This trio of films from the late teens offers found footage, a home invasion, and bewitching behavior…and it all happens in the woods.
FOUND FOOTAGE 3D (2016)
Found Footage 3D is a meta movie about a group of filmmakers trying to make the first ever 3D found footage horror film.
The Blu-ray offers a 2D option, but considering this is a run-of-the-mill found footage film, the 3D option is the only thing that offers something different beyond the film poking fun at itself.
Actually, that aspect gets a little tired, especially since the film runs too long at 100 minutes…and they left some of the better meta moments on the cutting room floor.
Between extended scenes, outtakes, and deleted scenes in the bonus features on the disc, there’s almost an hour of optional footage that could have been chosen to bring some excitement to the film.
This is an old skool red/blue 3D experience, so you don’t need a 3D TV to enjoy the novelty (wahoo!). Unfortunately, you don’t get anything novel beyond depth. For that reason alone, a deleted scene bashing things flying at the screen in 3D movies should have been included in the movie, because we don’t get any of that. What I’m saying is the 3D is a dud. The whole fricking point of 3D horror movies is for blood and guts to fly at your face.
So what does that leave us with? The cast and crew heads to a supposedly haunted cabin in the woods to make a movie about a couple on the verge of breaking up—and the two leads happen to be in the middle of a breakup. In other words, their script simply becomes reality as they continue filming. The couple does improvise the most thrilling footage of the whole movie though…
There’s very little in the way of strange occurrences before the final fifteen minutes, and the big threat is basically a black ectoplasm blob.
There’s nothing you haven’t seen in other found footage films, and the self-proclaimed first 3D found footage horror film ever refused to get even that right.
TEENAGE WASTELAND (2018)
Despite Teenage Wasteland not being the most polished indie, you can tell there’s a lot of passion behind the project. There are also some original ideas effectively presented, so it definitely kept me watching.
The opener establishes the plot—a group of young “filmmakers” lures unsuspecting victims into their movies and then the camera rolls as they film a real murder.
We then meet our main girl, who is heading to her family cabin for a reunion of sorts. They are quite dysfunctional, but the alcoholic mother won me over with the way she responds to a dude who comes to the door preaching about God.
There are some creepy moments and a few kills leading up to the home invasion, and the kills are given a distinct style—a title card, a switch to a grindhouse filter, and the death scene suddenly playing out in costumes to get us into the heads of these demented filmmakers.
There’s a muscle boy taking care of his killing business naked, but unfortunately it’s in really dark lighting.
The home invasion part is pretty basic and felt kind of rushed, but there’s somewhat of a twist at the end that sets it apart from better-known home invasion flicks.
WITCHES IN THE WOODS (2019)
There’s just nothing new or even scary here to hang on to. I’ve seen it all before, and I’ve seen it done better.
A group of friends is on a road trip to a ski resort. They are forced to take a detour. They find themselves going in circles. They get into an accident. The van is stuck. They’re in the middle of nowhere.
Tensions mount between the friends due to the combination of current circumstances and secrets they’re keeping from each other.
One girl is acting all weird…almost like she’s bewitched. She’s not doing well emotionally and eventually has some sort of seizures. Naturally someone has to go for help, so soon they’re being divided and conquered. Everyone experiences trippy situations, but nothing substantial enough to make sense of it all.
Who will make it out alive once the supernatural mind-fucking begins turning them against each other? Is it worth finding out? I didn’t think so.
