I checked out two vampire flicks and a zombie film on various streaming services, and when all was said and done I really only enjoyed one of them, so let’s find out which one and why.
THE INVITATION (2022)
Remember when Samara Weaving kicked ass after marrying into the wrong rich family in Ready Or Not, and then the trailer for this movie rolled around and you thought—this looks like Ready Or Not with vampires? It’s Ready Or Not with vampires.
The main girl is half Black and learns through DNA testing that she’s related to a rich white family. She meets her long lost cousin and he invites her to a wedding at a mansion in England. I guess she’s not Black enough to know that going to the mansion of rich white people is never a good idea…
Would you believe a checklist of predictable occurrences ensue at this gothic mansion?
She’s warned away from a certain room. The butler is mean. Her personal maid is secretive. The lord of the mansion is hot and begins to woo her.
The servants begin getting killed off by something sinister in scenes so dark we see none of what’s happening.
The film is entertaining enough, but the bulk of the horror hits about 65 minutes in. This film is more likely to appeal to fans of gothic romance than horror.
The reason our main girl has been lured by her new family to a vampire dinner party is interesting, and the final act when she fights back is vampire fun, but this isn’t compelling enough for me to want to watch it again.
BLOOD RELATIVES (2022)
This vampire film, written by, directed by, and starring horror king Noah Segan was just so not my thing.
I got the impression it was going to be a horror comedy about a Jewish vampire traveling across country with a teen vamp who claims she’s his daughter. Unfortunately, it leaves out the comedy and the horror and fills it with loads of dialogue.
It’s actually a moody and gloomy road trip movie that doesn’t go anywhere. The father/daughter head-butting as they cope with being related is uninspired and lacking enough depth or emotion, they don’t have much conflict with their vampirism, and they both simply express their unhappiness constantly.
On top of that, it’s like this is a movie about vampires trying to contain their vampirism. In other words, they don’t do much biting, and when they do, it’s off screen. And the whole Jewish vampire angle? Totally overlooked beyond the occasional “oy vey” slipped into conversation. So much missed opportunity.
The only bright side for me was a brief appearance by Tracie Thoms of Rent.
WRECKER (2022)
It’s a grindhouse-zomcom-crime lord-vigilante-action flick written by, directed by, and starring a mega hunk named Bryan Brooks.
Brooks plays a construction worker still struggling to come to terms with the recent kidnapping of his wife when an adorable detective enlists his help in taking down criminals…by simply leading him to them.
There’s not much more to the plot except the underplayed zombie plot. There’s a single zombie in an opening scene with the detective, and then…there isn’t another zombie situation until 90 minutes into the movie.
That’s because the movie is 126 minutes long. Argh! If the objective was to give us a From Dusk Till Dawn split-genre movie, perhaps not showing any zombie action in the beginning would have amplified the switch—but the film would need to get to that horror twist before the 90-minute mark.
This is the problem with first time writers/directors. They don’t quite know much about pacing, editing, and streamlining the script. Brooks is a super charismatic and funny guy (his character is in no way a perfect hero, and he plays the role like a pro), and the fight sequences are quite entertaining, if not a little lacking in polish, mostly due to editing and sound effect issues that make them feel like rehearsals for the fight scenes rather than the finished product.
However, there simply isn’t enough plot development, so we just get fight after fight with various criminals. As campy as some of the sequences are, they become repetitive, especially if you’re waiting for the return of even one zombie.
Also lacking is the development of the relationship between the vigilante and the detective. They’re both charming with great comic timing, but there simply aren’t enough “buddy movie” moments.
They almost always fight their own battles instead of working together (in part because the vigilante is anti-gun and the detective wants to come in with guns blazing). It’s just odd to have two talented guys in the same movie yet give them little chance to play off each other.
The fights take place in church, a strip club, an auto shop, a construction site, a junkyard–until the good guys are eventually abducted by a sleazy crime boss with a patch who has an evil master plan. Finally we get some zombies, and despite budget limitations, it’s good old undead action for the final third of the film. Yay! There’s also a sort of post-apocalyptic vibe, with baddies looking like something out of Mad Max and our two leading men eventually dressed in leather. Delicious.
I’m not going to lie. The hubby and I had a lot of fun with this one despite any flaws, and I will definitely add it to my collection if it gets a DVD release. And of course Bryan Brooks earns Wrecker a spot on the stud stalking page. Wrecker. Sounds like a really hot gay porno film.
