Zombies, a crazy killer, or demons….

Which subgenre delivers the horror scares this time? The living dead in Dead Season, the psycho in Inhuman Resources, or the hellish creatures of The Shrine?

DEAD SEASON (2012)

Dead Season isn’t as bad ass or fun as the DVD cover makes it look. You know how The Walking Dead is about the human condition and then every once in a while they toss in some zombies? That’s how this pans out.

A man, woman, and child want to get the hell out of dodg(ing zombies), so they hop on a boat to a remote island to get away from it all. Unfortunately, they soon find that there are zombies everywhere. And they aren’t the only things on the island that are hungry for flesh….

The pair is rescued from a zombie ambush by a group of survivors on the island who run a very volatile camp. They’ll make sure you know how to survive, but if you don’t pull your weight, you’re screwed—or food, in this case.

Dialogue heavy and character intensive, the Dead Season does eventually deliver a wild zombie attack, chase scene, and gut munching. But that’s right at the end. So, like I said, if you’re okay with the pacing of The Walking Dead, you’ll be able to sit through this flick without getting fidgety.

INHUMAN RESOURCES (2012)

Now this is a video nasty that will get you fidgeting in your seat—just like the poor main characters in the movie, chained in front of computers to “work” for a crazy man known as The Headhunter because he was convicted of beheading quite a few CEOs. But what does he want with this group of six people?

It’s clear he wants to torture them. Fingernails are ripped off, eyes gouged out, heads severed, legs chopped off. It’s a pretty brutal film. These people are treated almost as badly as they treated employees at the Bed, Bath & Beyond offices where I used to work.

When someone is finally able to turn the tables (or desk) on the boss, you’d be surprised what good weapons office supplies can make. And you’ll be really surprised at the shocking turn the film takes once the chase scenes start.

And most surprising of all is that a Tom Savini appearance gives me an excuse to post a pic of his tits.

Inhuman Resources is a slasher/torture porn hybrid that should definitely satisfy fans of mean-spirited, gory horror. And the very last scene fricking rules!

THE SHRINE (2010)

And finally, comes my favorite of the bunch, which also happens to be the one with the lamest DVD cover that offers not even a hint of the greatness that awaits! The Shrine is a winner for fans of flicks like Night of the Demons and Evil Dead. However, it takes a while for that to become apparent.

This reporter chick drags her assistant and her boyfriend to an isolated village in Poland where a young man disappeared. First, they have a run in with a gorgeous shirtless dude with a relaxed Mohawk, who’s slaughtering a pig in a barn (he can split this pig in two any day).

Then they becomes super curious about what might be inside a mysterious cloud column rising up from the forest….

At first, I was afraid this was going to turn into a film with them imprisoned in the fog by the locals, like the kids stuck on the pyramid in crapfest The Ruins. Maybe I was getting flashbacks because the boyfriend in this flick is played by Aaron Ashmore, whose identical twin brother Shawn starred in The Ruins.

Fear not, fellow loathers of The Ruins. The main girl comes upon a giant statue of a hellish demon in the fog (that reminds me of the statue in The Exorcist), something happens that will send chills down your spine.

And because she has seen the statue, the locals show their true selves. YIKES!

The Shrine has some brutal gore, freaky creatures reminiscent of the Cenobites in Hellraiser, and demonic possession!

So awesome. It’s one of those movies in which the horror really creeps up on you, and once it’s over, you wish it wouldn’t end. It deserves a lot more attention than it got.