Imagine watching two Asian horror flicks in a row without a single long-haired girl in sight! The Host is a major creature feature, while Bio-Zombie is, you know….
THE HOST (2006)
When The Host first begins, something shocking happens—Hershel from The Walking Dead makes the call to dump toxic waste into a river! Bet he started that walker outbreak, too.
However, in this movie, his decision leads to the creation of a wicked cool, giant fish-like creature that sets up home in the sewers…and uses the river as its feeding ground.
The Host quickly introduces us to a family who runs a concession stand alongside the river: The elderly dad, his daughter, and his two sons (one of them a bumbling fool with a daughter).
Then, all hell breaks loose! The creature comes ashore and wreaks havoc on people in the park in a scene that will have you hooked on this flick immediately. Bringing slapstick comedy to the insanity, the bumbling brother fails to protect his daughter from the creature and she is taken into the water. I guess you could call it a host snatch because he snatches her and, well…just wait until you see his mouth….
The Host is the tale of the family’s escape from the authorities (who believe anyone who came in contact with the creature may be infected) and their efforts to find the girl—who manages to make one phone call from the monster’s lair to let them know she’s still alive. It’s weirdly comical, scary, thrilling, and sad all at once. And the creature not only looks kick ass, it is also a master at jump scares.
BIO-ZOMBIE (1998)
Bio-Zombie came twenty years after Dawn of the Dead and six years before Shaun of the Dead, and it’s the best of both worlds. Two goofy guys and their friends are stuck in a mall during a zombie outbreak…caused by contaminated soda! Please, don’t let it be the cherry cola.
In one of the weirdest openings ever, we get voice-overs of the two leading guys in a theater—one pointing out two gay guys in the audience and the other saying, “Isn’t this a gay movie?”
Not sure what the point is of that part, but soon after, the two guys are at an auto shop and marveling at the huge balls of the mechanic underneath the car. WTF? Now I was thinking this was a gay movie. But these two reveal their heterosexuality as soon as they are trapped in the mall with zombies and a selection of pretty young women.
Bio-Zombie takes a while to really get going, but at about the forty-five minute mark, the zombie chaos begins, and it’s nonstop zombedy fun from then on. Our two heroes know what to do in a zombie outbreak because earlier in the movie, they were playing House of the Dead! In fact, there’s even a video game character stat screen homage (an idea that comes years before the movie adaptation of House of the Dead, which had a similar segment).
Naturally, there’s a selfish prick in their group, but there’s also a zombie that is sort of on their side. The mall setting adds an extra level of intensity because the hallways are all completely mirrored and all the doors are clear glass (my worst zombie nightmare). The craziness leads to a final race through a swarm of gut munching zombies! I’m shocked this movie hasn’t reached zombedy classic status.
