Made for Italian television and originally called The Houses of Doom (which is what the Blu-ray boxed set is called), these films were apparently shelved until the 90s. I’d never seen them until now, after buying the new boxed set. The only thing connecting the movies together is that they all concern people coming to the wrong house at the wrong time, which provides us with standalone horror movies in various subgenres. Cool. So which ones were my faves?
THE HOUSE OF CLOCKS (1989)
Lucio Fulci directed the first “installment”, and while it has flashes of classic Fulci gore, it definitely feels more like a TV movie than a hardcore horror flick. It also has a generally common plot—a group of thugs intends to rob a house, ends up murdering someone, and then finds out that this is no ordinary house.
We know right from the start that things are really fucked up in this house. An old couple that collects clocks lives there, and their murderous ways are presented before the thugs even arrive.
Meanwhile, the thugs are a trio of two guys and a girl, and one of the guys is a real douche. We are subjected to him sticking a cat in a plastic bag and then having to listen to it suffer. The most horrific part of the movie.
Once they arrive at the mansion, they soon kill the couple, at which point all the clocks in the house begin going in reverse. Nothing is really explained, and there’s not much in the way of scares, even though some corpses do come back to life. Plus, with only three main characters, there’s little in the way of a body count.
There is, however, an interesting premise to this time-jumping movie…the reversal of time serves as a launching pad for sweet revenge for literally everyone wronged in the movie. Too bad the supporting plot isn’t better. It’s really hard to believe this movie comes from Fulci.
THE SWEET HOUSE OF HORRORS (1989)
The second film is another Fulci flick, and he more than makes up for the disaster of the first movie. This is pure 80s Euro horror wackiness, right down to irritating, obnoxiously dubbed children. The boy even has an infamous bowl cut, a staple for boys in 80s Euro horror.
This is basically an evil kid movie. In the opening scene, a couple comes home and is brutally murdered by an intruder in an old school ski mask. This scene is filled with classic, super gory mutilation that isn’t something you’d see in a TV movie even today.
The couple’s kids end up orphaned, so their aunt and uncle come to stay in the house with them. The aunt and uncle also plan to sell the house to make money. They bring in a realtor who is immediately harmed by a supernatural presence and then spends the rest of the movie walking around with crutches, which makes for several slapstick scenes. Only thing is, I’m not sure if that is intentional or not.
Aside from one freaky scene of the aunt coming upon hanging dolls and a big fly toy that seems to come to life, which is quite creepy, this whole movie feels more like a horror comedy.
The children talk to flames that dance in the air, poltergeist winds cause havoc, and a killer excavator terrorizes the family in the gardens. I was seriously laughing during this scene.
Eventually the ghosts of the parents begin communicating with the kids and enter a couple of rocks so the kids can always carry them around. I’m not even kidding. To top it all off, the film mostly relies on that cheesy, fast-paced synth score style music of the 80s Euro horror era. This is how you do it.
THE HOUSE OF WITCHCRAFT (1989)
The third film is directed by Umberto Lenzi, who brought us Ghosthouse, Nightmare Beach, and Black Demons, and quite honestly, I like it better than both of Fulci’s installments.
It’s a killer witch slasher! Awesome!
A dude is plagued by nightmares of going into a house where he encounters an old hag boiling his head in a pot of water. He’s also struggling with the fact that his wife is obsessed with the occult and witches, so their relationship is rocky.
She suggests they take some time away together at a house in the country to try to save their marriage. He should have just called it quits the moment they get into a car accident on the way there and she insists they flee the scene…and the dead bodies.
As in most Euro horror flicks of the 80s, there ends up being the usual cast of quirky and creepy characters at the house…which turns out to be the house from the main guy’s dreams!
I was quickly so satisfied by this one, as characters began getting hacked and slashed by the evil witch. Of course, there’s some mystery embedded in the plot to keep us guessing if any of the weirdos is part of this witchy murder spree.
The witch is awesome, the kills are awesome, the setting is atmospheric, and there’s even a black cat. However, in the end, I kind of guessed early on how this one was going to turn out, and any horror veteran probably will, too.
THE HOUSE OF LOST SOULS (1989)
Umberto Lenzi is back for the final installment, and I definitely prefer his movies over Fulci’s flicks. This one is pure 80s Euro horror nonsense.
A woman with psychic powers is part of a group of environmentally conscious college students. While out doing some fieldwork, they end up at a motel with no guests and no staff beyond the manager.
The psychic begins having visions of axe murders that involve decapitation. In the meantime, everyone else is having weird experiences of their own: chandeliers that drip blood, spiders, dead bodies hanging in freezers, etc.
Slowly but surely everyone starts getting killed off by very tangible ghosts, including a little boy, an angry woman, a Hare Krishna dude, and more.
There’s some fun gore, including a killer washing machine and a killer dumbwaiter, and as the survivors try to stay alive, they are eventually chased by the bevy of ghosts that come across more like zombies and were all victims of decapitation. The only way to stop them? Find the heads of the dead to free their souls. Awesome.
