It was time to catch up on some of the latest releases from prolific indie horror director Louisa Warren, and I found these three on streaming services, so let’s check them out.
RETURN OF PUNCH AND JUDY (2023)
This is not a sequel and goes by both the “Return of” title and simply “Punch and Judy”. Either way, it’s one of Warren’s more throwaway films, and the Mr. Bill vibe I was getting from the manual movements of the puppets gave me a giggle.
The plot is really simple. A grandmother tries to bury a box of evil puppets but falls ill in the process. She’s dragged back home and dumped in bed so the family can throw a birthday party for her adult granddaughter. They also bring the box of puppets back home without telling grandma.
The granddaughter’s friends show up. The puppets come to life and start lurking around the house killing guests by stabbing them and chewing on them. The sound of the chewing is so cartoonish it made me chuckle every time.
It’s sort of like the Puppet Master movies with no budget puppets, but I feel like the film should have just leaned into the campy possibilities instead of taking itself seriously. It also should have delivered gorier, unique deaths. The only standout (aside from the old blow dryer in the tub trick) is one victim having her eye gouged out.
Unless you’re a completist of Louisa Warren’s output (not sure if I’m the only one), you could probably just skip this one.
OUIJA CASTLE (2024)
Having just covered Warren’s flick Cinderella’s Curse, I’m kind of surprised she made such a similar movie in the same year. However, I think Ouija Castle is an even juicier, meaner-spirited, gorier flick that creates its own unique, hybrid fairy tale instead of specifically adapting a classic.
This scary storybook tale has the usual—a handsome prince, an evil witch/queen, a femme fatale princess character, and even a big ball.
The prince of a royal family is in love with a princess, but the evil matriarch of another family intends to get control of his kingdom by having him marry her daughter instead.
So, this witchy woman and her daughter lure the princess into their home and poison her. She falls into a deep sleep, and then the prince keeps her perfectly preserved in bed, hoping for her to revive…considering she’s pregnant!
What unfolds is a kingdom of evil fuckers doing awful, vile, and violent things to each other. But the real horror occurs when the princess awakens and is mutilated by the evil queen and her daughter in hopes that the prince will never desire her in such a horrid state.
So, the princess summons a faceless, demon fairy godmother figure using a Ouija board (the reason for the terrible title).
The demon fairy godmother gives her a mask to hide her hideousness and sends her off to a ball to get her revenge on all those that have wronged her. It really is an oddly cookie cutter version of Cinderella’s Curse, but both movies rock with practical gore effects, and they make for a great, grisly fairy tale horror double feature.
LEGEND OF LIZARD MAN (2023)
I love me a campy, rubber monster suit creature feature throwback to horror flicks of the 80s, and this one is cheesetastic with one major flaw—it’s nearly 2 hours long for no good reason.
The film opens with a family’s car breaking down on a deserted road at night. We get neon colored monster POV from the woods, along with hilarious POV from inside the monster’s mouth, complete with cheaply drawn teeth outlines.
We are then bombarded by excessive clips of news reporters, podcasters, and everyday folk talking about the legend of the lizard man, just one of numerous segments that are unnecessarily long.
Next, we meet a group heading to the swamps to investigate the legend. A pitstop at a convenience store is the next overlong segment, with the kids talking to a store clerk who is cashing in on the infamy of the legend. They also have a run-in with a redneck, as is required in every movie in which city kids head into the woods.
Another long segment involves the group around a campfire and their encounter with a supposed park ranger named Ed Gein. Seriously. However, he has no disembodied vaginas to offer—just another long monologue that drags down the pacing.
56 minutes in, the kids start getting attacked by monster mouth POV, but there is one highlight featuring a classic monster silhouette outside a tent. This scene also delivers an actual monster attack finally.
After several more kills, the group of kids encounters a survivalist in the woods who has been hunting for the monster for years…which leads to another excessive monologue. Argh.
There’s a final fight with the creature, and if I’m not mistaken, for some reason its fleeting rubber suit appearances shift to a fleeting CGI appearance suddenly. I would have taken even more CGI monster if it meant replacing the pace-killing dialogue with horror action sequences.
