Silent Night, Zombie Night…not all is bright

When I came across this 2011 film, I was way psyched to add my first zombie Christmas film to my collection of heart-warming Christmas horrors. Make that heart-eating Christmas horror…. Great title, cover image looks campy/action oriented, AND it’s a Christmas movie! I was way surprised—and disappointed—when I watched the full film (it’s only an hour and twenty minutes) to find that it takes itself really serious for the most part, with the most “campy” scenes being not particularly humorous moments such as zombies being beaten with a baseball bat by our hero as “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” plays. Lame.

Let me interrupt though by saying that there are some notable things about this film. For starters, the two lead males are both cute, with the hero being really cute with a sweet bod and some nice big ol’ nipples on display when he gets shirtless. I know what I’d be chewing on if I were a Christmas zombie. Another highlight of the film is the casting of Felissa Rose. Whodat, you ask? Why, it’s Angela from the ORIGINAL Sleepaway Camp. Great to see her in a different role, but it comes near the end, and personally, I think she doesn’t get enough screen time!!!

It’s also important to note there are some juicy gore scenes and the zombie makeup or masks or whatever it is holds up pretty well, even in the predominantly daytime setting. And if there’s one winning moment in this film that marries Christmas and flesh eaters, it is NOT the predictable moment when a zombie comes on screen dressed as Santa. It’s actually one of the few nighttime scenes, in which our juicy-nippled lead comes downstairs to find a zombie just standing in the glow of the Christmas tree. Just STANDING there, kind of swaying sleepily as if waiting for Santa to arrive so he can eat him. Such a creepy moment in an otherwise bland film.

The plot is typical zombie leftovers. Action begins immediately, with people getting eaten in a suburban neighborhood, our two cops having some post-Christmas party fight, and the lead cop’s wife showing up to join forces with them in a house as the outbreak begins. Aside from too many daytime scenes, the film also lacks holiday spirit despite plenty of Christmas lights—because it was shot in a warm climate! No snow!!!

The majority of the film focuses on the fight between the two friends and the failing relationship of the couple. Seriously, that’s the majority of the film. A zombie chick flick. The hero eventually goes zombie hunting, finds another survivor in an attic of another house, and then our favorite transgender be-otch arrives on the scene with her clan of survivors to liven up the action a bit. The movie feels like it’s about a half-hour too long.

However, having said all that, this zombie film should get an award for one of the best reaction lines EVER after getting bit by a zombie: “Half my face is in that thing’s mouth!!!!”