When I’m in the mood for some nice big, erect hairy beasts….

Horrifying hardcore werewolf movies rule, but once in a while, you need a good campy movie featuring an upright, talking werewolf with personality. WolfCop and Wolves make the perfect double feature.

WOLFCOP (2014)

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WolfCop had me at the werewolf dick transformation. Actually, it had me a little before that when we see the burnout leading manly man getting out of bed shirtless. This guy is an alcoholic cop who can’t get his act together. He goes on a call, botches things up, and wakes the next morning to find he’s growing hair in places that…well, places he already had hair, only now there’s more.

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Actor Leo Fafard is so perfectly sexy/scrubby in the role, playing it straight while the supporting cast helping him come to terms with his new wolf identity delivers most of the campy humor and one-liners.

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WolfCop manages to stay hard-edged rather than fall into slapstick territory, but within its gruff exterior, it delivers campy, gory, exploitative fun. WolfCop tears the shirt right off a muscle cutie (I want him to teach me that trick). He goes through an awesome, non-CGI transformation.

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He literally takes a bite out of crime, ripping into plenty of baddies. And he shows his soft side when he crossbreeds with a chick in a love scene. Yes. There’s wolf fucking, complete with a throwback 80s movie soundtrack style jam. And the outtakes feature so many dick jokes it’s not even funny. Actually, it’s really funny.

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If you’re a fan of Big Bad Wolf and have been looking for other films like it, give this big good wolf a lick…I mean…look. And while you’re at it, save some saliva for director Lowell Dean. Smokin’.

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How big did you want the werewolf dick, Lowell?

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WOLVES (2014)

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The quirky film Wolves starts out feeling like an episode of Teen Wolf. Cutie Lucas Till (Kristy, Dance of the Dead, Laid to Rest) is the high school quarterback, has a hot girlfriend…and suddenly discovers he’s a werewolf…while in front of the whole school on the football field.

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His dry humor narration sets you up for a fun teen angst horror comedy, but things quickly take a turn.

Wolves ends up feeling a lot more like the film Wolf Moon, which I blog about here. The teen wolf runs away to the middle of nowhere, works at a farm, discovers the truth about his lineage, and faces off against a bad ass werewolf hunk and his pack.

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The films gets a bit slow in the middle (damn story development and romance), but the major were-war at the end is a bloody good blast and loaded with snarky humor that seemed to have disappeared after the opening segment.

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The cast is awesome and includes horror staple Stephen McHattie (A Little Bit Zombie, Septic Man, Lizzie Borden Took an Axe, Exit Humanity, Pontypool), and hunky Jason Momoa (Conan the Barbarian in the recent remake) as the big bad wolf…who also appears as a big burly shirtless man near the end of the film.

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And if you’re into lean younger guys, leading man Lucas Till appears shirtless while chopping wood.

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About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES. I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.
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