Need your pipes cleansed?

drainiac

Watching wickedly low-budget horror flick Drainiac, you would never guess that it was made in 2000. Director Brett Piper uses old handmade special effects and camera techniques because, well, that’s all he can afford. The film is grainy and washed out (in a good way) and has a very “direct-to-VHS” vibe. The look and feel kind of reminds me of one of my faves, Dead Dudes in the House, only not as effectively creepy.

It begins randomly at Christmas, “a few years ago.” Love that. Two dudes (one of them kind of hot and a total asshole) are out in the woods trying to stay warm by a fire. They find an abandoned house, go inside—and the pretty boy becomes really ugly when pipe goo eats his face.

So now it’s a few years later and this chick is suffering from horrific nightmares of being attacked by icky monster limbs as she tries to cope with the loss of her mom. Her dad is a total dick to her. He makes her clean up this old abandoned house he bought. Guess which house….

draniac face

So she and her friends make it a cleaning party. An uninvited guest shows up—this total prick dude. How many nasty men can there be in one movie? This dude is really bad! He even hits women! So of course, the goo gets him in the gonads!

Aside from numerous horrific visions the leading lady has, there’s not much going on, and the monster on the front of the DVD isn’t exactly what you get in the film. There are several scenes of the goo working its magic around the house. There’s some light humor—don’t worry your side won’t need stitches. Then suddenly, a kind of blue-collar exorcist shows up to help them cleanse the place!

draniac parasite

Things end when the gang lays head-to-head in a circle on the floor and all this crazy shit flies around above them…with the kind of special effects that would make 1982 proud. Drainiac is just—goofy. But it has a certain kind of old school charm, and at an hour and fifteen minutes, it avoids the low-budget trap of running too long. If there were still video stores with a “Rent 3 get the 4th Free” deal, Drainiac would be your fourth. Unless the “adult room” was empty and you were not too embarrassed to slip behind that curtain….

draniac skull

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES.

I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.

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