I needed a good dose of movies from 2005 as a throwback to better times (never thought I’d say that about the Bush era), so it was quite convenient that I found a trio of them streaming. All three happen to have the word “man” in the title…because all of them were renamed at some point! I seriously think a shit load of movies from the early 2000s have been getting retitled to trick those of us who lived on SyFy movies back then into watching movies we’ve already seen. Either way, let’s take a look at this batch.
SHARKMAN (aka: Hammerhead) (2005)
I imagine this was a SyFy original, and a goodie at that. The cover art on both Prime and Tubi features the art for a movie called SharkMan from 2001 (according to IMDb), but this movie is actually originally titled Hammerhead, and it is about a shark man. The SharkMan title and incorrect artwork are totally what drew me to it, so I’d say it’s a happy accident.
After the shark man attacks a couple in the water in the opening scene, we learn that Jeffrey Combs is a scientist who turned his son into a shark man while attempting to cure him of cancer.
Combs has representatives from a pharmaceutical company visit his island, but when he shows them what he’s done, they think he’s crazy. So of course he can’t let them leave.
It becomes a fight for survival as the group tries to flee the island, which isn’t easy, because the shark man can walk on land. Perfect.
It’s strictly about the shark man attacks and action sequences…and the vines that inexplicably come to life and attack one woman at one point. The shark man is a great looking creature, there’s blood and guts, and the movie’s main hero is not a Hollywood type of hunkâhe’s a simple looking, out-of-shape dude in a T-shirt. Refreshing.
MOSQUITO MAN (2005)
This one is like Mimic meets The Fly 1986. It’s science backfiring in a gritty city setting, and it’s loaded with giant bug attacks and gore. Yay!
A convict escapes capture and gets goo on him in a science lab, as does a female scientist, who happens to be the love interest of the main detective dude.
The convict morphs into an awesome giant mosquito man almost instantly, while the scientist begins transforming slower.
The mosquito man makes it his mission to hunt the scientist down, sucking face of anyone who gets in his way, which mostly includes homeless men and loads of policemen as he travels through the alleys and tunnels of the city. Kind of gay considering his tongue looks like a big erection whenever he shoves it down a guy’s throat.
An hour into the film, the mosquito man sprouts wings and starts flying, adding to the creature feature fun. The detective calls him a mansquito, which was the original, much better title of the movie, and the detective and the scientist battle the mosquito man in what is essentially a giant bug zapper situation. It’s kind of hilarious. Such a 1990s sci-fi/horror direct-to-VHS vibe, and I was totally there for it.
SNAKEMAN (2005)
This one was originally titled The Snake King, which is better than SnakeMan considering it’s actually a giant snake, not a snake man.
We get to see the big bad CGI snake immediately in the opening jungle attack scene.
An archaeology team finds a sarcophagus of a human that lived for 300 years, and they believe the tribe that still lives in the jungle holds the key to immortality. So the corporation they work for sends a team there to find out if it’s so.
Stephen Baldwin pilots the helicopter that gets them there, and he joins the expedition through the jungle.
There are loads of snake attacks, battles with the natives, hilarious scenes of bodies being torn apart with bad computer effects, and eventually we find out the fricking snake has more than one head!
This is what I’m talking about. This old school SyFy original crap that’s perfect for a hot summer Sunday.
