This was a pretty satisfying triple feature for me, despite each of these movies having some flaws. The cool creeps and creatures alone gave me a little jolt of horror, and that’s all I really ask these days.
WE ARE ZOMBIES (2023)
This little indie zomcom has plenty of good elements, and it even offers what seems to be a unique premise, although it does inevitably turn in on itself and become a rather standard zombie plot.
We start in a time where non-flesh-eating zombies roam the streets just trying to survive in a world of discrimination and fighting for the same rights as everyone else.
However, this isn’t really much of a commentary on that familiar horror movie concept. Instead, the focus is on three “freelancer” mortals that tap into the clientele of a big corporation that allows families to “retire” their zombie family members.
These three job robbers soon discover that this evil company plans to experiment (inhumanely?) on zombies and is also out to destroy the trio for stealing from their zombie supply.
It’s an interesting premise, but what happens is that the evil company’s experiments turn the zombies into…flesh-eating zombies. Kind of full circle back to the usual plot of an evil corporation causing a zombie outbreak!
The main characters are quite good and handle the fun, raunchy comedy well, but unfortunately, there isn’t enough of it or enough zombie action for a majority of the movie. The script is kind of flat and really needed a bit more excitement during its entire runtime.
It is in the final act that this zombedy really, um, comes to life. The main trio has to battle a flesh-eating zombie horde in a club, complete with a freaky boss monster. The energy here is what the rest of the film is missing. The zombies look awesome, the action comes fast and furious, and there’s good, gory fun. If only the cast had this much material to work with throughout the whole movie, this would have been a winner. It’s worth a watch, I’d say, but not good enough for me to add to my movie collection.
THE PACK (2010)
As someone who chowed down on the nonsensical story arcs of many Euro horror flicks in the 80s, I had no problem with the skewed narrative of this odd French flick, which manages to shift subgenre lanes various times, leaving a massacre of plot holes in its wake—an issue that might not be for everyone.
It begins with a tough girl driving through the country, she picks up a dude hitchhiking. They stop at a restaurant. Biker baddies show up and almost rape…the hitchhiker dude! It’s not the only time the leader of the bikers demonstrates an attraction to men. Gotta love rednecks.
Things take off from there. The main girl is abducted and thrown in a cage by a good old backwoods family.
She and her cage mate are tortured in various ways. And then they are left as sacrifices for…
Humanoid creatures that crawl up from the ground! A few throwaway sentences offer an explanation for their existence, but when shit is this weird anyway, why even bother with any explanation?
Before long, everyone seems to be changing loyalties in order to survive. Eventually, the bikers, the hitchhiker, and the main girl end up trapped in a little ramshackle house as the cool creatures try to break their way in. There’s gore, action, and chase scenes leading to a dismal finale.
HARMONY FALLS (2022)
There’s a moody, low energy to this little indie werewolf flick, with a lingering camera vibe and a horror music cue that comes back constantly and gets annoying after a while. The film opens with a couple camping in the woods and getting attacked in their tent…all screams, no visuals.
Seems there has been a rash of mutilations in a small town, so the sheriff calls in a scientist dude for help figuring out who or what is responsible.
Aside from a few attacks here and there, in which you never see anything, this is a very slow film, focused mostly on the investigation by the two men. The weirdest thing is that they always seem to wait until it’s dark to go hunting for clues in the woods. Huh?
One of the highlights of this otherwise dialogue-heavy flick is a goofy redneck bar fight, including a shirtless dude with nunchucks. Is he the pancakes boy from Cabin Fever all grown up? Sure feels like it.
When the werewolf is finally revealed at the end, he looks pretty damn awesome for a low budget indie. Actually, as cool as the werewolf form is, the human’s appearance before turning into the werewolf is way freakier.
I kind of wish the movie had been about the human terrorizing locals in normal freaky form, which appeared to be a partial transformation phase.
