyone at school starts mocking and taunting the main girl, even dressing up like the killer and terrorizing her in school. It’s all very Scream.
So, what are the hints that it’s Halloween? There’s a voiceover news report mentioning it’s Halloween, and then we see a few Halloween decorations in the office of the final girl’s therapist. The holiday is never mentioned again, and the next time she goes to the therapist the Halloween decor is gone.
People start getting killed off and…well…that’s about it. It’s a pretty simple, traditional slasher. It’s not the most memorable one you’ll ever see, but it does a pretty decent job of ticking off all the right slasher boxes. The conclusion even takes place at a “Johnny Baxter stabathon”. The weakest part of the movie is the killer motivation.
