A decade before Satanic Panic hit Shudder, there was a very different movie with the same name, so I figured it was time to take on both of them.
SATANIC PANIC (2009)
It’s low budget and a messy mishmosh of subgenres, yet there are various aspects of the first Satanic Panic that kept me watching.
Naturally, the fact that it begins by focusing on the Satanism panic of the 1980s sparked my interest. Shot documentary style, it features clips of a camouflaged victim who lost her child to Satanists, and a flamboyant Satanist who rejects all the accusations aimed at Satanists.
Then there are some low budget murder scenes as robed cult members abduct random people.
One poor dude even falls victim to some non-graphic sodomy, forced to smoke the pipe from the wrong end.
Finally we meet a main group of friends heading into the woods, and there is some seriously boring filler—including the music.
55 minutes in it kicks into gear as a low budget indie, with lesbians, brutal impalement and stabbings, some fun Satanism scenes, a chase scene with body reveals, and a devilish, slight shift in subgenre again near the end. Really, this would be a better paced film if they had just taken out the middle section!
SATANIC PANIC (2019)
Why is it that all the horror comedies I watch lately are so inconsistent? This Shudder hit starts off quite good. Even my hubby was laughing along at the great jokes and comical performances.
A young pizza delivery girl meets some eccentric customers with an array of odd requests. When one dude stiffs her on a tip, she enters his house and walks right into a satanic cult looking for a virgin. Lucky her.
Rebecca Romijn is the head cultist and she’s a hoot in the film. her hubby Jerry O’Connell plays her husband in the movie. AJ Bowen shows up later in the film for a brief cameo. And the nurse roommate from Happy Death Day gets to shine in this film as another kidnap victim of the cult.
The first establishing act is quite funny with some over the top gore. Things begin to fall apart in the middle of the film—my hubby tuned out and began playing his Soduko games on his iPad.
Things slow way down to the point that none of the characters do anything of any significance. Even the addition of a few evil creature attacks doesn’t help to get the blood flowing again.
The final act ramps up to a big satanic ritual climax, the most entertaining part of it being the orgy. I’m all about the orgy.
Beyond that, I really had no idea what the plot was trying to accomplish, and the cast didn’t seem to either.
