They’re both Silent But Deadly…but do they really stink?

Would you believe me if I told you there are two slasher comedies called Silent But Deadly that came out a year apart? And would you believe me if I said neither of them has anything to do with farts? Well believe it, dammit.

SILENT BUT DEADLY (2011)

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First we have Silent Jay Strikes Back. That’s right. Jason Mewes of Jay & Silent Bob is the one who doesn’t talk this time…except when he speaks the name of his next murder weapon. Mewes is a redneck farm boy who loves his pet goats. So when his goats are slaughtered, he seeks revenge, killing anyone in his path. I’m not making this shit up!

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This is purely comedy with some knee-slapping CGI deaths for the party crowd. Mewes comes to work on a film set and takes out the cast and crew one by one. But the real focus of the film is a comedy duo comprised of a little man sheriff and a big black deputy man. The sheriff is played by Jordan Prentice, who was fricking Howard the Duck, Rocky in Goosebumps: Night of the Living Dummy III, and a giant bag of weed in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. Needless to say, he has a really great sense of humor.

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The deputy is played by sexy hunky Benz Antoine, who has made a career out of playing a cop or security guard (check out his imdb page).

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And of course there are two pretty leads. The main girl is played by Kim Poirier, whose horror credits include American Psycho II, Decoys 1&2, and Dawn of the Dead remake. Marc Hickox has appeared in Warriors of Terra and Living Death. This is one likable cast.

And considering Jason Mewes doesn’t speak, he’s barely the star here. The sheriff steals the show completely. Plus we get boobs, lesbian sex, and one of the most awesome CGI split-down-the-middle kills ever. Best of all, the movie is really short. Also, the abrupt ending is just as weird as the plot.

SILENT BUT DEADLY (2012)

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Silent But Deadly has a great horror comedy premise. It’s directed and co-written by hottie Jason Lockhart, who was in gay horror film Vampire Boys (which I blog about here). He totally underutilizes his hotness here, appearing only briefly as a punk rocker.

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The co-writer is adorable scream queen Jacqui Holland, who has appeared in Blood Lake, Sorority Party Massacre, Gingerdead Man 3, Monsters in the Woods, The Walking Deceased, and gay horror film The Brides of Sodom (just click on the titles for my blogs about films from that list). Jacqui is also one of the stars of Silent But Deadly.

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I don’t know how they did it, but for this comedy about a killer in a kitty mask targeting the seniors in a retirement home, Jason and Jacqui got veterans like the perfect Dawn Wells (Gilligan’s Island)…

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flawless Lee Meriwether (Barnaby Jones)…

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and still sexy Martin Kove (Karate Kid).

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Even funny man Rip Taylor has an unforgettable first kill scene. Everyone has great fun camping it up and delivering geriatric jokes, especially dirty ones. And even the kill sequences perfectly mimic the tone and atmosphere of genuine slasher films.

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The downside is the film runs way too long for what it’s trying to accomplish and gags are recycled ad nauseum. The film needs some serious trimming, most notably the senior entertainment scenes. They should have been cut completely because they fall completely flat. This includes a sex ed puppet performance and a talent show hosted by Bruce Vilanch in a completely unnecessary and unfunny cameo.

Also, there’s a perfect opportunity to make this a Valentine’s Day horror slasher comedy because the place is decorated for an upcoming Valentine’s celebration. But the holiday never hits. And finally, the seniors should have been put in the lead for the final confrontation with the killer (particularly Dawn!). It seems to be going that way then all of a sudden a totally new character swoops in to save the day. NO! WHY???

I say trim this sucker down about 20 minutes and reshoot the ending and it could become a cult favorite. Oh…and more Jason, please.

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About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES.

I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.

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