No mincing words in this blog. I fricking love The Being, which was released in 1983 after a few years collecting dust on the shelf. Sure it has Martin Landau as a government prick pretending toxic waste isn’t killing people (nothing has changed in 30 years). Sure it has Ruth Buzzi as a religious nut who hates porn (parenthetical ditto).
But most importantly, it has Bill Osco as the lead detective. Bill Osco is actually more of a filmmaker—in particular, erotic art movies, including Flesh Gordon. But he should have been a bona fide scream king. Even though he’s the “hero” of The Being, he is the most realistic character I’ve seen in a horror film because he screams whenever scary shit happens, runs like hell when in danger, and grunts and groans in pain when getting his ass kicked by the monster.
That realism totally makes this movie more than the simple creature feature it is. And even as just a creature feature, it rules. It starts right off with a narration that sounds like the voiceover for a movie trailer, plus a kid being chased and then attacked in his car. The full monster isn’t revealed, but we glimpse just enough to want to see more!
But first, we get to see a whole monster attack a naked chick in a drive-in movie. Even that’s good! And The Being monster oozes in through some car vents moments later. The creature fun never ends in this film.
Loads of great stuff happens. Ruth Buzzi holds an Easter egg hunt and we root for the monster to get a cute little girl when her egg rolls into a gooey hole. Fleetwood Mac’s “I Don’t Want to Know” plays on a car radio. There’s a monster under the bed moment. There’s a monster arm through a chest cavity moment. There’s even a completely unnecessary dream scare sequence. In a movie with horror pacing this tight, that kind of thing just cheapens it.
But I’ll let it go. Because eventually, it’s down into the underground for Bill Osco, where he finally confronts the monster—and we get to see it’s beastly face. Look, Ma! no CGI!
