I put off watching Kevin Smith’s Red State for a long time because of the heavily politicized title that drags it out of the horror realm and into liberal propaganda territory. And as I suspected, the film in no way jacks off my horror id. It’s virtually a documentary about the mentally ill…I mean…the faithful, despite showing up on numerous horror websites and on the Chiller Network. Be warned. A Chiller Network viewing sucks because the heaping spoonful of foul language in this movie about the absurdity of the morality police is bleeped out.
But it was worth it just to see it for free. I can’t get away from having the holier-than-thou agenda shoved down my throat in real life—or on Facebook—so I don’t need to be horror baited into renting or buying a whole movie reminding me of its existence! I prefer to stay in my happy horror world—backwoods inbred folk who want to eat men for dinner and implant their freak seed in unwilling women—than be reminded of the real reason I barely step out my front door, let alone leave Blue York.
EEK! MONSTERS!
The plot of the movie couldn’t be any simpler. Some young guys go to bang a prostitute in a trailer home, pass out, and wake up in cages and tied to crucifixes in a church while a preacher dude goes on and on and on in front of his congregation about sin then blames everything on homosexuals. EVERYTHING. You know. The same crap the loons spout on the news every day because they are in denial about being responsible for millennia of fucking up the world with hatred, violence, war, greed, self-righteousness, entitlement, and earth rape.
Priests are fathers. I’m your DADDY!
So yeah. The whole movie is about how these God goons decides to kill some straight kids because gays made them want to gang fuck women. It’s as ludicrous in the movie as it is in reality. Gays didn’t invent perversion considering we weren’t even allowed to exist until the last 20 years or so. Perversion is a heterosexual creation. We just perfected it, like we do everything else…fashion, art, neighborhoods, disco. Not to mention, when did you ever see a gay man thrust a cute, horny dude into the arms of a female?
I’m your boyfriend now, straight boys!
Red State threatens torture porn at first but doesn’t come through on its promise. The captives actually cry “but I’m not even gay” to try to save themselves…and then John Goodman comes on the scene with a fricking SWAT team of men and starts a shootout with the God goons, who are, naturally, ammosexuals as well.
God, Guns & GUNS! ROAR!
WTF? This is NOT a horror movie. But I was totally on the law’s side—because the plan was to just annihilate the fuckers. My faith in violence begetting violence is unwavering. The religious war (redundant, I know) comes to a head when these Silent Hill-esque sirens start wailing. Could there be a religious horror twist breaking through the clouds over Red State?
Kiss him, John!
Gotta give credit to Smith, who does a great job of showing how self-centered God goons are, first tormenting and killing those they choose to hate and then missing the irony when they have to grieve and suffer over the loss of their own loved ones as they’ve made others do. However, Smith tries to play it fair and show a bit of moral integrity on either side. But fear not—the film retains its anti-religious whacko stance in the end with a very satirical liberal punch line.
God damn, religion is SO gay!
DISCLAIMER: No homosexuals were hurt in the making of this film. BUT…the entire plot stems from the murder of a gay guy and a down low blow job.
