There’s nothing like cheesy fun scares, thrills and gore, but once in a while you (meaning, not me) want something a little more serious. No zombies. No masked killers. No drooling monsters. So here’s a quick rundown of four flicks you might want to check out.
ACOLYTES (2008)
Acolytes delivers smart psychological horror without sacrificing physical horror. Some high school kids dig up a dead body, track down the fricking killer, and blackmail him—kill the evil bully who violently torments them in school or else they go to the police.
If only it were that easy. This is a fucking serial killer you’re dealing with, kiddies! You think he’s going to agree to this plan? I won’t give anything else away, but things definitely do not go as proposed and the kids have to start re-evaluating what kind of people they are.
Acolytes is dark and gritty. And Joel Edgerton, who plays the serial killer, is sexy scary. Check it out.
PATHOLOGY (2008)
Evil little med school kids. Pathology had my head spinning with all its technical jargon, but if you’re into medical horror, this one’s for you.
Heroes hottie Milo Ventimiglia (also of horror flix Cursed and Stay Alive) is a med student who gets mixed up with the wrong crowd. These privileged brats start playing a game to see who can commit the perfect medical murder! Naturally backstabbing, lies, and deceit follow until med students are going bat shit crazy on each other.
Not really my cup of horror, but Alyssa Milano is in it and looks hot as always—she’s just not in it enough! There are also plenty of sex scenes and we get to see what might be Milo Ventimiglia’s ass, but it might also be a stunt butt.
DEADLINE (2009)
How about a little spooky haunted house horror? I got all melancholy when I started watching Deadline because it stars the late Brittany Murphy. She plays an author who comes to an old Victorian to get back in touch with her creativity after having a breakdown…and apparently after switching from men to women.
Creepy atmosphere abounds: creaking doors, drips, dark shadows, bumps in the night, cryptic messages appearing on Brittany’s computer screen, and fleeting images passing in front of the camera. And then Brittany finds some home videos of a couple—Thora Birch (Train, Dark Corners, The Hole) and Riley from Buffy! He looks SO good.
But back to the movie. Honestly, it’s an eerie little flick, but it is incredibly predictable. Brittany’s dark past is revealed as we see the videos of the couple’s relationship turning really bad, with the parallels eventually leading to Brittany pretty much trying to help old ghosts let go of the past. I kind of wrote this one off at the point when Thora’s veiny ghost face fast-forwarded right up into the camera. We’ve all been there before.
VILE (2011)
Vile found a new way to put a spin on torture porn. Some crazy bitch locks a bunch of people up in a Saw-like setting with vials in their necks…and the only way to survive is to fill those vials up with the juice released in your brain when you’re in extreme pain. FUN.
Yes. It’s nonstop torture, mutilation, and agonizing screaming as they all go to work on each other in an effort to “save” one another. Conveniently, there are plenty of household items lying around to use as torture devices. Cringe. Great way to turn the table on the torture porn game, but not even the thought of strapping cast hottie Akeem Smith to a table for a poke and prod session can make this movie my kind of thing.
