Time to point those cameras and run screaming again. As derivative as they are, I did have a favorite of this trio of found footage flicks.
SHE WALKS THE WOODS (2019)
While this one uses the basic found footage flick template, with not much happening for a majority of its 81 minutes, the payoff in the last 20 minutes is so worth it.
We get a taste of what’s in store for the main cast when the film opens with footage of some hunters getting attacked by something in the woods. Good thing they had cameras, too.
Our main group consists of three guys and one girl going to a cabin in the woods to film their survivalist show.
They do some show footage, they talk around a campfire, one guy hooks up with the girl, they hear noises at night, they hike into the woods…
And then the she-creature strikes. Holy shit is the first attack so perfectly orchestrated.
Things move fast after that. The survivors try to make a run for the cabin, they make stupid decisions (like wondering if they should really go back to the cabin), they argue, and they get viciously killed off one by one. And that fucking cabin is all windows, which had my nerves on end.
Okay, maybe they shouldn’t have gone back to the cabin, but they’re still dumb enough not to barricade the damn door once they get back inside.
The she-creature is scary as hell and looks great in the few clips in which we get to see her in action. Totally worth the watch.
THE HEM (2024)
This 78-minute movie tries to use the standard found footage template, but it fails in every individual aspect. There is absolutely no suspense, mystery, or sense of foreboding here, despite the potential of the premise.
A crew doing a documentary on a church that burned down in a small town is met by tight lips and people walking away when they try to interview them. So much for getting any insight into what occurred there.
They then go to the derelict church to do some filming.
I am telling you, they walk around exploring until 38 minutes into the movie, and the creepiest part is the discovery of a sewing room with wedding dress forms.
There’s little in the way of discovery to build a lore behind the initial tragedy at the church and what the bridezilla’s whole issue is.
At the halfway mark, they get separated. There is no dread or urgency as each individual eventually comes across a fleeting glimpse of a bride. This movie is so stale.
With fifteen minutes left, cops show up, and one of them is George Hardy of Troll 2 fame. Their segment, which looks like a first-person shooter video game, is better than the rest of the movie, and we finally see the vicious bride up close. The denouement is flat and fast, and then the church burns down…again.
There’s a silly final frame scene, but it is even weaker than the rest of the film. Unlike She Walks the Woods, this climax doesn’t make the movie worth watching.
DEVON (2024)
This is it. The “biggie” in the bunch because it’s directed by JWoww of Jersey Shore. The one in which you can tell JWoww just watched the most basic found footage films and said, “I can do that…exactly like that.”
Be warned. The audio is terrible (I turned on subtitles), and the editing is totally spastic, so I wasn’t able to get any clear still shots of any of the ghosts. Actually, I was barely able to see any of the ghosts in the movie at all.
It opens with a sobbing woman being interviewed in a police station. These interrogation clips are interspersed throughout the film as she recounts what happened….
Next, we meet a variety of people that have signed up to investigate an old asylum where a young girl disappeared twenty years before. This one lands on the does the gay guy die? page, because one of the guys is gay. He also ticks every gay affectation check box in the book, as if he’s auditioning to be on RuPaul’s Drag Race. Quite the caricature compared to the other characters.
Anyway, the participants arrive at the derelict asylum with cameras attached to their bodies. They get locked in, are bombarded by bogus jump scares, see creepy things like toys, dolls, and the little girl’s name written in blood on a wall, and eventually split up.
It’s 72 minutes of bouncing flashlights, blurry footage, darkness, screaming, running…you know the drill.
A few times we see figures flit in front of the cameras, but there’s just nothing visible enough to be scared of beyond a figure standing in a corner or a ghost crawling frenetically across the floor.
The actors were the highlight for me, because each one seems absolutely batshit terrified when they are about to die.
