This was one of the better horror comedy triple features I made the hubby sit through, with only one slightly weak link in the bunch. Let’s get right into them.
THE BEAST OF WALTON ST. (2023)
It all begins on a cold and dreary night at Christmastime in a dark alley. You can actually feel the chill as a homeless man hears noises coming from a nearby dumpster. He makes the mistake of going to investigate, and in a flash of quick cuts and edits, he is mauled in a bloody werewolf attack.
The Beast of Walton St. sets up a somber, isolating setting in a rough part of town during the holiday season, landing this one on the holiday horror page. There are barely any characters, and the focus is on a couple of homeless lesbians living in a garage they call home, complete with Christmas lights.
Thing is, the energy is as downtrodden as the two main girls. It’s so lowkey that it makes the pretty damn good werewolf encounters all the more exciting. However, the two girls are the only ones who keep encountering it, because they really are alone in their little homeless world.
After an initial encounter with the practical costume effects beast, which is always presented either from afar, in dark shadows, or through fleeting glimpses, the girls decide to hunt the beast down and save the targeted homeless population in the town. After all, there’s nothing lesbians detest more than a hairy beast invading their turf.
Despite the great wintery, desolate atmosphere and cool monster moments, the movie is very slow. The girls are cute together, and there’s some dry humor (highlighted by frequent focus on their female body parts), but there’s a lot of dialogue, and the performances come across as almost uninterested and bored. Think of how Max spoke in 2 Broke Girls and you’ll get what I’m talking about, especially since one of the girls sounds just like Kat Dennings. Look away from the screen and you will swear it’s her.
The gore is good and nasty, the attack scenes are intense, there’s a shocking turn of events near the end, and the final battle is a goody, but it’s still a rather flat viewing experience overall. And just note that the bloody situations that occur are repeatedly likened to getting AIDS, which is an oddly phobic sort of analogy to keep making.
SNAKE CREEK (2025)
Indie director Charlie Steeds rarely disappoints for me, and he usually makes campy, quirky flicks I can watch with the hubby because they have a touch of a SyFy original throwback to them.
Snake Creek was another good popcorn movie for us. Steeds knows how to have fun with his flicks and gets straight to the point. In this one, a group of four guys heads to the woods for a canoeing trip.
First, they stop at a convenience store, where the old clerk warns them of all the dangers on the river. Soon after, they are on the water and being attacked by one of the most charismatic, practical effects giant snake I’ve ever seen.
This snake is a total character with its own hissing personality. It feels like an old school puppet design, and every time its face pops up on screen, it gave us a giggle. It also has a taste for dick. Now that’s something I can sink my fangs into.
There’s snake POV, chases, attacks, funny battles, and a group of dudes that barely have an ounce of annoying, toxic masculinity in them as is usually the case with these kinds of movies.
They really are a bunch of chill dudes, so you totally root for them as they fend off the snake, try to escape the woods after their canoe floats away, and eventually have to also contend with a trio of psychotic hillbillies. This one is a total party movie.
SNATCHERS (2019)
Alien meets Mean Girls? That’s what you get here, with a little skankified American Pie humor thrown in for good measure.
Our main girl Sara is killing time with her bitchy female friends after her boyfriend dumped her because she wouldn’t have sex with him. In true insecure teen girl fashion, she doesn’t want to lose him, so she lets him bang her…
A few days later she wakes up to find herself like 9 months pregnant! That fertilized egg is just waiting to explode from her vaj, and she gets to the gynecologist just in time for it to shoot out of her. Let the horror insanity begin!
Sara somehow gives birth to a sort of “head hugger” that latches on to the skulls of hosts and tries to track mommy down after she and her friend make a fast getaway from the gory afterbirth situation she left behind.
They soon realize there’s another baby head hugger inside her just waiting to pop. Their effort to abort the second alien offspring leads them to various locations, and everywhere she goes, the head hugger follows, wreaking humorous havoc!
It’s another total party movie to watch with friends, so make sure to have a huge bowl of popcorn and a load of cherry cola on hand. The script is spot on, the comedy is gold, the icky gore is a blast, and the performances are top notch for an indie. The movie comes from a trio of filmmakers (co-directing and co-writing credits), and I really hope they make more magic together. I immediately ordered Snatchers on Blu-ray after I finished streaming it.
