Dinosaurs, aliens, and presidential zombies

It’s another mish-mosh of subgenres in my latest movie marathon. Let’s see if any of these flicks is worth a watch.

TRIASSIC HUNT (2021)

If only SyFy were half the bad monster movie channel it used to be, this dinosaur flick would constantly be part of an all-day Saturday dinosaur marathon. But since SyFy has no fun anymore, you have to search out these types of films on streaming.

Are you really trying to pull a Chris Pratt?

A small team is brought in by Linnea Quigley to hunt down lab-created Allosauruses that have escaped from a military facility, while Michael Pare monitors what’s going on from off site because they needed a scream queen for horror fans and a name that would appeal to GenXers…

These are some of the better looking CGI dinos you’re likely to see in an indie Jurassic craze cash-in, but it’s still all basic cheesy monster movie action, with the usual stereotypical characters and evil villains.

And of course the well-meaning good guys do their best to make everything right as they get chomped down by smart dinos genetically modified for war.

In the end it’s all about a dinosaur egg, and it’s all hokey, laughable fun.

COSMIC SIN (2021)

The writer of Breach, a zombies in space movie starring Bruce Willis that I just blogged about recently, writes and directs a movie that almost seems like it’s going to be the same exact movie…also starring Bruce Willis.

In hindsight, I kind of wish it had been, because this movie is a cosmic mess.

Some sort of “first encounter” is made on a military base, so a team comes to investigate, and it appears the people at the base have been turned into zombies or have been possessed or something.

So it’s decided an alien force is trying to attack earth and the only way to preempt the strike is to go to their planet and take them down first.

Bruce and team slip into big spacesuits…that let them just rocket through space like superheroes. Seriously, it looks like they’re flying right through the battle to destroy the Death Star. I can’t with this movie.

Then they land on a planet…that looks oddly like the woods of earth…or Endor.

And then…I don’t even know. I couldn’t focus on this film at all. If it helps, there were a lot of laser gun battles with baddies in Battlestar Galactica uniforms, along with some deeper meaning behind the invasion.

RE-ELECTED (2020)

Here’s a zomcom to add to your annual Independence Day watchlist, and naturally it’s being added to the holiday horror page here on my site.

The film is about a group of friends that goes to a cabin in the woods to celebrate the Fourth of July and has to do battle with the resurrected versions of former presidents.

If it sounds familiar, well, that’s because the zomcom Presidents Day exists, and I blogged about it ages ago.

While the two films are similar, one thing Re-elected is missing that Presidents Day had is a major gay storyline. No gay stuff here at all, but the main guy sure is a cutie.

If you check this one out, I highly suggested you stick with it. The beginning of the film feels like it’s really not going to work. The humor as written is not funny, the actors try too hard to make it work, and it often feels like they’re just spouting one-liners in hopes of hitting a good joke rather than the humor naturally flowing with the action.

However…

It’s almost like the movie was filmed in sequence—as if the actors just needed time to warm up and get into their grooves, because all of a sudden when they get their first taste of zombie president attacks in the woods, the comedy just totally clicks. The actors deliver lines and reactions with perfect timing, and the writing just feels more natural. Very odd.

The film pokes fun at false patriotism and ignorance about the actual specifics of American history, and it does a good job of remaining fairly neutral with the humor, never really taking political sides—unless you consider a jab at slavery to be divisive or liberal propaganda, in which case a) It’s obvious how you vote, and b) you’re what’s wrong with this country. See, that an example of humor that’s not impartial at all, and you don’t really find any of that in Re-elected.

This is goofy, slapstick horror comedy, with campy patriotic music and talking president zombies that bicker with the characters, so don’t expect anything frightening or for the zombie makeup to be gnarly. This film is purely for the fun of it.

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES. I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.
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