When the name changes but the vampire family stays the same

In 2006, The Hamiltons moved in to a new neighborhood. By the end of the movie, they had left such devastation that they had to go into the vampire protection program. It wasn’t until 2012 that they were unearthed as The Thompsons.

THE HAMILTONS (2006)

The Hamiltons is one of those “horror themed” movies that focuses on the emotional lives and relationships of the crazies, so it’s hard to be “scared.” All we know is that the family keeps something locked up in the basement while they go about their everyday lives—which includes bringing people home to feed to their caged monster.

Dad and mom are dead, so the oldest brother runs the house (it’s also suggested that he’s gay, but that aspect of his character is sadly understated). The twin brother and sister like to pick up women together, and the mopey youngest boy is an outcast at school. He also narrates the story of his miserable existence. And he starts to sneak down into the basement to visit one chick who’s bound, gagged, and tenderizing.

The Hamiltons are bloodsuckers, but most of the rules of vampirism don’t apply (as outlined by the narrator in the sequel). The real horror comes in because the twins are EVIL. They like to torment and torture their victims and are sloppy in their kidnapping tactics, making it hard for the family to stay in one place for long.

As a result of their actions, the family starts to in-fight and fall apart. But are we supposed to care about the tragic circumstances of a heinous family? Yeah, yeah. I know. It’s a “thinking man’s” horror. Screw that. I prefer being thoughtless because selfish me likes being scared.

Will you be scared when you finally see what’s locked in the basement? More likely, you’ll be thinking, “Wait. Did I miss something?”

THE THOMPSONS (2012)

The Hamiltons are back, have changed their name to Thompson, and are on the run from the law. In an effort to be trendier, the story is told out of order and the narrator now has a little fun pep in his conversation with us.

While the four main family members are all the same actors, each of them looks a lot different. And instead of being an introspective character study, The Thompsons goes for the jugular. It’s an all out vampire war as they turn to another vampire family for help. This leads to horror action overload! It might be a total turnoff to those who loved the dark, moody tone of the original, but horror fans who found the first one boring might not give this one a chance and miss out on its mean-spirited brutality and nearly campy elements.

Think The Devil’s Rejects meets Twilight and you have The Thompsons. What and who will they be next? They don’t introduce themselves as a different family in a new neighborhood at the end of this film as they did in the first, so I’m not sure if another six years will bring us a trilogy.