Direct-to-DVD: the low-budget horror of Devin Hamilton

All I know about director Devin Hamilton is that he made three low-budget horror movies loaded with male nudity and a gay romantic comedy called Shut Up and Kiss Me.

Two of Devin’s three horror films star the gorgeous Danny Wolske, who pretty much disappeared after starring in Bleed and Birth Rite. Too bad he didn’t make a career out of being a scream king—or at least complete the trilogy of horror films Devin made by appearing in Delta Delta Die! But alas, he didn’t.

BLEED (2002)

Devin’s first horror flick Bleed is my favorite because it does a decent job of riding the wave of slashers that followed the Scream craze. It opens with a dude in drag coming from a party. Not only is there a great jump scare, but the dude gets eviscerated from crotch to chest. It’s gory! Within seconds, the killer (looking cool all in black with a plain white mask) moves on to kill b-horror vixen Julie Strain in a short but suspenseful scene. The opener is actually the best kill sequence in the whole movie.

The remainder of the film is about Danny Wolske’s relationship with his new office hire, played by Debbie Rochon. Their chemistry is incredibly natural, there’s plenty of nudity, and Rochon does an amazing job of playing a seemingly normal person who’s slightly off. The bitch goes from hot to cold in an instant…and goes home at night to celebrate her new job with parents who aren’t really there!

At a pool party LOADED with amazing man butts and even some wiener shots (if you watch closely), Debbie meets Danny’s friends. They reveal to her that they have a “murder club.” Debbie is totally intrigued. The next day, she kills a bitch who dings her car in a parking lot! Now she can be a member of the club!

Problem is, Danny and his friends were making that shit up. And soon, they’re getting offed one by one as they try to decide what to do about provoking Debbie to kill someone. You’ll really never see the bizarre twist coming in this one. It’s quite the triangle.

Brinke Stevens and Lloyd Kaufman have brief cameos in a dream sequence, but there’s an even better cameo—some dude’s amazing ass! One of Debbie’s dreams is about a totally random couple having sex. We get great shots of the stud’s pumping buns, and an even more intense clip of that bouncing booty in a deleted scene on the DVD.

BIRTH RITE (2003)

Birth Rite seems like it would have been Devin’s first flick, like something he shot on video with a bunch of friends on the weekend. Hacking twenty minutes of dialogue out would have helped, because it has it charms.

During a raid on a satanic ritual, a little girl is saved from her family/coven, who are all shot. However, one of them gets away: Danny Wolske!

12 years later, the little girl, Rebecca, is turning eighteen and living with a loving family. Her mother is Brinke Stevens, and her adorable brother is Kyle Lupo—who is also in one of my favorite slashers, Camp Slaughter!

So Rebecca suddenly sees Danny floating outside her classroom window (I could swear he’s standing on something), and immediately has the hots for him. He snaps his fingers to transport from place to place. He shows her visions of her classmates in nooses. He knows all about her real parents. He gives her a cool necklace and tells her she’s a powerful witch. All she has to do is circle the gem on her new necklace like it’s a third nipple and shit happens.

Meanwhile, her cute sister is really worried about her meeting this gorgeous stranger with the rockin’ bod. And she should be. Rebecca gets classmates to slice each other up. She gets a toilet bowl to swallow a chick. She makes another chick explode. She rips off her guidance counselor’s clothes (he has an amazing ass with a nice big birthmark) before killing him with a mirror. She also has sex with her brother. To be fair, he’s her brother through adoption. Who are we to judge? Rebecca is an evil witch in training and Kyle Lupo looks hot naked. It just makes sense.

The kills are the best part of Birth Rite. Danny Wolske barely gets naked (bummer) and his constant meetings with Rebecca in the playground give us endless cheesy dialogue about her journey to becoming a witch. It all leads up to an absurd and hysterical gymnastics/martial arts fight between Danny and Rebecca’s sister…on a tennis court.

WTF? If only the rest of the film had been this funny.

DELTA DELTA DIE! (2003)

Trashy humor. Nudity. Gore. Bad acting. It’s bad. It’s real bad. Just like it’s supposed to be. Delta Delta Die! Is sleazy fun about a sorority that kills hot young college boys and makes pies out of them for bake sales.

I see this one as more of midnight movie for the gay crowd despite an excessive number of hooters. There are campy, vampy vixens galore, delivering bitchy one-liners. Sexy slutty b-movie scream queen Julie Strain is masterful as the dominatrix housemother, and Brinke Stevens is brilliant as her nemesis. Tiffany Shepis plays one of the sorority sisters and has a sexy dance number, but she isn’t featured as much as some might like.

The male nudity rox the cox! The film opens with a dude in his undies. Throughout the film, hot, tight young bodies are stripped down and tied up, and bare asses hog the camera. A game of strip poker has the guys getting naked—and one of them has a nipple ring! During a skinny dipping scene, there’s a shameless, uncensored full-frontal shot of a beautifully muscular dude. Of course, the men also get ground into chopped meat….

I’m pretty sure the one dude who is investigating the sorority house cannibalism is supposed to be gay. It’s implied but never stated. He has that gay edge to him and shows no interest in the hot babes all around him. When he tries spying on the sorority girls, his buddy keeps pointing out that they should be spying on the girls when they’re naked, not dressed. And at one point, Julie Strain says that if Brinke Stevens doesn’t do what she commands, her “little faggot friend here gets it in the ass!”

Other great moments include the sorority girls pledging not to eat penises because they are “filled with germs and sperm!” Also, the chick who played Rebecca in Birth Rite stands out in this film in a comic role as a bar whore. Plus, her adorable sister from Birth Rite has a small role as a bubbly reporter. If only Birth Rite hadn’t taken itself so seriously, these two actresses could have had as much fun as they do in Delta Delta Die!

In the end, Brinke Stevens steals the show when she comes back for revenge. Every time she wants to take down a sorority girl, she leaps with her claws out and screams “Delta Delta Die, bitch!” Hysterical. But of course, the movie wouldn’t be complete without Brinke and Julie Strain rolling around in a huge catfight.

But alas, no Danny Wolske in this one. I don’t know what Danny and Devin are up to now, but they should come together again and make an all out gay horror film loaded with male nudity and camp!

Finally, here is my vlog about Devin’s movies: