These three films from my streaming watchlists borrow elements of found footage horror, but none of them fully commits to the subgenre’s rigid POV, allowing for some flexibility in the way the stories are presented. I’m not saying that makes them good, but I did have a favorite.
DON’T MAKE A SOUND (2024)
If you like sleazy, ugly, gritty serial killer movies with little plot that look very homemade, almost to the point of feeling like snuff films short of some bad acting in places, you might get into this movie about a psycho who abducts and violently kills people while filming it. Not only is the footage rough, but the audio is terrible, with the volume level dropping so much at times that you can barely hear what’s being said even if you crank up the volume on your television. From what I saw—and didn’t hear—you’re not missing anything crucial by not picking up the dialogue.
Much of the footage is shown through the killer’s camera lens. The first twenty minutes consist exclusively of footage of one person after another being taunted, terrorized, and then murdered by the killer in his “lair”.
While the killer does make cameos in his own videos once in a while, he’s usually in rain wear and a mask, but that’s not half as creepy as he is when he shows his actual face and makes disturbing expressions. Definitely good casting of the killer. With a face that freaky, who needs a mask?
After the long montage of murders, we get the simple story. A young girl is trying to cope with the death of her mother. She’s being sent to live with her aunt and resents her older sister sending her away. That anger translates into a stretch of silent treatment for us to sit through as they go on a road trip so the sister can drop her off. Unless it actually wasn’t the silent treatment and I just couldn’t hear the audio.
The car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, and then the little girl spends the rest of the movie roaming through the woods trying to avoid the killer. In between hunting her, the killer mutilates anyone else unlucky enough to be in the middle of nowhere at the wrong time.
It’s slow and drawn out, and the best part is when the little girl goes manic on the killer, beating and stabbing the hell out of him at the end.
THE GLENARMA TAPES (2022)
I think there might be a whole lot of paid reviewers out there on the internet covering this one. I read some pretty eloquently written praise of it, and then I watched it, only to find nothing but chaos and disappointment.
The movie doesn’t solely stick to found footage, but even much of the footage that is supposed to be found footage is shot like it was recorded on high-quality film. I guess you could argue that using modern day HD digital devices wouldn’t result in the kind of rough, shot-on-video quality we grew used to starting over 25 years ago with Blair Witch, but this film even breaks the rules of found footage more than once with some funky editing and camerawork, as well as moments featuring music that is used to establish tone!
The premise isn’t terrible. A jaded college student having his film student buddy make a “documentary” about his life comes up with a different theme for their movie. Hard to believe he could get past his own ego and decide there was a more interesting subject to focus on. That’s some major character growth in a short time.
After overhearing two teachers discussing sneaking off to an isolated location together, the buddies gather some other friends and follow the teachers to the country in hopes of catching them in the act.
On the way, a convenience store clerk warns them to beware of Harry the Half-Headed Man in the woods. How I wish Harry had been the actual threat. I was so stoked for a half-headed dude. Instead, the students witness a cult performing a sacrificial ritual.
The action finally kicks in, and I had no idea what I was witnessing. People are running and screaming through the woods, cameras are shaking and spinning, and then I simply had to conclude that most of the main cast was selfishly dead within a matter of minutes without having treated me to any suspense, scares, or gore. However, the masked guy with the hot bod who ties up shirtless men to torture them definitely made for some enjoyable horror.
The movie shifts away from found footage for the final act, in which the lone survivor is convinced police are hiding something and not bothering to investigate what happened in the woods. This one is a serious head scratcher.
THE WILD MAN: SKUNK APE (2021)
Me thinking that a movie with the words Skunk Ape in the title and starring Michael Pare is the best of a bunch totally tracks. It’s goofy and messy, but it does something most found footage films fail to do…it delivers loads of monster payoff in the final act.
Turns out the Skunk Ape is an actual legend and is sort of like the Bigfoot of the Everglades in Florida. Horror teaches me something new every day.
The big difference is that this hairy beast is known for being stinky. That’s not all that scary. Haven’t we all encountered a stinky, hairy beast at least once in a locker room or public restroom? Unfortunately, the hairy beast in this movie is attracted to bait soaked in period blood. No, I’m not joking.
Following a string of missing persons cases in a small town near the swamps, enthusiastic filmmakers come to do some investigating, at which point we shift mostly into found footage mode.
They begin by interviewing locals about the legend. They end up hooking up with a conspiracy theorist who leads them into the wilderness to look out for the Skunk Ape. This segment features a lot of talking to give us some character development. In other words…the boring part.
46 minutes in we get the first major Skunk Ape attack. The excitement is quickly ruined by some sort of military team stepping in, led by Eddie of The Cruisers.
Our filmmaking team escapes the monster and the military and then asks some shady dudes to help them sneak into a secret government facility. Totally absurd, right? But I don’t care, because it leads to the fun part of the movie.
Conveniently, there seem to be cameras everywhere to catch the action, including body cams on the soldiers. This movie really made me think. Yes, I said this movie made me think. It made me think about how the hell they get so much camera time in these found footage films. Like how do the batteries last so long, and how do they seem to have endless storage space for their videos? My brand new iPhone has the latest battery technology and massive storage space, and still doesn’t allow you to make a full-length porn in one take. Not that I’ve ever tried…
So anyway, once they’ve infiltrated the facility, the group is caught immediately by the soldiers (shocker), and then the movie goes into 1980s mode. Awesome. Everyone is running through industrial hallways drenched in red and blue neon light as they are terrorized and torn apart by Skunk Apes. Double awesome. The final act and the cheesy message about humanity make this one all worth it. Even the part where the main girl reasons with a Skunk Ape to prevent it from killing her friend adds to the midnight movie silliness of it all.
