When that rejuvenating facelift goes really wrong


In the 80s, if the monster wasn’t a knife-wielding masked killer, it was often some sort of lab experiment gone wrong: Re-Animator, From Beyond, The Fly, The Nest, and, of course, The Rejuvenator!

rejuvenator starlet

So there’s this rich old actress who I’m pretty sure is the lost Gabor sister, and she wants to be young and beautiful again. So she has like a whole lab of scientists working on a formula to give her eternal youth. And they create one! Only problem is, the serum is made out of some gunk in the human brain, and they don’t have enough of it, because the serum needs to be injected regularly or she’ll turn old again.

rejuvenator ugly

Dumb bitch says do it anyway. And guess what? The side effect is, when the serum wears off, she looks worse than she did before. We’re talking hag. So they do it while it lasts, and when she’s in her young phase, she brings home men to screw. One dude is this muscular GOD in his yellow Speedo.

rejuvenator speedo

I was so glad to see him get the fuck out of there when this bitch started turning all gnarly and shit.


So yeah. Of course, she starts to turn more hideous and hunger for human brain gunk. She goes out to a club searching for her youth and finds it when she gets to see the lost 80s-hair metal girl band Poison Dollys performing. The Poison Dollys RULE. The lead singer is an 80s QUEEN. And we get to see her perform an entire song!

So our hot mess of a monster goes on a killing spree, comes back to the lab and grows beyond monster-tastic as she slaughters the very people trying to make her beautiful (albeit, failing miserably). The lab segment is most definitely the horror highlight of The Rejuvenator. And then…WTF? The last second “brain” scene is one of the most hilarious ways to end a movie. 80s perfection. That’s all I’m going to say.

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES. I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.
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