I think my headline says it all, so I’m just going to go through this trio of unapologetic short films quickly!
ZOMBIE MUSICAL (2011)
directed by Ryan McHenry
The short film “Zombie Musical” takes the concept of a musical and says, “yeah, we’ll stick musical numbers in our horror movie, but this IS a horror movie, so plan on vomiting from all the blood and guts, you musical-loving wimps!” Awesome.
It seems like it’s going to be uber campy when you watch the animated opening of zombies being killed in fun ways. But then the first scene is pure undead creepiness, with our leading lady feeding her cat in a kitchen, oblivious to the fact that there’s a gruesome zombie looking through her window. She goes out and grooves and sings on the street to a song that sounds like a Hairspray classic, while dancers back her up…and zombies eat people all around them.
Some dude wakes her up to the horror going on around her and takes an axe to a zombie. They run into the school to lock themselves away from the threat and our leading man sings a love song to her—about how she’s the only girl left, so he has no choice but to be in love with her. A jealous gym teacher overtakes them and sings a tune about what he has in store for our leading lady. But he doesn’t anticipate the zombie sneaking up behind him….
Eventually, our leading lady has to face off against hordes of zombies, using anything she can find as a weapon. This is the finale of the short film, and totally should have had her breaking into a chick arena rock tune while she kicks zombie ass, but she doesn’t. However, when she steps outside the school, she’s confronted with loads more zombies. Maybe this is where she belts one out while hacking and slashing. We’ll only know if this short gets made into the full-length feature film that is in the works! Awesome.
WATCH THE FILM:
directors: Kirk Chastain and Arthur Cullipher
Muscle hunk Marv Blauvelt stars in this repulsive psychosexual gorefest. This features hardcore mutilation of woman parts, so be warned!
This is a trippy flick about a doctor who dabbles with the dark side of an otherworldly existence and gets more than he bargained for. Any wonder Clive Barker is a fan of “Come”? There is a great sense of isolation created as this one man bites off more than he can chew and opens up a portal that allows hideous creatures to enter his life. And I’m talking a very specific portal….
See, the doctor is fascinated with cutting off women’s vaginas and sewing them onto their faces where their mouths should be. Is he really doing it, or is it a mind trip? Either way, it’s a trip for us as we are treated to some incredibly realistic and gruesome images. All I can say is, vagina faces are not fucking pretty!
Marv also plays with and mutilates this “thing” in a jar—putting it on his swelling chest, masturbating, pulling back the thing’s wet lips and fondling it’s little knob. Blech. And then it juices on him! This all leads to a repulsive conclusion. This flick might ruin the sex life of many a straight guy.
WATCH THE FILM:
And speaking of a movie ruining your sex life….
BUG CHASER (2012)
director: Ian Wolfley
“Bug Chaser” is the film to fuck up gay guys. It’s a cautionary tale about the horrors of getting a deadly venereal disease.
This dude is all hot and heavy into a hook up…but when it’s time to go all the way, the other dude informs him there’s some sort of “growth” between his butt cheeks. Immediate mental trauma!
Yes. “Bug Chaser”goes there. And it doesn’t let up. There is graphic nudity and gore as this poor dude feels his life (particularly his sex life) unraveling as this growth keeps getting bigger and more disgusting. Too afraid to go to a doctor to learn what it really is, he tries various methods to get rid of it. Oh yes. Anticipate some repulsive visuals.
And expect it to all lead up to a situation involving one of the syllables in the title of the movie. Guess which one. Indeed. “Bug Chaser” should be the number one film shown in a safe sex course for fay guys.
WATCH THE FILM on the official Bug Chaser site.
Now, I think I need to go rewatch the undead fun of “Zombie Musical” to heal the damaging effects of “Come” and “Bug Chaser.”