Any indie filmmakers out there looking to create low-budget trash cinema? Here’s an 80s double feature to motivate you.
HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS (1988)
Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer, Gunnar “Leatherface” Hansen, and Jay Richardson are quite the cast. And with a name like Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, you would expect it to be pretty hardcore grindhouse insanity, right?
Surprisingly, this cult classic is pretty tame. Jay Richardson is the detective. Gunnar Hansen owns the strip club. His ladies like to hack guys up with chainsaws. Awesome. Thing is…there are only two chainsaw kills! But they’re campy fun, with naked chicks wielding the weapon, getting splashed with blood, and having fake body parts tossed at them.
When the detective gets too close to the truth of what’s really going on at the club, Gunnar and his gals plan to do away with him. But the detective has some inside help from Linnea Quigley. It’s awesome seeing her acting playful and flirty, and she and Jay Richardson are a pretty good comic team. But their fun is short-lived. Before long, Linnea is doing a chainsaw dance then having a chainsaw duel to the death with another chick!
REFORM SCHOOL GIRLS (1986)
Reform School Girls blew my mind when I saw it on cable as a kid. It makes Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers look like Showgirls. It’s got Wendy O. Williams of the Plasmatics showing off her rockin’ bod in a black bikini for the whole movie. It has Sybil Danning showing off her boobs in a small role. And it has this amazing burly gal as a warden, showing off how she’s basically a female Divine.
Reform School Girls is pretty hardcore! Tons of girl fights, hot punk rock prisoners, shower scenes that bring to mind that classic episode of Charlie’s Angels, food fights, a pet pussy, ass branding…and finally, one shirtless guy. Watching the film, I was totally in the same zone as these women trapped in a prison with only other women, because as soon as he took off his shirt, I nearly squirted without even seeing what he was packing from the neck up.
All the girl-on-girl brutality leads to an awesome riot, with the big-assed drag warden on top of a water tower wielding a rifle, and Wendy on top of a bus wielding…her black bikini. Reform School Girls is the only women’s prison flick I’ve ever seen and the only one I ever need to see because it’s perfection.
